I am submissive to my husband AMA

[Peachesx2606]

Please AMA but please be kind.

I'm interested in other thoughts/opinions and will try to give mine.

This is just something that seems to work for us x

Are any of your kids daughters and, if so, are you worried about the example you are setting them?

Are you going to sit them down and explain that your submission is an agreement, rather than the norm, and prepare them for a World in which women are forced to fight for equality?

Well, I put a lot of trust in him so sometimes I worry about that. I guess I put myself in quite a vulnerable position. But conversely as a general rule it makes me feel very safe and looked after.

It’s a taboo subject because women have fought for equality for over 100 years, some gave their lives for the cause, and then to hear about women who are submissive to their partner, and need to be “looked after”, it does seem like a backward step tbh.
I personally would baulk at it, as I suspect most women would, but if it works for you then that’s your business.
Not sure anyone is going to feel anything but pity for you though.

Do you submit to your husband regarding parenting your older two children? What do they think about that? How does he react when they don’t submit to his decision making?

Why do you think he will make the best decisions? Is it because he is a male or because he is intelligent or because of his job, for example?

Would you hope that your child (either male or female) follow the roles you have in your own marriage?

Were you submissive in your previous relationship(s)?

Thank you for being open.

Do you understand that it's normal to feel safe and cared for in a relationship without having to defer to our men as the superior partner?

These relationships are unfortunately common but we call them controlling and abusive

AI really isn't very good yet, is it?

If you want to put yourself in a vulnerable position that's your prerogative but do you not think you have also then put your children in a vulnerable position?

Perhaps you feel safer because if any life decisions turn out badly, you can't be blamed?

Do you want your children to be in relationships like this because children who grow up witnessing these types of relationships think its normal.

That’s really disturbing, all relationships should make you feel safe and looked after, that’s what a good relationship is. It doesn’t mean you have to do as your told.

THIS.

Op why do you want to talk about this, as it comes across as you don’t really.

are you unhappy? Is this it, are you in a controlling relationship?

Are you an anxious person?

Do you feel you're able to have a more relaxed and less taxed mind because you don't have the responsibility of the decisions ?

I'm SO curious about this !

Submissive could mean different things.
Can you describe what it means to you.

What makes you feel you need to be looked after?

Did your parents keep you from developing your independence when you were a child/teen?

How did you manage before you met your DH?

Yes. When I was younger and with my first husband I would have never done this in a million years. I would have wondered why anyone would. But my first husband was not the strong type. He was quite weak until he would lose his temper and all hell would break loose. I don't have any safety concerns. Yes, I have freedom to have friendships etc. He controls all our finances currently. I don't work right now. Self expression, no I don't think so. Autonomy to a certain extent. But with my consent of you see what I mean. No psychological coercion or control.

Was your previous marriage abusive?
Are you bringing coerced by your current husband?
What do your children think about you not having agency or autonomy? How will you advocate for them if your husband disagrees about how to raise them?

From the tone of your posts I’m actually genuinely worried for you OP.

How old are your 2 older children? Do they still live with you?

Do you feel always being submissive to your dh has an impact on them in any way? Do you let him do all the decisions and discipline when it comes to them?

What would happen do you think it you ever felt so strongly about something that you refused to go along with what he wanted ? Would he be angry? Would you dare to refuse to go along with his decision in anything ?

Yes, I am. I really deeply love my husband. He makes me happy. I have lovely children and a nice home. I am studying currently which I enjoy. I also have time to myself at the gym and see my best friend quite a lot.

But then why? Why are you behaving like a member of staff or a child. Whose idea was it? His ?

Absolutely this! My DH and I make decisions equally in our house and he listens to me as an equal partner because that’s what I am. I feel completely safe and cared for. Even more so because I know he respects me.

Would you want this for your children when they are adults? Either as the sub (your position) or the dom (your husband’s)?