My 2 kids go to boarding school, AMA

[happylady1982]

My kids are 14 and 16, they both go to boarding school. Weekly boarding. This means they come home every weekend, and during the half terms and the major holidays too (Christmas, easter, summer).

Right now it's the summer holidays so they are home.

I wanted to do an AMA cause I think people still have negative stereotypes about boarding school.

I think the jury is out on that until they are adults.

Why have kids to only parent them part time?

Do you apply that 'logic' to children being at day schools for 13 years, 5 days a week?

Or is it just the overnight sleeping you object to?

Or you advocating home ed?

Exactly. They'd probably love pizza for tea every day but when they became obese adults with significant health issues it is then that they'd ask their parents why they let them do whatever they wanted.

Because the extracurricular acitivites silly, they are amazeballs apparently. Only school for hundreds of miles that offers the essentials like theatre costume making.

The jury is out on a lot of shit until kids are adults. We all do our best and the OP is making the best choices in her position for her children. It sounds wonderful for them 🥰

What investments have schools made in safeguarding? They have to complete DBS checks and ID checks. Beyond that, there’s usually nothing else.

Paedophiles don’t walk around with it tattood on their head, and the very nature of abusing vulnerable children away from home means it can often go unreported.

Its very sad how common abuse is, and institutions for children, especially those away from their guardians, are very attractive for those who want access to children.

Parents and families are intended to be care givers, guardians, safe havens. Not having that increases the risk to children (let alone emotional damage of separation).

People often have wider families, children don’t need boarding school to feel like they have “a village”. Most children would choose their parents over a collective of boarding school teachers.

@WhisperingHi I don't know what has been done for additional safeguarding, that's why I said presumably. I do know in my school all volunteers have to take part in safeguarding training before they can help out, that a culture of watching, knowing what to look for and early reporting is present at the school I know well.

Sadly statistics show that the majority of abuse (of all kinds) happens in a domestic setting not in a school or care environment. So whatever you schooling choice your child is more in danger at home than at school. Some members of the family circle 'village' will be abusers, its more likely that they will than a school teacher will be.

I don't think they argument keep them at home safe from the paedophiles at school reasoning stacks up against the evidence. The keep them at home as they may suffer from feelings of neglect if sent away is far more convincing.

Paedophiles work in and abuse happens in day schools too you know.

So this thread has turned into boarding schools being a hotbed for child sexual abuse?

The reality is most of it is in the home, or close family, and organisations like the Scouts and churches. And in some sports coaching but children in day schools are as much at risk.

@GingerPopp there are lots of other points made - sometimes one area of concern will dominate if there’s a back and forth between a couple of posters. I think it’s wrong to suggest that posters on the thread have overwhelmingly only worried about sexual abuse and can therefore be ignored because it’s more usually a family member (which is true, but close to 100% of children have families and significantly less than 7% board). It’s not my biggest concern about boarding.

I do - except the ability to abuse in schools 9-3 when much is spend in class (with TA) and lunchtimes is much lower. It still happens, especially in special needs schools, but it’s much less likely than when children sleepover in the institution.

Lots of abuse happens in the evenings when guardians aren’t around.

It’s an added risk I would feel very uncomfortable about. I can’t imagine being a child, alone most of the year without my family and instead with random adults. Very risky.