I'm 51, my lover is 81 - AMA

[Gerontophile]

NC for this. I know MN as a whole has views on relationships with large age gaps so thought people might be interested. Or just curious.

@Gerontophile have you dated/been attracted to older men before?

I dated older (not 30 years of an age difference) when I was younger.
Now I'm older my last few fwb/situationships have been slightly younger (10 years or so)

It’s an opinion, not a fact. 😂

on a serious note why the aggression, and yes people do give a fuck, there has been publicised relationships about elderly women with younger men and the response hasn’t been positive. However what would happen on a thread I don’t know, it is simply my opinion.

i do find the Age gap here interesting, for me I’d not wish to have sex with an octogenarian. At nearly the ops age, I’m not physically attracted to the elderly, nor am I physically attracted to men who are 20, which is 30 years in the opposite direction, and yes I find the idea quite distasteful to me personally, be they 20 or 80.

however the op does find the elderly attractive, and as they are consenting adults, then as long as they are both happy, it’s their business.

No questions but just a comment

you seem really at easy with it all and settled aware of the positives and negatives

suits both parties your hurting no one best off luck to you and enjoy

Leave it! Leave it girls.

said in Frank Butcher voice 😜

I’ve always liked a bit of Nigel Havers, he’s probably about that age & i’m same age more or less as you, so…

Reminds me of an episode of Sex and the City.

In that episode, the sex was great and everything was going well until he turned the lights on to go to the loo naked. 🍑🍑🍑

I'm not commenting on the OP's situation obviously. 😂

😁

Exactly. I am in my mid-late 50s, and I boak at the thought of getting intimate with a man of 81! 🤮 I certainly would not have touched a man of that age when I had just left my 40s like the OP! No amount of money in the world would make me shag a man of that age. I have always been attracted to men my age - (or up to 3 or 4 years older,) and men up to 10 years younger.

I can't imagine how - or why - sex would be 'amazing' with an 81 y.o. man. 🤮 (The OP claims it is. 'The best I have ever had' she said!)

I don't think these sort of comments are acceptable. Imagine if someone had made them about an older woman ?

Ahh yes Samantha wasn't it?

She had that warm post-sex glow, and then saw his saggy arse. 😄

Thanks for posting this. I find it really interesting. I'm late 40s and I've noticed that sometimes I really hit it off with men in their 80s and 90s. Conversely, the two people in my life who have or do dislike me most are also men in their 80s. I have no idea why I seems to be marmite to the octogenarian gent.

You are both happy and having lots of sex. Good luck to you x

Is there any reason you don't live together? Are you worried about being pushed into a caring role?

Is he a father figure for you then?

More posters who don't understand AMA.

its Ask Me Anything. So if people think something about their life/relationshop/job/pet is interesting they offer to answer any question that other posters want to ask, to satisfy their curiosity.

its not a difficult concept!

My dad is 81 and obviously I don't fancy him because he's my dad, but objectively he's fit, toned, well dressed and attractive and he has still got all his marbles - I could definitely see a someone of my age (50) being interested in him, if they liked an older guy.

I do wonder what the responses would be if the genders were reversed and it was a 51 year old man and an 81 year old woman.

Widespread horror I suspect. I’m sure it’s not right but I do feel quite uncomfortable with it this way round, too. 70s is one thing, but an octogenarian feels very much older somehow.

Have you considered a Heart Attack or such like during sexual activity?
Does that concern you?

Why don't you read the OP's posts?

this is MN, do you really think the thread would have got this long with it being asked.

its lazy & rude just to bundle in asking a question without at least reading the OPs posts & MN can't make that any easier.

a FWB of mine is now 74. I've known him since he was 60. He's very sexual & makes me (55) feel very sexy (despite not being anymore). He does use a viagra equivalent but 💁🏻‍♀️it just makes things last longer.

Good luck for your situation

@needchocolatecookies The resemblance is not obvious, no!

@Jook
@Gerontophile

why?

my mum had her entire set of teeth removed & dentures. Age 19.

I know people in their 20s uowards who have 'fake teeth'

its not like they sit there flipping them in & out & put them in a glass overnight!!

I can honestly say it's never occurred to me...it might now, though!!

Honestly? I haven't felt the need to analyse that question and for that reason I'm not going to say 'no of course not!'. But if there is an element of that, I don't think it matters at my stage in life. He's very different from my dad, though.

@Walking2024now24days That is a fair point well made. Though I did once know a (much younger) man who did the flipping in and out thing and it was very disconcerting!

My father is a very fit 80 year old. I would not be remotely surprised if a 50 year old woman found him attractive. He's got a lot going for him.
Looks about 65. Fit as a fiddle. In great shape. Well off. Funny.

I hope you're very happy together.