My daughter is transgender- ask me anything

[EvelynTent]

Please be kind!

"Humanity of transgender people"?
You mean mean men riding roughshod over women, as fucking usual.

I understand how proud you are, makes sense. But surely you agree that with autism a high IQ can be fairly common but other aspects such as emotional intelligence, executive function, emotional regulation etc can be lacking which is why autistic people are often vulnerable to this ideology.

Otherwise why would Autism require a diagnosis and often a lot of help throughout one’s life if it’s just a high IQ?

Now people are just too scared to speak out.
Are you OK with your son scaring women?
You seem to be.

Yes my two are also that bright as assessed by Educational Pscyhologists but they are STILL vulnerable. My son has applied to Oxford University but I stil worry he is vulnerable to social contagion. They are also autistic. I find it astonishing that you think bright people are somehow immune to brainwashing?

Your view is that your son has more rights than my daughter what ever way you look at it. It's sexist. Your child is a male and he does not have more rights than my female child.

And judging from some other comments the ones who disagree with the golden child entering women’s spaces are hostile due to anti trans agenda, bigoted views etc. As someone else said, silence is not consent.

No wonder people are scared into submission. It’s the mens rights activists wet dream all this, especially when other women are helping their male family or friends invade our spaces.

@TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening

She has never scared anyone as far as I can tell. I would not be OK with her doing so. She has been bullied and abused and very scared herself due to being autistic and she really tries to go about her life staying out of people's way

And coming back to the 'he's in the top 2% of intelligence'.

Does he believe he is a woman? I mean, that's so unscientific? A lot of intelligent people do claim to believe this but can't explain how and why they are a woman without referring to sexist stereotypes.

And has he emotional intelligence? Does he care about the impact on women or does he believe that males who say that they are women should be able to do what they want no matter what the impact is on females?

Does he realise that he is part of an ideology that is harming women? What's his view on that?

Have you asked the women or are you just presuming?

Could it be possible you are blindsided by the discomfort of other women because they’re your child and you deem them ‘safe’?

If one woman (just one) said ‘I’m not comfortable’ would you escort your child out of that space?

He'd scare me, and many other women by being in female spaces.
Why does he, and you, think that's OK?
It isn't.

Is he at university, I would imagine so given his intelligence?

Does he see the posters in this article in the toilets at his university?

Does he think that might be why women don't speak out.

https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/plymouth-news/university-plymouth-criticised-over-trans-6988584

@lifeturnsonadime

She knows she is biologically male but that she ca only feel comfortable presenting in the opposite gender. Your opinion, if I understand you correctly, is that she must be stupid because she doesn't share your gender-critical views. Biology is a scientific fact, gender a social construct. IQ tests are also scientific.

You think I'm a terrible parent for accepting my child as she is. The only alternative would be to threaten, coerce or even disown her - I think that is what would be terrible parenting. We are different people but we're both adults with a right to our views.

My point is, we probably share much more than we differ in terms of our concern for women's rights and safety. But we'll never agree on everything so we need to aim for a respectful discussion and agreement on the best way to live in the same society.

Women don't confront men in female spaces because we are scared.
You might think your son is accepted because no one said anything, but really, they are getting the hell out of their, away from the man.
We don't complain because we known exactly what happens.
Keep your male child out of female spaces.

@lifeturnsonadime
Fundamentalism, in my view, is always a bad thing. The transgender 'lobby' should never try to bully worm or prevent them from speaking out. In turn, women should treat transgender people with compassion and courtesy. Those would be my thoughts.

Sorry typo, women not worm!

Why is it always women who should roll
over? Women aren’t a shield for the ‘others’ in the male category.

How about men need to be kind and compassionate and accept your son as a different kind of male in their space?

Edit: and the trans lobby have done nothing but bully women into submission as any men’s rights group would.

@EvelynTent
She knows she is biologically male but that she ca only feel comfortable presenting in the opposite gender. Your opinion, if I understand you correctly, is that she must be stupid because she doesn't share your gender-critical views. Biology is a scientific fact, gender a social construct. IQ tests are also scientific.

