I’m a romany gypsy married to a non traveller AMA

[overstimulatedhermit]

For clarification I was married to a traveller and had 3 children. So I did go down the traditional route but he was very abusive and a narcissist and I’m now dealing with the aftermath of trauma and years of abuse. But that’s another matter, I wanted to start a thread because I know people would be curious about a gypsy marrying outside her culture.

How did you meet DH/ end up getting together? Did you think you’d end up getting serious with a non-gypsy?
Do you know any other gypsies who married outside of the culture? I am curious about how common it is!

Well, I don’t disagree with you, but she seems pretty clear about being Romany.

Mind you, as an Irish person in England, a not negligible minority of people seemed to be unable to distinguish between Irish people and ‘travellers of Irish extraction, many of whom had grown up in the UK’.

What do you think of womens rights in your culture as opposed to mainstream uk culture?

I think a lot of Romany have 'mingled' with Irish travellers over the years in the UK. I know people who identify as Romany but have that Irish sounding voice.
I think this adds to the confusion around Romany and travellers.

This is such an interesting thread. I grew up near a big camp that is now gone and the judgement on the people there used to drive me mad. I worked in the supermarket nearby for a while and the women and girls from the camp were always among the nicest and most polite people I ever encountered when I worked there.

My 'first love' was a traveller when we were both 16 (he wasn't from that camp) and he was always with men from his family who were fucking around on their wives with girls from my village, which I didn't realise until some time later when one of the wives got hold of me and quizzed me. I was so naive and couldn't hold my water and I think I got a lot of them in trouble 😬

I've always felt a bit protective of travellers and hate that they're demonised for things that are ultimately a failure of councils.

Romany gypsies are Roma, originally (many centuries back) from what's now North Western India. We've been in England since at least the fifteen hundreds.

Irish and Scots Travellers/the Paveen are a completely different ethic group and emerged in the last three hundred years. Some think they were originally emulating Romany gypsy culture and there are certainly a lot of common elements but also some very important differences.

As for p**ey, that's not a word you should ever use.

what are the differences between romany gypsies and irish travellers?

In irish travellers documentaries online etc, they show girls leaving school to look after the kids/ clean etc, what do the women then do all day?

thanks for starting the thread - its interesting!

@Terracottafarmers
Irish travellers are genetically Irish, but split from the settled community centuries ago, in the 1600s I think. They are now recognised as a separate ethnic group within Ireland, but there is no historical genetic relationship with Romany gypsies.

Not sure about now, but traditionally families were big. Lots of work caring for children from a young age. I’m not sure if that’s changed or not, OP do you know?

www.rcsi.com/dublin/news-and-events/news/news-article/2017/02/study-on-irish-travellers-estimates-split-from-settled-community

Friends Families and Travellers -

https://www.gypsy-traveller.org/

That’s lovely,
The birth of a new baby is a massive deal in our community. Our mothers or single sisters move in with us for the first week to help out so the mum gets rest and recovers. We’re never short of babysitters lol

Because he preferred my way and respected my culture.

I’ve had 3 businesses and worked half my life. I’ve done alright for myself.

Thank you ☺️

No not at all, I know hundreds of gypsy/travellers that work or have their own businesses. A lot of the women own boutiques, market stalls, aesthetic business, mobile hairdressers and makeup artists.

ive done everything from cleaning to owning my own shops. My last job that I was made redundant from working for Royal Mail.

My only feeling is that I don’t judge a whole group of people by a few that live in my town.

One of my children got married at 17, I consented because if I didn’t they would run away and live unmarried. So I did the best thing and gave them my consent because I would rather see them married and have security than be left with nothing if things turned bad.

I’m romany gypsy, I’m English.

With money that my husband earns.

I met him through friends, I didn’t think I’d meet anyone and didn’t want to if I’m honest. But I met him and we just clicked instantly, it never bothered me about who he was or where he was from.

yeah I know a few as it goes, even in my family. Years ago it would be frowned upon to marry outside of your own but it’s quite common now.

I don’t understand this question, what do you think I can’t do that you can?

I’ve explained some of the differences in an earlier comment.
The women are usually doing the same as the daughters, cleaning, cooking and raising children. I can’t speak about everyone because i don’t know everyone.

Are you superstitious?
If yes, what’s your fav superstitions?

Although they get such bad press, I’ve such a love for the travelling community. I respect them, their resilience and preservation of tradition.

I’ve always wondered, for those who travel, what makes them decide to go on the move, where to go, and how long to halt for. What are the drivers for travelling?

But thinking that only people with vaginas should do the cooking and cleaning isn’t a ‘culture’, it’s just misogyny.

its still the same now.