I am a submissive woman, married to my Dominant. We practice 24/7 lifestyle D/s.

[BellaDelBosco]

A fellow mumsnetter suggested it would be interesting for me to post an AMA and here I am.

I ran a search in previous AMAs and I believe this subject has not been tackled. There was a previous thread from a male submissive and a tradwife but I do not think there is one written by a submissive woman. I mean, there was a poor masochist sub who tried to start a conversation but did not quite go to plan and she did not come back on the thread. I hope this attempt will generate an interesting discussion and I'll be able to dispel some myths.

The context: I have been married to my Dominant for over twenty years and we are still very very much in love, in fact we are totally enthralled by each other. We met in an unusual setting but not specifically BDSM-oriented. I had previous experience and it was I who suggested this setup, which was really clarifying and expressing a dynamic already present in our relationship. We had couple counselling, read books and we still work at our relationship every day.

Why this could be interesting: BDSM references are more and more present, in TV programs and social media. There are whole series dedicated to it (Netflix Bonding) It's relatively easy to gather experiences from professionals in the field, esp. Dominants, but to hear the true voices of people who have made this as a lifestyle choice throughout the years it is harder. There are also false narratives of BDSM that are portrayed by erotic literature but, again, the lived experience of real life couples is different. My life is very similar to an ordinary life in many ways but it has also some not ordinary aspects, that I am willing to open up.

My boundaries: this is what we call a 'hard limit': I am going to respond to questions related to sexual habits only in a very broad, general way as 1. this is not the place and 2. it is mainly a relationship style, and it is a spiritual relationship, the sexual aspect is a byproduct and a means of communication of other aspects. I am also not going to respond to DMs. If you have questions please ask on the thread. Finally, another point of interesting discussion could be how this lifestyle has brought us to be still so happy together through the decades when many marriages and in divorce within a few years.

The timings: I live a structured, busy life so please do not be alarmed if I'm not responding immediately.

edited as I caught a typo.

She said she was off to watch the Spain/Italy match. I dont think its a bot but youve got to doubt the reasoning behind it all. Wheres the proof shes from South America anyway?

Unless she's from Spain or Italy, I wonder why she would watch the Spain/Italy match when she says she was barely watching the England v Denmark match.

Unless her husband has said she has to 😂

Name sounds Italian so that checks out.

What a waste of life.

Are you both monogamous?

@MartyFunkhouser 😂😂😂 quite.

If you decided that you weren't enjoying it anymore, do you think it would take a lot of negotiation with your husband?

What if you were sitting on your floor pillow and felt like 'actually this is bullshit, why am i pretending that this man is more important than me'

What then?

Do you not feel a bit weirded out about how sleazy and gross most of the fetish community is in real life?

**
It means I cherish the divine in my love for my partner and give myself to him unconditionally and fully. Do you know the Beatles song 'across the universe'? That's how it feels. Letting go. Belonging. It's the best feeling in the world, to me”

You can do that without having to sit on the bloody floor.

Does it bother you that, to the vast majority of women, the idea of being submissive to a man is utterly revolting and that they will probably feel sorry for you?

I really hope your kids aren't affected by the dynamic.

Have you heard of repetition compulsion?

Don't you think that this set up that you describe is simply the fetishized reflection of the bog standard, traditional and heteronormative dynamic of a highly conservative marriage?

Thank you for sharing, I love hearing about people’s lives in a more in depth way than a passing comment.

What I am interested to know is, apart from your sexual inclinations, in what way does this differ from an old fashioned/traditional marriage?

And, I hope you don’t mind me asking, are you on the autistic spectrum?

What I am interested to know is, apart from your sexual inclinations, in what way does this differ from an old fashioned/traditional marriage?

Look up freeuse and CNC then report back. Should answer your question.

Beloved husband 🤣🤣🤣🤣

AKA Traumatic Reinactment.

'Reclaiming trauma in a safe way?' Nope. The therapist wants shooting for that was also likely a bloke

Yep and her answers are rubbish, superficial and actually dull. More like someone who leads a pretend Dom/submissive life to add interest to an old fashioned marriage where cleaning and taking the bins out equals a higher level of satisfaction.

And the slip up over the cuddling on sofa when she’s claimed to only sit on a cushion - how dopey!

This thread will not make her interesting unfortunately

What a strange thread. Lots of questions, with vague/no answers - it's as though @BellaDelBosco is talking to (convincing?) herself.

Why does everything need a label?

Surely many relationships have a similar dynamic but they’re not given a label.

Its almost like having a label justifies things that one of you aren’t happy with.

I think relationships should be however both partners want them to be and there is no ‘normal’ dynamic.

But I have to say that it comes across as you’re quite vulnerable and it makes me quite sad that you’ve convinced yourself that this is what you want and what you’ve chosen for your life, when some of your answers imply that you simply go along with it rather than choose it.

Yawn 🥱😴

thought it was going to be juicier than this. only remotely interesting thing was the cushion on the floor oh and the weird way you said your husbands holding you as you watch the football 🤣😩

This post is screaming a man wrote this

He will be loving you typing things like this - humiliation and abuse is what he wants.