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AMA

My daughter is transgender- ask me anything

253 replies

EvelynTent · 13/11/2023 13:54

Please be kind!

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HelpMebeok · 10/12/2023 19:33

My question is how do you accept it? My dd is 18 and wants to be male. I can't do the male pronouns and she will never be male to me. It makes me sad that I can't accept it but I think it's part of her autism/anxiety/need to be someone else. I don't think she would have decided to be trans 10 years ago. I see it in all of the ASD kids in her friendship group. I know it's should just say I accept it to make her happy but I just feel I was being fake

EvelynTent · 10/12/2023 20:57

@HelpMebeok

It's not easy and using the right pronouns is very difficult at first but it does get easier with time. It's been easier to come to terms with as it's become clearer that she is happier - I think it would be much harder if it didn't have a positive impact on her. It was also important that she went through thorough psychiatric evaluation and objective counselling. I also found some groups for parents of transgender adults and that's been very useful to talk through the feelings of bereavement for the loss of the 'original' child and also as a safe space to talk through worries and concerns without being attacked for either supporting or finding it difficult to support your child. Ultimately, I've always felt able to love my children for who they are not who I'd like them to be. In the early days, I just pretended to go along with things and over time, that became a more genuine acceptance. I'd be happy to give you some links to groups or talk at more length if you'd like.

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HelpMebeok · 10/12/2023 21:24

I've sent you a pm

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