Hello, I'm a TRA - ask me anything

[AlphaTransWoman]

Good evening,

I'm a transgender rights advocate. I say "advocate" rather than "activist" because I believe in constructive debate and consensus building rather than the hostile, shouty kind of activism that gets us nowhere.

I am here because I am genuinely interested in seeing if there is some kind of compromise that can be reached between pro trans and gender critical views. Obviously this is difficult because we may disagree about something pretty fundamental. I feel passionately that trans women are women (at least in the psychological and social sense), so there's an obvious divide if you do not.

The question is, can we find ways to co-exist and find an acceptable way forward on some of the difficult issues that arise around trans acceptance? So I'm happy to have a go answering anything you care to ask in good faith. Who knows, we might even make some progress.

It's the same face looking back at you. How does it seem different if you tell yourself it's a woman's face, not a man's?

That's crap. Men can smile when they look in a mirror. You say you live life as a woman so tell us. What are doing as a woman that you couldn't do as a man.

So it wasn't physically possible for you to smile beforehand?

I'm not suggesting that women are somehow "inferior" - just different to men. And surely diversity is something we can celebrate?

Diversity exists within sex groups as well

It's hard to smile if you are a woman but you look like an ugly, unattractive man.

So does telling yourself you're a woman physically change your appearance?!

I think I'll start telling myself I'm a beautiful, blonde 21 year old. I can't wait to look in a mirror and see the goddess I really am staring back at me!

Religion is mainly defined by your belief system.

Being a woman or man has nothing to do with that. It is just about your body.

It's like someone claiming to be black because they move to Harlem and listen to rap music and join a baptist church.

women are more likely to to be kind and take a supporting role.

As in put their needs to one side and prioritise helping a man smile at his own reflection

😆

OP, I think you’re brave to do this.

Can you try again to explain what it is you think you share with all other women that you don’t share with any men?

So far, I’ve seen societal expectations re how you dress - but most women I know wear jeans, tee shirt & trainers, as do most men; I’ve seen that you think women are kind and caring, but that applies to most of the men I know too; and I’ve seen that women are less competitive - I invite you to visit any girls’ sports club to see the level of competitiveness exhibited by most of the girls there. Maybe there’s something I’m not understanding?

Why would you start a thread to tell Gender Critical woman that they should embrace gender stereotypes. I mean, it's right there in the name.

We are called GC because we reject gender stereotyping. You are just listing the ways in which a man assigns a gender role to a woman and expects her to do it

be kind and take a supporting role

You wonder why we are critical of that or did you just not know what GC meant?

Let me give you an analogy. Suppose you were brought up in a strict religious group, some kind of cult, say. As an adult you decided to adopt a different faith, or none at all. But people around you keep insisting that you were still a member of that cult and followed it's beliefs, even though you constantly insist to everyone this is no longer the case.

So you joined another religion and want the rest of the world to go along with it even if they don't share your belief?

I understand OP that you think you are a woman, but you know (and are saddened by the fact) you do not present as a woman. I asked you in a previous post: why should my seven year old daughter have to join you at the sinks after using the toilet in the women's? I know that I don't want to see a man in the women's toilets and I am an adult. I'm pretty sure DD would be completely freaked out and who could blame her.

Please answer.

Do you have a child? Do you have a female child? Can you identify the issues?

I have a lot of questions actually.

As a TRA are you campaigning for third spaces which you said you are in favour of? If so, many women would support this but many TRAs would say it's transphobic.

Do you really think that people like Eddie Izzard are actually female one day and male the next, depending on whether they are getting work or wearing pink to use the female toilets?

Do you really think that people born male should win awards for women?

So not only do you invade women's spaces, you abuse disabled facilities. Nice. I suppose you'll claim you identify as disabled?

As I said, I don't like using the ladies toilets and would always use the accessible one if available.

Having said that, I can't imagine why the sight of me, fully clothed, washing my hands is particularly offensive.

In the gents, on the other hand, men are standing there holding their penises using the urinals. Do you honestly think I'm safe walking in on them wearing a dress?

Do you honestly think I'm safe walking in on them wearing a dress?

We don’t care. That’s not our problem.

Do you think we feel safe when we walk into a single sex space and see you?

See - I can be as unempathetic, uncaring, unsupportive and unkind as the next man.

I use the accessible toilets whenever I can in order to avoid causing upset or offence to other women. Is that a bad thing?

Absolutely, yes.

Awards dedicated to women, along with all-women shortlists and quotas for women on corporate boards, exist because women tend to have low self-esteem and doubt their own abilities. They therefore lack the confidence to compete with men on a level playing field. Hence the theory (right or wrong) that additional assistance for women helps to achieve a more equal outcome.

This applies to trans women just as much as it does to other women. Unlike sport this is not about physical strength but gendered differences in personality.

God. Your offensiveness knows no bounds.

Awards dedicated to women, along with all-women shortlists and quotas for women on corporate boards, exist because women tend to have low self-esteem and doubt their own abilities.

Wrong again. They exist because women have been denied opportunities because of their sex, not because they have shy, 'girly' feelings.

I can't imagine why the sight of me, fully clothed, washing my hands is particularly offensive.

It's not offensive, it's terrifying. We don't know your intentions. All we know is that you are male, bigger, stronger and in a place that is supposed to be reserved for women because it's isolated and they are vulnerable.

You are clearly demonstrating that you actually have no idea of what it's like to live life as a woman.

Um I think you’re wrong re awards etc - it’s not about women’s lack of confidence
awards - generally about recognising female disadvantage, particularly growing up. Not something you had to deal with
women-only shortlists - this is often about making sure that the organisation as a whole includes some female Points of view - both experience of how society treats women, and the physical reality. Again, not something you can offer? Obviously you could represent transwomen

They exist because of sexism.

You are definitely on the wind up.