My 2 kids go to boarding school, AMA

[happylady1982]

My kids are 14 and 16, they both go to boarding school. Weekly boarding. This means they come home every weekend, and during the half terms and the major holidays too (Christmas, easter, summer).

Right now it's the summer holidays so they are home.

I wanted to do an AMA cause I think people still have negative stereotypes about boarding school.

Aka part time parenting/weekend family life. Lovely.

I did explain this to you.
Most start at 13, not 11.

You are being disingenuous. Your examples are ridiculous.

It does sound lovely. OP’s kids sound like they’re having a blast.

How do you feel about the 5 year olds that are in breaks club from 7:30, collected by a nanny at 6pm, and don't see mum and dad until 7:45 at bed time, because the parents are at work?

Or the nurses/ carers working night shifts from 6pm-6am and having to arrange childcare around their shifts?

Don't they love their kids?

Childcare whilst at work is necessary. With house prices nowadays and the cost of living in general then 2 salaries are often needed.

Kids go to school, nursery etc. This is all normal.

What is not normal is paying staff to have their dc live in an institution mon to fri and just play parenting on a weekend.

We must all know ex boarders who look back and wonder wtf their parents were thinking?

Have you children of your own @Gloriia ?

If so, are you 100% sure that everything you do for them is right?

You see, you keep banging on about 11 year olds not knowing what is best for them.

You may be very surprised to know that many 11 year olds express a preference for a secondary school . Some families just go along with that. They don't bother with open days, they don't read OFSTED reports, they may chat to neighbours, but they don't put much effort into the process.

Others go against what their child wants.

There is no guarantee that any school is 'right' for a child - either if it's the parent's choice or the child's.

I'm not sure where you're coming from with your 100% animosity against boarding school. The opposite is not always a perfect, happy home life with mum and dad. I've posted already about how boarding schools can suit many families where the parent's relationships are complicated and quite frankly, I'm in a better position than you to judge this as I've worked in these schools.

But- you won't take any other views on board, will you?

We must all know ex boarders who look back and wonder wtf their parents were thinking?

and we all know adults who enjoyed boarding and thrived.

She’s just dug a hole and can’t get out of it.

I’ve worked in those schools to. As a house parent. Most children would be better off at home. A tiny number benefit from stability wherehome life is poor. An even tinier minority need it for their talents.

What hole is that?!

Yes and yes. Hope that helps.

You’re in great company! OP is also certain what she’s doing is right for her kids. Wonderful!

My cousin was sent to boarding school, he wanted to go. It massively effected his relationship with his parents and family. He missed so many family events and we were working class, so had nothing like the same life. Do they always want to come home at weekends? Do they have a choice to stay if they want to? Is it strange to have them in your house for school holidays as you are not use to having them there?

you don’t need a smart phone - you could have a phone that allows you to contact just pre saved numbers.

😂 genuinely had no idea what that was! Yes I do have a phone. No my children don’t have a phone and the OPs kids don’t have access to them at some times.

Most good schools have a phone policy. The children will be able to phone their parents if they need to.

School will decide if they need to ring parents, not the child.

'In great company'. Our dc lived with us until uni. The op's kids were packed off at 11 to come home on a weekend for a brief family experience. 2 totally different scenarios

Yes the imaginary one you’ve invented where they were “packed off” is definitely a different scenario

So what? My kids don't have access to their phones overnight either??

Oh yes, it's marvellous and you're clearly the very best Mum in the whole world.
And you do everything right for them.
Such modesty. Such confidence.

Have you heard 'pride comes before a fall'?

They can presumably shout you if they want your help thoigh? Tricky from school.

So why did you work somewhere which was at odds with your conscience?

It seems odd you chose to work in a boarding school when you disagree with what they do.

Did you ever talk to the staff or parents about how you felt their child was unsuited to it? You must have had input along the way.

Not really. They talk to the house staff and explain what they want/ need and either phone or ask the house staff to make a call.

Pastoral care varies hugely but it's far more hands-on now than 30 years ago.