No I haven't said your child is not intelligent I have said that I think he has been brainwashed. I have said that he is particularly vulerable to brainwashing because he is autistic. I have some knowledge of this because I parent 2 highly intelligent but vulnerable autistic teenagers, the eldest is 17 and only a few months away from the age your child was when you affirmed him as a woman.

I have also said that he doesn't care about women's rights because if he did he would NEVER use the women's toilets.

You think I'm a terrible parent for accepting my child as she is. The only alternative would be to threaten, coerce or even disown her - I think that is what would be terrible parenting. We are different people but we're both adults with a right to our views.

You could accept your son's wish to present as a woman without lying to him that you think he is one. You don't have to threaten, coerce or disown. All you have to do is tell the truth and not go down the affirmation route. I think you have been brainwashed too as you don't appear to see how horrific it is that your son has decided that this life is worth losing his sexual activity over. I am astonished you think that because he is intelligent he is not vulnerable.

My point is, we probably share much more than we differ in terms of our concern for women's rights and safety. But we'll never agree on everything so we need to aim for a respectful discussion and agreement on the best way to live in the same society.

No we won't ever agree because you think your son has more rights than my daughter. You don't care that females are displaced ultimately because you think it is OK for him to use single sex toilets.

@TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening
As I said, I understand the concern about safe spaces for women. I accept that we might differ on exactly what we would define as a safe space. I would also say that whilst you clearly have one perspective, I have another and I am also a woman so you aren't speaking for all of us

Playing devils advocate, you spoke for all of us when you said your child doesn’t make women uncomfortable in single sex spaces.

I feel nothing but compassion for your vulnerable son.

He's been lied to by everyone including you.

But my compassion ends there. He is not a woman and he has no place in women's single sex spaces. Him entering those without consent is fundamentalism. He is saying he is more important than females. It is this that directly leads to rapists in women's prisons and men competing as women in sport.

If he would stay out of women's spaces and fight with us against the sexism of trangenderism I'd be his biggest ally.

@IdleAnimations

You're right. I apologise

Yet you seem to speak for all women and how they supposedly feel when you said - My daughter would share your concern. I don't think a situation where any of these people would even notice, let alone be made uncomfortable, if my daughter was around.

It's great you want to support your son, but at the end of the day you are affirming a lie, which has negative consequences on women. That isn't great parenting.

@AccidentallyWesAnderson

I can't and don't speak for all women. Apologies for that. We have different opinions about parenting- I believe I have as much right to mine as you to yours.

Not to speak for all but I think tensions run very high on this, especially for those of us with female children.

Whether we like it or not we have to subtly teach them (our daughters) how to navigate the world knowing what can happen to girls and women at the hands of men. Femicide, rape, assault crimes are still a huge issue and affect the female sex. Gender feels don’t take away that males have a physical advantage over females. Most mothers will unfortunately be subtly teaching their daughters these issues early on.

In another breath, we’re then expected to tell them to not trust their eyes when an obvious male is in their space because he feels he’s a female (even with no surgery), he can take their trophies, is speaking on behalf of their experience of being female, is calling them things like birthers and bleeders so he doesn’t get upset over the biological reality of male vs female. Most women will instinctively try not to upset a male because quite simply, the male is bigger and could be dangerous.

The two thinking streams don’t marry up without females ignoring their most basic instinct of preserving their own safety against males.

Women are continuously told to be compassionate - no. I’m tired of being kind when males are allowed to continue as normal as they’re foistering their sexual deviants, mentally ill, confused or often gay males on us and the spaces we fought hard for because they can’t control their anger. This leaves the door wide open for dangerous men to have dominance over women. This is a mens issue not a womens issue.

Ask these people who believe a woman is a feeling what a woman is. They can’t without resorting to sexist stereotypes such as dresses, lipstick and weird cliches of being overly emotional/sensitive. It’s insulting.

I've just come back to this thread and seen my first message has been deleted. There was absolutely nothing on that other than using his actual sex pronouns. What kind of a state have we got ourselves in to over this where people are not allowed to believe sex is immutable? How can we have a discussion over what absolutely is a conflict if one side is deleted for presenting their views?