My daughter is transgender- ask me anything

[EvelynTent]

Please be kind!

Your daughter is a female who is trying to fit in.
She not non binary or bisexual.
She's going along with this nonsense because she's surrounded by it.

No signs of being trans when younger that I could see - but definitely uncomfortable in herself. Yes I suspect autism is a factor. Wider family have been loving and accepting too. Wide range of views on the issue - younger ones are more 'woke' but we all accept each other and would avoid saying anything hurtful in front of her

This is often a trait of autism. Your child desperately needs help with autism. Your child at the end of the day but autism is serious and switching gender won’t alleviate most autistic challenges.

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/autism-and-sex/

I understand that people have different views and say that affirmative counselling is wrong. The counsellor we chose was neutral rather than affirming - remember my daughter was an adult at the time- it was more a case of helping her make her own decision

Your daughter is a son.

They weren't neutral if they told you your son is a woman after one appointment.

FFS. This makes me so angry for your child OP, it's so sad that our vulnerable YP are being sold lies like this.

We all know human's can't change sex. If OPs son actually think's they are a woman then that is a mental disorder.

I'm not true that's true anymore @lifeturnsonadime.
For the past few years 'we' have been educating youngsters on the importance of gender and that you literally are the gender you identify as, which may or may not match your sexed body.

I think it's all nonsense of course, but I'm an oldie unlike OP's DC.

My daughter has had plenty of help for her autism. It will never be 'cured' we all have to live with it. I wouldn't wish being transgender on anyone, but I can't deny that acceptance has made her far happier and helped her socially more than anything else ever has.

when he grows up, he will look back on this time in his life and CRINGE

Maybe, time will tell. But I know her very well and I don't think that will happen

I'm sorry but it IS a mental disorder.

The world has gone mad.

Men who say they are women and wear women's clothes are still men. Mostly they are abusive men because they dgaf about the boundaries they trample on in women's single sex spaces and sports.

There is only one way to be a woman and that is being an human female that has survived to adult hood. Anything else is complete nonsense. I don't believe in gender. I think that gender harms women and girls. I think that genderism promotes the rights of men and is akin to men's rights activism in the way that it harms females.

If you say your child “passes” for a female, do they take cross sex hormones which are known for affecting fertility and sexual function. Are you happy that this part of their life will be missing?

How did I react when she came out? I was shocked, very sad and felt grief for my 'little boy'. I was also very sad to find out that she had been convinced that I would disown her and had been fearful of that for years, largely because of the hostility of the discussion about transgender and sex-based rights. I told her immediately that we will always love her no matter what and we took it from there

Did your DC always want to be a girl from a young child OP, or was it something that was felt or decided on only in later adolescence?
I realise it came as a shock so I'm guessing it wasn't obvious when younger, but has your DC ever opened up about when they started identifying as a girl/woman?

Thanks for your insight but I wasn’t asking for your opinion, I will answer anyway,
I never said I ‘agreed’ with her non/binary status but if that’s how she wishes to present, and as a 21 year old I have to respect that as long as there’s no meditator surgery involved - then there would be serious discussions.
We are very close and I would hate her gender to come between us, even if I think it’s a nonsense.
tbh when she came out she didn’t really know trans people but has got into
more of that social group now (but also had regular straight friends too!!).
As far as sexuality is concerned I don’t give a toss if bi/straight/gay.

How do you present as non binary?

What I would say is they most transgender people are not abusive. It's the extremists we hear about and some of them are indeed abusive and unreasonable in wanting to take part in women's sports etc. However, I've also discovered that lots of people are also abusive towards transgender people and many people are abusive to me simply for having a transgender child and attempting a nuanced discussion. Unfortunately many people are abusive to people who don't share their views.

insert doing the opposite of sexist stereotypes here such as short hair on a girl or eyeshadow on a boy

It’s sad really. We had far more personal expression with limited labels in the early 2000s and prior.

She says now she always wanted to be a girl but I didn't notice any sense of discomfort from her until puberty. I'm not happy about the medical treatment and its implications but I can see for myself that it's had a positive impact too and I understand her decision

@lifeturnsonadime
My point is that, we are now in a situation as a society where we are educating kids in this ideology, where they are presented with it as 'truth' from multiple sources.

In these circumstances do you really need to be mentally disordered to buy into what you're been taught?

I don't believe she is female but I know she feels like 'she' so I respect that.
What does it mean to feel like 'she' though? I would take a punt that all the women on this thread have very different experiences of 'feeling like she'.

Goatymum glad your DD isn't looking at surgery but this might happen at some point as radical mastectomies for Non- binary females is becoming a thing amongst my DN's cohort so just keep your eye out for it.

Well we shouldn't be.

It's child abuse to tell children things that are unscientific and harmful to children and women.

Yes we all feel different about being a 'she' but I've never felt any sense of a problem with that so I don't know how it feels for her. I don't think I will ever understand it to be honest, but I can see that it is real for her