If something HUGE was to happen ..

[MaDuggar]

... how long could you survive with what you have in your house right now?

Do you have any tins/bottled water etc put away in case of a emergency?

Have been frealing myself out reading some wacky conspiray sites (all baging on about something huge happeneing in the next 2 weeks) - Im not be;lieveing it, but it has made me think that one day there could be an event and I probably would only last a week with my store cupboard!

OGS, why muck around? Surely we'd just go to Fortnums? Or Selfrdiges food hall if we felt the calamity justified a degree of slumming.

Sorry, the zombies have taken over my keyboard.

Sod the warship, I say we commandeer a luxury cruise liner. I need to be comfortable.

Well - my nuclear shop has just arrived and I'm disappointed Mr Tesco would allow me to order 10 bottles of water online. I feel underprepared now .

The delivery guy did look very funnily at me when he carried the 3 trays of value still water to the door. I almost considered explaining my need for a tray of medicines and survival stuff and 28 tins of prunes/lentils and tinned ham(savlon/bleach/matches/vitamins/iron tablets/liquid antiseptic/plasters/candles and a few other bits).

If he had asked, I would probably have backed down and said we were off camping! He seemed like a nice enough bloke but I didn't want him knowing where he could come for his loot stash.... once the day arrives! He did have a very dodgy looking beard .

So samay does DH know what you've got in mind for the sundries he's just bought??

You do know that HMS Arc Royal is for the chop.....

The apocalypse just happened in our house.

The DVD player has busted half way through Toy Story
feck

...and samay you have a PANTRY?????

who hoovers the other wings of your mansion?

Ooh ooh I just remembered, there's a tank at the end of our road (it's on a war memorial). We can use that if we get deperate. Not sure it works though, but someones said their DH was pretty handy and we can always jump start it.

Sorry no waitrose here, morrisons is a nice one though( better than tesco here) and we have a Booths but it's a bit further away.

Blimey, I came on here for the first proper time-wastey relaxing session in days, looking for a bit of light relief and I find the world is about to end. One of you could at least have PM'ed me, or something to warn me. Bloody good job I found this topic. I was going to swan around indoors talking to you lot this afternoon - now I've got to go to Sainsbury's, Millets, and the gun shop.

Right, I have a well.Yes I do, really. It's very deep and full.

And lots and lots of firewood. An aga and a full tank of oil, so we are OK for heat and cooking for a fair while, in the event of no electricity.

Food, well I made some split pea soup yesterday. Who knew I should have saved dem split peas? Will buy more, plus lentils, oats, pasta and tinned goods.

Batteries? We have one of those huge powerful torches like Rhod Gilbert's (you know - like a million candles) but it doesn't hold it's charge for long. Would be better with the candles.

I might need to nip out and buy a generator so I can make the Nespresso coffee machine work. We have to keep our keep our standards and our priorities right or we'll all go to hell in a handcart.

Have cat. Could eat him at a push, but would rather not. Have two dogs and would give them my food before I made them starve, or ate them.

My neighbours have loads of chickens and guinea pigs. They hate us, so won't be sharing. Maybe I need to just kill the neighbours and take their chickens and guinea pigs? Keep a few back for breeding obviously. Then I can have their oil and their tractor, and their their Landrover Defender, and their quad bike. And their red derv. Sorted.

I live where there are plentiful deer and rabbits, and I have a really good bow and arrow. (not many arrows though - need to get more.) Also live very near a fishing lake.
Have a couple of gas bottles, and a big tent.

(I'm starting to feel quite smug now - and no, you can't have my address.)

I'm supposed to flying to somewhere that might loosely described as the Middle East on the 28th. Do I not need to bother to buy a new swimming cozzie or continue with my diet then?

I've been a bit concerned about being blown up on the way, what with everything this week, but given that we will all be falling off the TimeWave cliff on the 15th I suppose I'm ok on the plane bomb front?

Sorry, flying on 18th, and back on 28th (I think) not that it matters in the scheme of things.

It might.

Does anyone know whether a Dyson will be able to cope with the black galactic dust? Or will it clog the filter?

Has anyone noticed that the armoured Bus Brigade seem to have a worrying surplus of DSs and a distinct lack of DDs? If the next generation do eventually have to repopulate the planet, we may regret bringing so many man-children. It would be a shame for us to survive the appocalypse and then watch the human race die out. Anyone up for swapping children with some of the "Take my chances with the zombie" faction?

Incidentally, what is the plan for said "take my chances" faction? Is there a meeting place? Who is in charge? My OH will obviously need to know.

You can take my daughter. I'll throw in some jars of damson jam to make the offer more attractive. She's quite pretty, 12, but generally referred to at school by teachers as 'lively'. I think we know what this word really means.

And can I suggest that the techy husbands make note of the following MN checklist for establishing whether the UK continues to function:

1. Has Matthew Wright been called a c*nt recently?

2. Are the "AIBU to hit this zombie with a stick?" threads relegated to the second page?

3. Have in-laws replaced zombies as main MN hate-targets?

4. Is someone complaining about parking spaces or homework?

Thanksamillion that's a very good plan, but you forgot the bit where you come get me in Belfast.

kungfupannda also a good point. Who has DDs?

abr1de I'll take your daughter. I've got suitably aged boys so we can do our bit to stop the human race being wiped out. Don't worry - I'll give her a couple of years before I make her start.

I've just remembered our fishing rod as well. That's handy. And we have some really strong laser pen things. They might be good for blinding/disorientating aliens or looters, or bringing down hostile aircraft.

Good call about the hedgetrimmers. Will dig out mine, along with the petrol powered leaf blower. It won't kill any attackers, but it will mess up their hair, and buy me some time while we fire up the hedge trimmers and sharpen the axe.

What are the most nutritionally dense long lasting foods? Don't want scurvy.

Do you think we better track down FellationNelson after the Moldova stop-off?

She seems to have a pretty good set-up there.

We are sorted.

I usually find that chocolate biscuits are pretty nutritionally dense. In that I always feel more stupid after I've eaten more than about six.

Sorry Tee lack of sleep has addled brain - obviously you won't be left behind.

I've got 2 DDs (and a DS) but they're a bit little for any reproducing just yet. DD2 is still BFing so that's quite efficient in the event of food supplies running low, not that they will here

I don't want on the bus- I don't want to get eaten by the Nest of vipers and made into a yummy midweek casserole! It will be every man/ woman for themselves, I reckon!

Still a bit jittery about this impending apocalypse, but reckon it is a good excuse to put the diet on hold- those extra few pounds might be needed. (conversely, it means I am now eating my way into my value pack of crisps food supplies)