My 2 kids go to boarding school, AMA

[happylady1982]

My kids are 14 and 16, they both go to boarding school. Weekly boarding. This means they come home every weekend, and during the half terms and the major holidays too (Christmas, easter, summer).

Right now it's the summer holidays so they are home.

I wanted to do an AMA cause I think people still have negative stereotypes about boarding school.

That would be weird indeed. They sleep in the boarding house thankfully.

Boarding house with paid staff. Weird.

If I'm honest, I don't really understand boarding in military families either. Unless both parents are in the military, I simply don't get why it's important to keep the adults living together whilst sending the kids to boarding school. I know it's tradition and is the done thing but I don't really get it. I know nothing of the military though so maybe am missing something that makes the choice unavoidable.

I think the widowers and wanting female staff to have input is a bit of a bizarre example you've given though. I can't imagine that if a child's mother dies, the best situation could ever be to send them to live at school for x nights a year. I don't know whether that is a frequent reason for boarding or not, but if it is then that is one of the most incredibly sad reasons that I've seen on here.

'If I'm honest, I don't really understand boarding in military families either. Unless both parents are in the military, I simply don't get why it's important to keep the adults living together whilst sending the kids to boarding school'

Yes I was under the impression all locations had such provision as housing and schools. Why leave your kids in another country?

How so?

Stability, so they don't have to keep moving countries and starting again.

I was thinking more that if one parent isn't in the military and they are forced to move around a lot to different postings, why doesn't that parent just stay in one place, with the kids, and the military parent is the one who they see less? Rather than the child. But yes, if there are schools then also a possible alternative. I understand more if both parents are in the military.

Have you ever met a military family? Do you know anything about the upheaval for the kids?

Why (if just one parent in military) would they choose for parents to be posted abroad with the children in boarding school instead of one parent abroad and the other living with the kids? I suspect there's a lot of tradition that goes with this rather than it being the only possibility.

I don’t know of anyone who does this. The military wives I know stay with the children. I’m talking about families where both parents are in the military

This is what I mean. You dismiss everyone else. I do have experience. I was a houseparent in boarding. I just disagree with you about it. I’m not ‘bashing’ the OP either. Just disagreeing. That’s allowed.

My. Personal. Experience.

Hyperbole doesn’t help your ‘argument’.
I have never said boarders are constantly miserable. I’ve certainly never said they are neglected. I’ve said most of them would be better off not boarding. That’s all. They’d be happier and better set up for the future if they didn’t board.
The school was a nice place to be as it happens - but it was a nice school to be in, not a home, and the staff were lovely and well trained and committed, but staff, not family.

It is indeed allowed.

I think everyone understands the staff are not family. That’s the nature of boarding. Weekly and flexi boarding is perfectly fine for the OP’s children. I know many children doing the same and all thriving.

I am totally aware why some parents sent their kids to boarding school, my daughter in law and her brother being 2 of them. Packed off because Dad was in the army and posted abroad, mum wasn't but felt it more important to be with her husband than raise her kids. Both have huge attachment issues, I love. My daughter in law but watch her struggle to a. Have a relationship with her parents and b) cry because she wants the relationship I have with my children. The friend she went to school with all have similar issues, they are bonded to each other not to their families. It is not nonsense to say they are shipped off, as I said before w it is nodifferent to foster care only difference is one is paid for by the state.

Yes. Far better to be with family than paid staff despite the 'upheaval'.

'as I said before w it is nodifferent to foster care only difference is one is paid for by the state'

Exactly but with trophies and super activities, I find it incredible that some will still argue that is great to be away from their family for the majority of the week.

We should all know being with parents in a family setting is far better than being in some kind of paid care setting be it privately paid or state funded. Oh but the sports...

You'd have your kids change school every few months to different areas and countries?

From Google - 'The average length of a single posting in the British Army is 2 years for officers and 3 years for non-commissioned soldiers and other ranks'

And if for some reason the army did send their staff different places every few months I'd suggest one parent stay with the kids and have the soldier be it Mum or Dad being the one living out.

Shouldn't have kids if you don't want to live with them until uni age/adulthood when it is the norm for them to live out.

Are you prim and proper? Is your dd?

Google isn't a source, it's a search engine.

That's like citing your source as "the library" or "a book".

Does it matter? You'll get exactly the same info from 'sources'. It's a chat forum not a dissertation, I don't need to cite references

There is only one way in all of this - the Gloriia way!

By the way, 'average' means that. It means some postings are for 6 months or a year.

You won't get non commissioned force staff usually able to afford private ed .

Ok so you'd have your kids change school every 2 years? Going to different parts of country or abroad?