If something HUGE was to happen ..

[MaDuggar]

... how long could you survive with what you have in your house right now?

Do you have any tins/bottled water etc put away in case of a emergency?

Have been frealing myself out reading some wacky conspiray sites (all baging on about something huge happeneing in the next 2 weeks) - Im not be;lieveing it, but it has made me think that one day there could be an event and I probably would only last a week with my store cupboard!

You need some old fashioned straighteners like I had as a teenager. They were a way better weapon than a baseball bat!

OK. I have a horse. She's rather old and very fat, but in situations where you need quantity rather than quality, she's your gal. She has also had a tracheostomy and breathes through a hole in her neck. This opens up opportunities to apply a snorkel to the hole and gain amphibious apocalyspe horsewomen action.

Speaking of amphibious - is anyone near a city where they do those 'duck boat tours' - i.e. a big bus which runs on roads and also floats. Optimal zombie avoidance vehicle, methinks. We can always camoflage it so it's not bright yellow.

Life skills I can bring: crocheting. Cocktail mixing.

I refuse fr there to ba an apocolypse now i have just sent an obcene amount of money on a Samsung Galaxy for DP He best be sodding thankfull come Christmas...

Anyway talking of Ferral childrne my youngest is like a fricking Jack Russel he bites/kicks/pinches and he has a way of lulling you into a nice hug only to do something evil, infact his birthday is the 9th Nov so maybe 4 is the age that he will finally grow those horns and tail and declare himself as the evil one? Im waiting for it tbh...
Should this be the case i will be handy on the bus i know his weak points...

I have 3 boxes of LPs in the spare room, so that should be good for zombie fighting. I've seen Sean of the Dead.

Have you ever tried shaving his head titsalina? Just to see if there are any numbers on it...

We could rig up some sort of giant hamster wheel for all the dc to run on, on a shift basis to provide electricity on the warship

shave his head! I would be afraid he would bite me, he is the sort of shild that goes for the throat and doesn't let go...

He does walk around shouting 666 but that might have something to do with my Iron Maiden record being played a little to often..

We can tie him to the front of the warship as our figurehead. Would you object to him being painted and sparkled up a bit? :)

Could we try a Noah's Ark-type stocking of the ship? I can probably get my hands on a pedigree bull (called Shane, which I think is relevant). Need a Mrs Cow as well, mind.

No objections he would love it!

On another note I always let the kids decide what they want for dinner on a Friday becuase i am to lazy tired to conjour something up, they chose a mini tin of Beans and Sausages each and don't they know we might need them?!!!

Hello all, good to see The Plan has gone forward. Stealing a warship means we don't have to steal the luxury submarine.

I will bring my cat along as well, though he is too skinny for eating. He catches mice and brings them home still alive, so we have a ready supply of tiny meats for stews etc.

Boil the horse.

Assuming you have enough cummin and horse snot.

Best on toast

Bilmey - it would have to be some pot that would fit her for boiling.

I only have a hamster - but it is a big one.

If you get me on the right (wrong?) day, you can eat DD2. Please.

I share your pain housemum

I'm having a day like that today, housemum.

And can't we cut up the horse? Or does the whole thing have to fit into the pot at once?

Aha! I just had an idea. We could bring a few rabbits with us. Then we can have rabbit meat all the time.
Just as long as we have other things to eat as well. If you eat just rabbit, you die.

You can eat DS1 if you want he is podgey but not podgey enough to be fatty, i think with some slow stewing he could taste divine. He has CF so is very salty so he doesnt even need seasoning!

Do you really die if you only eat rabbit? DD2 had a jar of rabbit baby food the other day (I know, she usually eats carefully home prepared-grown-by-my-own-hand stuff but we were out). It looked like a chicken on the picture and I didn't read the label until after I'd opened it. She liked it. Sorry went a bit off topic there.

You can get rabbit baby food now?

Dh thinks he could be useful. He is one of those annoying people that can learn any skill just be reading a book/internet page on it. He can cook already which is useful'

What happened in East Anglia then? I'm in East Anglia and my house is definitely shaking - but that might just be because I have six 11 year olds in it at the moment. And whilst I am not purposely aiming for the 'already looted' look, I fear that's what I'm heading for before the day is out.

I don't have a horse, but my neighbour does (not the one who hates me with the guinea pigs and chickens but another one.) I could rustle it perhaps. It's a very posh horse apparently. (v.posh neighbours.)

Also have 5 bicycles of varying sizes, a huge garden shredder that you could fit a pygmy zombie into head first, and a rotovator - you push it along like a lawn mower, but it has blades like one of those lethal chariots in Gladiator. So long as somone could get the enemy prostrate on the ground I can follow though with the chopping up.

And an air pistol. Though anyone who remembers my traumatic story of trying and failing to shoot an injured pigeon will know that as killing machines go, it's not terribly effective.

I have a meat cleaver and poultry shears though. Any good?

The rabbit baby food wasn't in the UK - I'd guess it's probably not available there!

Dh is a Landscape Gardener, and suggests we turf the front of the warship and graze cows and sheep etc, we can also have a grow your own section, maybe a few barrels with fruit trees, make it more of a floating island

Aha! Now we know where Fellatio lives!

And I am in London so can secure Ducktours vehicle if necessary. I am reassured to see that women everywhere are arming themselves with looting sticks - two girls with lacrosse sticks on the way home from work today.

I am also glad that I am not the only one who has Shaun of the Dead on the brain. This thread is spookily like the "Right, so go to mum's, kill Phil, get girlfriend, go to the Winchester" speech.