Hello, I'm a TRA - ask me anything

[AlphaTransWoman]

Good evening,

I'm a transgender rights advocate. I say "advocate" rather than "activist" because I believe in constructive debate and consensus building rather than the hostile, shouty kind of activism that gets us nowhere.

I am here because I am genuinely interested in seeing if there is some kind of compromise that can be reached between pro trans and gender critical views. Obviously this is difficult because we may disagree about something pretty fundamental. I feel passionately that trans women are women (at least in the psychological and social sense), so there's an obvious divide if you do not.

The question is, can we find ways to co-exist and find an acceptable way forward on some of the difficult issues that arise around trans acceptance? So I'm happy to have a go answering anything you care to ask in good faith. Who knows, we might even make some progress.

Exactly. There's always someone trying to divert 'trans' discussions into unnecessary genetics lectures and/or reduce the argument to reproductive functionality.

So here I am, being diverted. Doing this because we're in AMA and some readers might not have seen this before.

A Y chromosome makes a human male. The sole exception is a male born with complete androgen insensitivity (CAIS) or Swyer syndrome, who has a female body plan and was raised as a girl. Some campaigners would say they are also 'he' and I respect their reasons ... though people with Swyer's can sometimes gestate babies with a bit of medical help.

I feel a bit sorry for Caster Semanya but s/he did in fact know s/he had a Y chromosome and testicular tissue, so must have been aware of the unfair advantage it conferred.

I'm an example of an XX woman (yes, tested!) whose female reproductive system didn't work properly. This obviously doesn't make me male.
Women can have three or more Xs to no significant ill effect, just as men can have extra Ys. Most never find out.
Men with extra Xs (eg Klinefelter's: XXY) do suffer developmental defects. They can generally produce viable sperm and don't produce eggs.
A single X brings health problems and infertility. A single Y is incompatible with life.
Very, very rarely someone is born with mosaic sex chromosomes: some parts are female and some male. Even more rarely, they can have kids.
As rarely as that, a woman who absorbed a female twin can have one ovary that is not genetically 'hers' and create children who are her genetic nieces/nephews.

Life really is fascinating and weird 😂 DSDs include having two sets of functional reproductive organs - female or male, never both - or none at all. Quite a lot of babies are born with unfinished or malformed sex organs; these are the ones 'trans' activists like to wave around as proof that human sex isn't either/or. They are wrong: those children are female or male, with a developmental defect akin to cleft palate or hole in the heart.

End of summary!

A very good question.

What I'm looking for is to build something of an alliance between trans women and other women around common goals, the main one being a society where everyone can thrive without being discriminated against on the basis of their gender whether understood in physical or mental terms.

As I have said many times in this thread, I am interested in keeping all women, including trans women, safe from men. For example, I don't care if I can't use the women's toilets so long as there is a toilet I can use in safety and with dignity. Ditto changing rooms, hospital wards etc.

In fact, I would much prefer third spaces to being able to share spaces with other women, because I am a woman and I care about how other women feel. I can't prove that I'm a woman inside so my male body is going to be an issue. I get that, completely.

I think we might actually be on the same side here, or at least have some interests in common. Do you agree?

I think its more helpful to talk in terms of mental and physical sex, the mental side of it being more important to me. In the vast majority of cases female minds are found in female bodies and vice versa, but sometimes (eg in my case) there's a mismatch.

What on earth is a 'female mind'?! And more specifically, can you define what you mean by a female mind using anything other than outdated sex-based stereotypes?

I think we might actually be on the same side here, or at least have some interests in common.

I think we are on the same side regarding third spaces, but that's probably about it tbh. And since very many transwomen seem not to be at all keen on the idea of third spaces (for obvious reasons), I'm not sure that gets us anywhere.

What I'm looking for is to build something of an alliance between trans women and other women around common goals, the main one being a society where everyone can thrive without being discriminated against on the basis of their gender whether understood in physical or mental terms.

Gender is irrelevant to me.

Sex matters.

Women are discriminated based on their sex.

Gender is meaningless, other than as a set of harmful, sexist, regressive stereotypes.

You want everyone to thrive - women and transwomen?

Eliminate gender.

In the vast majority of cases female minds are found in female bodies and vice versa, but sometimes (eg in my case) there's a mismatch.

How do you know that 'female minds are found in female bodies' and what criteria did you use when setting out to ascertain this?

I think you're profoundly incorrect on this. You're basing your whole worldview, and self view on this, and you are really really vague about what traits you actually mean and how they are measured, yet it underpins everything you claim.
This does suggest to me you've sort of... just decided it?

Are there any other physical factors you believe a human can have that have a nearly one-to-one correlation with psychological traits? (Star signs is the obvious one - DOB might not be an actual physical factor but it is an objective data point about a person).

Have you been attacked in the men’s toilet?

Do you think you are disabled or just think disabled peoples facilities are fair game?

What I'm looking for is to build something of an alliance between trans women and other women around common goals

What sort of an alliance are you looking to build where trans identifying men (aka men) and women share common goals?

If you could also explain what you have in common with my female body and mind I’d be very interested.

