I am a Black male stripper and naked cleaner/butler in London working almost exclusively for white women. AMA

[OliverMartins]

As the title says. Happy to answer any questions you might have.

You are comparing quite different things. Paedophilia is not a kink.

Yes me too, and in a perfect world there wouldn’t be any. I think most people
would agree with that. I also don’t think sex work of any kind is actively empowering as such (but few things are).

However I think prostitution and broader sex work is always going to exist, so I think one might as well approach it from that POV, depressing though it is.

Although I think all sex work has exploitative elements, I am not sure that what the OP does impacts on the sharper end one way or the other.

And while I get why people would be deeply concerned about the racist elements of a black man catering to a mostly white female cliental, I think there is a difference between preference and racism. I can also accept there’s a difference between kink and racism, although I’m not at all comfortable with it.

An intelligent and considered reply.

Kink is just a word people have invented to try to legitimise things that are otherwise regarded as socially aberrant/ abhorrent. Like whipping people or racism. Just like 'play' is. See 'breath play' (strangulation) or 'race play' (racism). Things don't become okay just because you renamed them kink or play. You need a better justification than a label.

Anyway, semantics aside, the parallel stands. You are arguing that providing an outlet for an otherwise harmful desire or attitude, renders that desire /attitude safe by limiting it to a controlled environment. I am saying the evidence does not support that, but rather suggests that allowing the 'outlet' increases the desire/ attitude, through feeding it.

The principle is the same though. You are arguing that the service you provide gives white women an outlet for their racist-based sexual preferences/kinks whatever you call them, so that they don't spill over into real life. I would argue that it just helps perpetuate them.

As a black man if you can live with that, fair enough. But I think it's a bit disingenuous to say you're interested in our thoughts and opinions when you've come onto a site known to be significantly made up of your target demographic - professional white women 35-55, using your stage name so that you're easily looked up, when you're clearly here to drum up trade. I don't doubt you'll get some enquiries off the back of this, fair enough, but I think you should be honest about the racial aspect of your work.

If the interviewer is racist, she will be racist in every environment.

PS Paedophilia can never be consensual. This is a fundamental difference.

I think there is a difference between preference and racism. I can also accept there’s a difference between kink and racism, although I’m not at all comfortable with it

What is it though? You and OP are just making assertions that a preference or kink is different from racism, without in any way articulating how. It seems to me they only exist because they are rooted in racist attitudes. They could not exist without this. How could they?

Black skin is more beautiful to many people than white skin.

So are you saying here that you know your clients are racist and you are happy to profit from their racism?

PS Paedophilia can never be consensual. This is a fundamental difference
Sorry, this is a body swerve. My argument was not based on the issue of consent. The parallel was specifically about your argument that harmful desires can be made harmless by giving them a contained outlet. I don't believe the evidence supports that specific point.

But if its just about the colour of skin then its not a kink? You seemed to be arguing above that the fact you were black is part of the kink for them.

I do think black skin is intrinsically beautiful.

Aesthetically not sexually, I hasten to add.

The client you are referring to is a hypothetical client in a hypothetical scenario. I have repeatedly pointed out that I do not experience racism in my work, unlike in other more respectable white-dominated environments. But feel free to tell a Black man he is wrong and you know better.

Also your OP title could easily have said "I am a male stripper and naked cleaner/butler in London AMA" and that would have made an interesting AMA and stimulated debate about sexual objectification and whether it's damaging or not. But you explicitly made it about race.

Which prompted a very good debate.

(Can I ask if you are white or Black?)

Where racism and sexism are structural, individuals may not experience consequences while at a societal level it is still harmful.

What is it though? You and OP are just making assertions that a preference or kink is different from racism, without in any way articulating how. It seems to me they only exist because they are rooted in racist attitudes. They could not exist without this. How could they?

If a white women, has a preference for black men, sexually, is that rooted in racism?
We probably all know couples in this scenario but Tbh I've not considered them racist.

I know quite a few who are married and have children.

When does a sexual attraction/ preference become racist?

It becomes racist when it upsets the sensitivities of white puritanical pearl-clutchers.

When you want someone of a different race to nakedly clean your house whilst you watch?

It’s interesting though- someone explained to me a dynamic I wasn’t aware of where the young men in her community were dating and marrying white women, which had an impact on the black women ‘left behind’.

Individuals choices which make perfect sense to them and are superficially free of consequence or bias, can still have an impact on wider society.

I mean, I’m not sure it’s fair to deny OP the opportunity to become financially independent doing this, for the sake of wider society. That’s a heavy burden for an individual.

That’s not to say we shouldn’t be working at societal level to eradicate harmful attitudes.

It appears to be nowhere on the internet though?

How do you advertise?

That's a bit disingenuous. I made the point that just as I think that men who pay to use women sexually can never see women as equal, so the same applies in your situation, and you have been overt that they employ you because of your race.

You then chose to reply and argue that your service would stop the harms of a racist person by giving them a benign outlet.

I don’t think it’s the same. The women in those clubs are only being accessed one dimensionally. The op going into someone’s home and is presumably building a relationship, that enables them to see him as more than just an object.
It’s not my thing, couldn’t afford the op for a start, but can’t imagine the women hiring him are wanting to do anything beyond indulge in a fantasy. If they were truly hate filled racists, I’m sure the op would have noticed and decline the work.
Personally, find rap and popular cultures depiction of young black males far more damaging than what the op is doing.

Largely word of mouth and on a couple of sites. Thanks for searching though.
(I am not using this thread for advertising purposes)