I am a submissive woman, married to my Dominant. We practice 24/7 lifestyle D/s.

[BellaDelBosco]

A fellow mumsnetter suggested it would be interesting for me to post an AMA and here I am.

I ran a search in previous AMAs and I believe this subject has not been tackled. There was a previous thread from a male submissive and a tradwife but I do not think there is one written by a submissive woman. I mean, there was a poor masochist sub who tried to start a conversation but did not quite go to plan and she did not come back on the thread. I hope this attempt will generate an interesting discussion and I'll be able to dispel some myths.

The context: I have been married to my Dominant for over twenty years and we are still very very much in love, in fact we are totally enthralled by each other. We met in an unusual setting but not specifically BDSM-oriented. I had previous experience and it was I who suggested this setup, which was really clarifying and expressing a dynamic already present in our relationship. We had couple counselling, read books and we still work at our relationship every day.

Why this could be interesting: BDSM references are more and more present, in TV programs and social media. There are whole series dedicated to it (Netflix Bonding) It's relatively easy to gather experiences from professionals in the field, esp. Dominants, but to hear the true voices of people who have made this as a lifestyle choice throughout the years it is harder. There are also false narratives of BDSM that are portrayed by erotic literature but, again, the lived experience of real life couples is different. My life is very similar to an ordinary life in many ways but it has also some not ordinary aspects, that I am willing to open up.

My boundaries: this is what we call a 'hard limit': I am going to respond to questions related to sexual habits only in a very broad, general way as 1. this is not the place and 2. it is mainly a relationship style, and it is a spiritual relationship, the sexual aspect is a byproduct and a means of communication of other aspects. I am also not going to respond to DMs. If you have questions please ask on the thread. Finally, another point of interesting discussion could be how this lifestyle has brought us to be still so happy together through the decades when many marriages and in divorce within a few years.

The timings: I live a structured, busy life so please do not be alarmed if I'm not responding immediately.

edited as I caught a typo.

Another one. Not sure why someone from US would want to spend so long on a UK site frequented predominantly by UK people. For kicks?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex/5093788-anyone-in-a-ds-or-power-exchange-dynamic

Thanks for that but I'm 61.

I think bot no, man probably, on reflection.

ETA @Fingeronthebutton perhaps reflect on the scolding tone.

I love how those who don't like the topic are trying to get the thread deleted by filling it up with troll hunting

Would you say you have any self respect? Don't you find it all a bit tawdry and embarrassing?

'PiranhaPeaches · Today 20:01
I love how those who don't like the topic are trying to get the thread deleted by filling it up with troll hunting'

Topic could be interesting, not to everyone's taste, but interesting.
However, it is very light on content. You tend to find that when a poster has no real knowledge of their subject.
People who post for reaction, rather than a discussion are soon found out.

I'm pretty sure most men who would post for kicks or bots who would post for bot-kicks don't know or care enough about the aefrects of child rearing and the relationship they have at home with respect to child rearing on women's careers, future career planning or even about post partum or what that means or entails to give me any kind of repsonse,

On the other hand I'm pretty interested in it so not going to drop it.

What a load of bollocks.

Just popped back in, I see the op never explained how her partner was holding her whilst he sat on the sofa whilst she sat on the floor.

bit of a blooper 😂

Isn't having her sit on the floor rather than the sofa treating her like a dog?

I'd say most marriages in Britain are based on 'consent and love'. It doesn't mean a lot of men don't, supposedly out of the blue, write an 'I'm leaving you' note for their wives, shag prostitutes on stag nights or get physical during an argument. Who's to say her husband wouldn't eventually demand extreme things from the OP? Isn't there a saying, 'Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.'?

The topic could indeed be interesting, but so far, the only remotely weird thing we’ve got is the cushion on the floor.

My husband does 100% of the cooking and 90% of the laundry and domestic stuff. My AMA would’ve been more interesting and we don’t give it a silly name to jazz it up 😂

He's telling her to sit on the floor, though. That sounds a lot like treating someone like a dog - loads of people won't let their dogs on the sofa.

What do you think has happened to you in your life to make you ultimately want to place the wants and needs of another before your own/ base your own happiness on satisfying the wants of for another person- instead of thinking about yourself/ basing your own satisfaction solely on meeting theirs?

I don't see how any of this is submissive. OP is doing exactly what OP wants 😕

He can do whatever the fk he wants. If she's not down with it then a safeword can be used, apparently.

Sorry, I think your life choices are appaling and a dreadful example to set for anyone. Male or female.

She doesn’t say he tells her to sit on the floor though, only that she does so.

I suspect the OP is some sort of fantasist.

How strange 😳

Yep, it's just a version of I do all the cooking. Are we supposed to infer some unsavoury sexual shennanigans. It's like it's written in code.

Yeah it’s quite boring really. Sounds like you do what 90% of women (unfortunately) do anyway without making a martyr of themselves about it. The only thing remotely different is that you sit on the floor 😂

She should have titled her thread ‘I do all the cooking, take the bins out and choose to sit on the floor -AMA’.

Yeah we need to hear about the really juicy stuff. The most pertinent question was how do you know whats real life and whats role play.

Well his or her implication is she is told to sit on the floor, it’s her place. Very odd. I agree doing an as, a fantasist. Especially with the slip up of him holding her.

I think OP jumped the shark with ‘beloved husband’.

That’s taking wifely love too far 🤣

I doubt she’ll be back.

I'd be interested in what the OP's relationship was like with her father. Giving all the power and control to a man like this makes her like a child in the relationship and him like a controlling, emotionally abusive father IMO. There's talk of 'belonging' and I wonder if she grew up feeling desperate to belong.

It's like you live in a world of candy floss and make believe when you write OP. Everything is beloved and you just love it all so much and everyone loves the jobs they do you're so lucky you get to sit of the floor and you wish he made you do even more because it's all so lovely and wonderful.

If you were my daughter I'd be extremely worried you and about the lasting impact the trauma you had in your childhood has had on you. I find this all really worrying to be honest.