I am a Black male stripper and naked cleaner/butler in London working almost exclusively for white women. AMA

[OliverMartins]

As the title says. Happy to answer any questions you might have.

It has to be the most boringly lazy argument ever to try to slur those objecting to abuse or exploitation of being ' pearl clutchers.'. Dear God. I'm old enough to remember similar names used by racists to those objecting to racism.

I want to thank you for doing this, it's a very different AMA, but interesting nonetheless.
May I ask if you've gone to someone's house to provide a service and anything has gone wrong?

There is a huge body of academic work on race theory and fetishisation/sexual racism. It's not a niche area. If you can't see how you working in a role that actively contributes to and promotes sexual racism negatively impacts how other black males might be viewed and/or treated, I can't help you.

A preference is just a preference - lots of people prefer to date within their own racial group or like to date people with a particular characteristic. Most people wouldn’t see that as anything but a preference. It’s sometimes going to rooted in history, which includes racism, because that’s the world we live it. I still don’t imagine many people would see it as intrinsically racist, although it could be of course.

A kink is an interest in a non-standard sexual behaviour, which could include an interest in black guys because of the mythology of them being better endowed, more sexually dominant or whatever. This kink is obviously rooted in racist history, however - while I am not at all comfortable with it - I can accept that you might be a white woman who enjoys playing this out because it pushes your buttons sexually, and not be racist, in the same way that some women enjoy being dominated in bed, knowing that it probably comes from sexist history, but without wanting to have a submissive role in the rest of your life.

I don’t mean this rudely PP, and I don’t think you should or shouldn’t agree with me or it - but this is quite basic knowledge. You must know people have preferences and some people are into all sorts of kinks??

I don't need your help - and it is quite bizarre that you think I (or indeed anybody else) would. I earn £200 plus an hour at age 25. I do hope you don't lose any sleep over it though.

Nothing serious, there have been a couple of times when expectations were not in line with what I offer. But nothing serious or dangerous

Of course I am aware of what others call ' kinks' - if you think I don't you have utterly misunderstood my arguments. (btw I explain above whilst I disagree with the term 'kink)

Despite the attempts to rebrand things as 'kinks' I don' think they become acceptable - nor do I think unacceptable things become acceptable because someone gets an orgasm out of it.

None of us are born to be sexually attracted to dominating certain races or to be strangled or beaten by men or whatever. I think these desires are shaped culturally by racism or misogyny or other influences we should not encourage. And as outlined above, I believe feeding these influences through sexual practices feeds off and into attitudes to wider others in society. And that is why I argue against it.

Anyway, I'm off now to do other stuff with my day.

I am feeling boringly lazy. And the only place I am being used or exploited is in your proselytising imagination.

When you want someone of a different race to nakedly clean your house whilst you watch?

If I wanted anyone to clean my house, naked, whilst I watched, I am already entering into an unusual power relationship with them tbh. If am more attracted to people of colour anyway, is that racist?

https://sexualhealthalliance.com/nymphomedia-blog/no-not-the-broadcasting-company-a-brief-history-of-black-mens-hypersexualization

this is a blog piece but is detailed, well written and cites sources for you to read more deeply. Perhaps it may help you understand the wider implications.

I’d love to know how these academics came to the conclusion that the op cleaning in the buff, is promoting sexual racism, because academics are never biased and guilty of pushing their own agenda are they.

I'm not sure why you think your earnings are in any way relevant to the conversation. The point being discussed was how 'race play' feeds into societal racism.

The other thing about academics is they generally can't afford my services.

Everything we do is shaped culturally though - that’s a core thing that makes us human.

I don’t whether some of us are born with sexual preferences or not, certainly it seems we are in terms of sexual orientation - or at least it’s a mix of nature and nurture. Whatever causes it, there’s some evidence that sexual preferences are pretty fixed by early adulthood.

I agree with you it would be a lot better if people didn’t have these sexual interests, but they do, so I think putting a framework in place of what is and isn’t over the line is a more useful approach than just wishing it away - as long as it’s combined with doing what we individually can to move society forward. I think approaching it from the angle you are taking simply isn’t going to change anything, sadly.

I think kink is just a catch all term for non standard sexual practices BTW, rather than a re-branding. Presumably because prior to this it was just ‘deviant’ which is a bit harsh in many cases.

I'm not sure why you think your earnings are in any way relevant to the conversation. The point being discussed was how 'race play' feeds into societal racism

Presumably what you earn does play a part in all this. And is a key motivation to earn your living this way.

It's all very well to reduce this situation to an academic analysis, which is the way this thread has gone, but in actual real life, do you think you could earn as much doing something else OP?

What is the key attraction of this job?

I don't think being "more attracted to people of colour" (for white women, as per the OP) is a benign thing. Paying for access to another person's body is gross imo, selecting that person on the basis of their race is unbelievably gross. But that is a reflection on those women, not people like the OP.

I don't think being "more attracted to people of colour" (as a white woman, as per the OP) is a benign thing.

So how to do you view white women who are attracted to men of colour?

I think there's a huge difference between being attracted to a particular race and being prepared to pay for services such as this. I generally find black men more attractive than white men...I wouldn't in a million years pay any man to clean my house naked.

Have you told your friends and family what your job is?
If so, are they approving, disapproving, neutral?

How long do you see yourself doing this kind of work, and what might you like to do afterwards?

You make upwards of £80,000 with hardly any advertising??

I think there's a huge difference between being attracted to a particular race and being prepared to pay for services such as this. I generally find black men more attractive than white men...I wouldn't in a million years pay any man to clean my house naked.

That's pretty much what I said before - once you've paid for someone to clean your house naked - there's the power dynamic right there - is it particularly anymore of an issue that you have more of a thrill from that man being a man of colour? Because that would be your sexual preference.

I think they need to have a serious think about why they are attracted mostly to "men of colour" (or black men, as per this thread). To have a strong preference for one particular race outside of your own is very often routed in stereotypes and power imbalances. But that is just my opinion.

I think they need to have a serious think about why they are attracted mostly to "men of colour" (or black men, as per this thread). To have a strong preference for one particular race outside of your own is very often routed in stereotypes and power imbalances. But that is just my opinion.

Well I'm middle aged so the ones I know are are now mostly in long term relationships, married and with children so I wouldn't dream of expecting them to have 'a serious think ' about anything. It's just them and their lives. I also live in a City where inter racial marriage has existed for many generations.

Is being in a relationship with one person the same as being "more attracted to people of colour" in general? And tbh, even in a long term relationship it can be applicable. I'm not saying it's always a racist issue, but I do think it's important for us as individuals to properly reflect on our motivations.