@AlphaTransWoman thank you for answering my question about funding for your hair removal. I'm pleased for you that you can afford it. Sadly I (as a woman) cannot. PCOS has generously allowed me to grow a thick dark beard.

Are you aware that under current NHS rules I cannot get facial hair removal funded. But a transwoman can? Do you think that is fair?

I think it's posts like these where the OP sticks his fingers in his ears and sings la la la.

He's all about feeling like a woman in his mind, and not remotely about the actual physical lived experience of being one.

He obviously doesn't have that because he's a trans woman not a biological woman, but it doesn't fit with his assertion that he is really a woman so ignores it.

With respect, I'm not going to answer your question if you insist on using terminology for transgender women which you know I am going to find offensive. Why do you feel the need to describe us in this manner?

@Zzizzisnotzeproblem I never get this logic.

Man - I feel unsafe in men's toilets because I have a female brain
Women - Oh no, what happened
Man - Nothing but they might attack me
Women - What can you do about it
Man - I can use your toilets
Women - Our toilets are for women
Man - Yes but I'm wearing a dress so I am a woman
Women - You want to allow men to use women's toilets if they wear a dress?
Man - Well, they don't have to wear a dress to be a woman
Woman - How will they be a woman then?
Man - They will have a female brain
Woman - So you want to let men with female brains in our toilets too?
Man - Yes because we need to be safe from the men with male brains
Woman - How will we know which men have female brains and which ones have male brains
Man - You won't know, there is no way to tell
Woman - So we have to let them all in
Man - Yes
Woman - That would make women feel unsafe in female toilets.
Man - Yes. But let's do it anyway

I cannot refer to you as a woman because you’re a man. If you wish me to use the term trans woman in order for you to be able to respond then I will do so. Now, with respect in return, can you answer my questions?

What I'm looking for is to build something of an alliance between trans women and other women around common goals, the main one being a society where everyone can thrive without being discriminated against on the basis of their gender whether understood in physical or mental terms.

Are you saying that men don't want a society where everyone can thrive without being discriminated against?

Because I can tell you that 90% of the men I know want that society. So why do you want to exclude men from this alliance?

Personally, I think having as many men on board as possible when trying to change discriminatory behaviour shows all the people who do display it that there's another way for all people to behave.

You insist on repeatedly using descriptions of women which you know we find offensive and stereotypical and regressive. Why do you feel the need to continue describing us in this manner?

Also OP please could you list the other common goals that are shared between women and transwomen and that need an alliance because men don't share them.

Woman - How will we know which men have female brains and which ones have male brains
Man - You won't know, there is no way to tell
Woman - So we have to let them all in
Man - Yes

Taking this on board, @AlphaTransWoman, such a policy allows any predatory male to enter nominally female-only places unchallenged.

That not only exposes women to increased danger, but 'trans women' as well. We would all be at risk from predatory men because decent men would stay out of female spaces. Males who call themselves women AND male predators abusing the concession would be the only males there.

This would also hold in 'third spaces'. You can no more police the trans-ness of strangers than any woman can.

Your problem isn't female acceptance, it's dangerous men. Women can do nothing to help you with that.

This is a really good point about third spaces. You are advocating for them OP, so how are you going to know whether the people that are in them are transwomen or men dressed as transwomen in order to do you harm?

If you fear harm in a male toilet, why wouldn't you fear it in a trans toilet?

What I'm looking for is to build something of an alliance between trans women and other women around common goals, the main one being a society where everyone can thrive without being discriminated against on the basis of their gender whether understood in physical or mental terms.

Women are not discriminated against because of gender so that's not a common goal.

Women are discriminated against because of sex so that's also not a common goal.

Can you name a common goal?

As I have said many times in this thread, I am interested in keeping all women, including trans women, safe from men. For example, I don't care if I can't use the women's toilets so long as there is a toilet I can use in safety and with dignity. Ditto changing rooms, hospital wards etc.

and if there isn't one you can use? you use the women's? pack that in. I know you don't like this, OP, but you are not a woman. You are at most a trans woman and that is not the same thing.

You've done an AMA and selectively answered very few questions but repeated outdated and offensive stereotypes. Well. Done.

You've said the reason women have their own prizes (in such like as book awards etc.) is because we lack self confidence.

That's one example of an offensive thing you've said about women, and also highlights how little you know about the lived experience of women.

Why is this always a one way street?

Maybe OP is shocked to realise we do have confidence and self esteem after all!

Excellent point.

I'm not sure I agree. Someone wishing to discriminate against women might well discriminate against trans women. They might not know (or care) whether a woman is transgender. For example, say I apply for a job and a sexist recruiter rejects my CV because I have female sounding forenames.

Or they might dislike anyone presenting as female. In fact, some misogynists might particularly hate trans women as they could perceive us as "traitors" for rejecting the idea of being male.

So I think the idea that sex discrimination only hurts female bodied people would be an error.

You’ve been repeatedly offensive with us, we’ve explained why to try to help you. We’re still engaging.

Again, this ^^ is you behaving in gender (not sex) normative ways (male).