If something HUGE was to happen ..

[MaDuggar]

... how long could you survive with what you have in your house right now?

Do you have any tins/bottled water etc put away in case of a emergency?

Have been frealing myself out reading some wacky conspiray sites (all baging on about something huge happeneing in the next 2 weeks) - Im not be;lieveing it, but it has made me think that one day there could be an event and I probably would only last a week with my store cupboard!

Well at least nobody will be able to steal those crisps from you when the looting starts.

Yes, I think we need to be on Fellatio's case - I'll start stalking her right now so we're closer to working out where she lives when the trouble starts. I'll follow home anyone I see buying overly poncey and tasteful Christmas decorations until I find her.

I have a DD but she's one of the old ones I'm abandoning to fate.

I've just checked the alcohol. Gin and vodka staples would only last two weeks or so - less if I was VERY fed up, probably due to lack of prowess with deer-felling bow and arrow. Could manage for longer but would have to resort to dregs of wierd unsuitable stuff like Tia Maria, Kirsch, Noilly Prat and Pimms. Whoever drank Pimms in November? This is what we must resort to in desperate times.

And when things are REALLY bad, I'll start on the meths which I keep for the fondue. Have three bottles of that. I believe it's ok if you mix with milk. (need to kidnap lactating cow.)

I have 3 dds (9/10/baby) dd2 is 'lively' too but not bad with a bow & arrow . dd1/2 can kayak & climb so quite useful .

Hassled I've put all ponceness on hold for the time being. This is serious.

Having said that, if it all does kick off, do you think we could put several guinea pigs in a bucket of Nigella's turkey brine? They might have to be served with Smash though, and tinned peas.

On the upside, homemade Xmas pud already done, and once I've sourced and kidnapped my lactating cow we can have cream or custard.

I used to have a rowing boat. Back in the day when I had a large aspiriational puddle-- lake in my garden. Left it behind when we moved - didn't think we'd need it again. How wrong can you be?

there's plenty of cows here but I'm starting to think that Fellatio's sounds nicer than here. Maybe we should cancel Moldova and just head for hers? On the other hand have just been out to well to get some water (not joking) so am very practised

Fellatio can you go to your former house and steal it?

thanksamillion glad it was just on oversight and not a broad hint to get lost!

Worryingly huge queue outside City Centre Cotswold store....

How do Peruvians serve guinea pigs? It might be like gypsies and hedgehogs--baked in clay. Fairly easy round here in all the mud.

But I still want to be near Fortnums.

Another 'lively' girl! Good. The ear-piercing chatter and refusal to sit still for more than two minutes will keep the zombies at bay.

I will offer my services as MN emergency doctor on the sub. I may not have a medical doctorate but sociologically I could analyse why you were all getting ill given your geographical locations, ethnicity, social class and gender. I have also just been to Waitrose and stocked up on so many medicines DH had to queue up separately to pay for some of them as 'the computer said no'. (Two types of Calpol, ffs, very deviant).

Bless him, DH has also talked to me in very kind and gentle tones about why it's all OK, armageddon is unlikely any time soon, and even if it came, we would probably be lynched for looking fatter than other people if we had hoarded food, so there's no point in bothering. DH just doesn't get this, does he?

I do now have a resilience file with instructions for making a solar still and the year's supply of nutrition printed off and filed in there. He will need me when it all kicks off.

I've got 2 dds that I can offer,plus 2 guinea pigs [good fat ones] and the 1/4 tonne of coal that I have just carried up the drive.And of course,the contents of the Cadillac armoury.

I could do Tee and I can row back home via the river and pick up a lactating cow on the way. This plan has legs I think.

And all of you - stick with your Moldova trip, thanks - I'm not sharing my precious resources. Not unless you have something interesting to bring to the table. Show me what you've got and we'll talk, but it better be good.

If you bought two kinds of calpol at one time you're probably on A List and had better hope Armageddon comes quickly, BoffinMum.

Ok, have started clearing out the bunker ready for the invasion.

I have a DD, 8yo but she is Creative. Not sure she will be a dab hand at defending us from the invaders but she is good at climbing trees so we could use her as a look out. And she could paint murals on the walls of the bunker.

DS is a bit of a wannabee engineer. I feel certain that he will be of more use than DH, who as a Finance Man is likely to be as much use as a chocolate tea pot. He is good at making tea and analysing the enemy customers.

Just to be serious a minute ...

Does this bring back memories?

I am trying to remember when I first saw this film. I think I must have been quite young as I had many nightmares on the back end of it, and looking at it again, I wonder if the schools TV style of presentation had a disproprotionately dramatic and negative impact on primary school aged children as a consequence.

It might not even be going too far to say that the Government, while well-intentioned, may have damaged the sense of security of 1970s children irrevocably by allowing this to circulate in the way it did at the time (although I imagine it was not shown on mainstream TV ... or was it?)

LOL
I also bought:

Suet
Toilet roll
Kitchen roll

I am ready. It can start.

MmeLindt your DD can help me with the New World internet DH and I will design after it's all over. I'm a graphic artist.

I don't remember that BM, but I do remember sobbing at When the Wind Blows.

I do have a dd as well as ds but she is 11 and very flouncy so thought it best I leave her behind with dh particularly as if theres no power therefore shes unable to check her email/horse accounts it would be the 2nd apocolypse and 1 is probably enough ....

Ooooh I have TWO DDs. Both of breeding age (well sort of) DD1 is 17, DD2 is 14. They are both very beautiful and healthy. Well DD1 will be now she has antibiotics for her chest infection (thank fook for AIBU last night).

I also have rabbit traps. Humane ones. Although if we are planning to eat bunnies it doesn't really matter. Might be better to raid a petshop.

Actually if the bus stops at Lincoln there is a Waitrose there AND a Pets At Home. We could raid there too . I can offer my Mum and Dads chickens, geese and sheep. Not that I've asked them or anything as I will just get the 'do you feel ok?' look. But they are there for the taking, and I will steal borrow DF's fishing gear too.

I feel we need 2 more horse people on board. So far we only have me and Hassled and the Two Horsewomen of The Apocalypse doesn't really have the same ring to it...

There is a fleet of 50 Harriers jets going cheap. Apparently India doesnt want them.

BoffinMum - I rememeber the film and being frightened as we didnt have a room in our house without windows.

Hurrah for India!
DH is bloody good at Flight Simulator. He can land a Boeing Something Impressive on FS. I'll send him over, possibly disguised as one of Barack's entourage, and he can fly them back to us. The job's a goodun. See how it all ties in nicely?

How much Beenbeta? And are the instruction manuals in English?