Peter Andre gives me the creeps.

[GetOrf]

'i really really love my kids'

No shit sherlock, you are supposed to.

I can't be the only one who thinks he is a passive aggressive weirdo, surely.

Gardening. What the fuck would be the point of a lightbulb catalogue?

No, don't let me win. Say you have support tights or sheepskin holder thingies for your specs. Please.

ooh ooh ooh I bleached my facial hair earlier & looked exactly like Seth off Emmerdale farm.

and I have Laura Ashley curtains.

Seth with the Bugger's Grips?

I actually typed Laura Ashley curtains above and thought - too much. Deleted it . I do though, in my bathroom. I shortened them myself.

Claire will be loving this. Fat bitch.

Hoooo, yes, she'll be having a lovely croissant sandwich and chortling away. Chortling is how Carby Claire larfs.

whereas Peter giggles