I’m a romany gypsy married to a non traveller AMA

[overstimulatedhermit]

For clarification I was married to a traveller and had 3 children. So I did go down the traditional route but he was very abusive and a narcissist and I’m now dealing with the aftermath of trauma and years of abuse. But that’s another matter, I wanted to start a thread because I know people would be curious about a gypsy marrying outside her culture.

Why would that be the reason why they don’t get on? I’d say prejudice is the reason.

Why is that?

Its unnessary CountryQueen.

If there is a dispute between members of the two groups, whose rules of conduct should be used to settle the matter? Is it prejudiced to say that disputes should be decided with calm discussion or if necessary escalate to either the police or civil court system instead of violence?

Nah, it’s true. Every now and then you get a poster on AMA declaring various things like it’s gospel.

She’s just told me I’m not with travellers. I assure you that I am. There are plenty of videos out there showing exactly what the language is like from some of these men and young men. In front of women.

She has just told me that no gypsy would say the word dickhead in front of his Mam, wife or sister.

And it gives the complete wrong impression. It’s deluded and everyone knows it’s complete bollocks so why not call it out for what it is?

Where I live there are thousands of travellers. I work with them, I socialise at the gym with them, our kids went to school with them. Not now as sadly, most do not go on to high school despite being settled here and living here all their lives. That is changing as I said, but not quickly.

You can’t just post an AMA and then fling false info out like it’s gospel, be rude to people and tell them to sling their hook and expect it to be ignored. That’s not how this works

No need for police we settle our own disputes. The rules are no weapons, fight and shake hands afterwards job done.

Who you are probably with are what we call wannabes or wydows. They are not travellers no matter what they have told you. Like I have in other comments go on travellers pages on tiktok and they will tell you, no one speaks like that infront of women. It’s classed as filthy talk. I’ve not been rude to anyone on here but if I’m being called a liar then I will pull you up on it.

Where I live there are thousands of travellers. I work with them, I socialise at the gym with them, our kids went to school with them.

OP said she was Romany gypsy though, not a traveller. Could that be the reason for some of the differences you’re seeing @CountryQueen?

No, they are travellers. End of. I don’t need my info from TikTok thank you and you’re wrong. You know it though.

The difference is not that they aren’t Romany as the neighbouring site is Romany and is worse.

As for weapons, they were out with machetes a few months ago. That’s on tik tok if you want to see it. As is the backlash from the recent murder by stabbing on the Romany gypsy site here.

Nope sorry don’t believe you for a second. End of.

And on a final note, I’m not disagreeing about the prejudice and persecution they face in communities, and probably directly from services like councils. They absolutely do. It’s disgusting.

As I’ve said, I have friends within the community, and the OP and others like her that claim no gypsies whatsoever swear, talk about self, say dickhead or use weapons are doing them no favours. Neither is claiming they’d send the kids to school if only the councils would build them estates to live on. Utter nonsense. You only have to look around you to disprove it

Ok love 🤣

I’m asking about a dispute where one man is a member of your community but the other man is someone outside of your community. How does that get handled?

also circling back to the fact that your husband is not a member of your community, has he been expected to use violence to resolve issues?

Great thread, I have learnt a lot.

@Aiteal i wanted to recommend a historian called. Becky Taylor https://research-portal.uea.ac.uk/en/persons/becky-taylor

If you can get hold of any of her work, even an article she is a very accessible academic.

That would just be a fight. And no he hasn’t

Estates? Now I know you don’t know what your talking about🤣

I’m still confused. So the expectation would be that a dispute would be solved with violence, not talking, not calling the police, not going to court?

Why are you so invested?? It seems like you just want to deliberately be an a**hole to the OP?
It's her thread. Really unnecessary to constantly come at her and be aggressive.

Not every Romany is the same!! The OP is sharing her experiences. Your friends will obviously have different experiences. The same as any other group of people.

Depends what the dispute was about.

I think the point is, the rest of us don't settle disputes with fights. Ever.
So how would that work? Would the traveler side agree to disagree, or would they attack anyway?

Not everything is prejudice. Disliking violence is a legitimate reason to be concerned about this.

I am finding all this very interesting. I remember travellers coming to our school for a couple of months each year in secondary school - not saying they weren’t bullied by some but most of us were pleased to see them.

Re the physical fighting/housework etc from the way you tell it (apologies if I have misunderstood) it seems that if a traveller marries a non traveller then the travellers culture/lifestyle dominates over the non traveller.

@overstimulatedhermit

so how does a fight settle the dispute then? Is it whoever causes the most injury is the winner and right?

Depends what it’s about

Not always.