I am asexual - AMA!

[YouAreNotBatman]

Hello!👋🏻
Feel free to ask me questions.

I don’t want sex with anyone.

And I wouldn’t use word ’enjoy’, but if and when my libido comes knocking I take care of it.
But I don’t think about sex, or have feeling around it.

But you just said you have a sex drive. So clearly you do have feeling around it. This thread is quite confusing.

No.
I couldn’t do it.
Too repulsed.

Some asexuals do want a partner.
When I was younger I really wanted a companion, someone to share a life with.

But not having sex with them sadly was a deal-breaker.
It was horrible time because ai couldn’t understand why.

Now? I still kind of do, maybe, but I don’t know if I would know how to be in one, and the thought of it kind of scares me.

What do you think about whilst masturbating?

PLEASE, Yes!!!

I just want to say, reading your other comment about meeting other ace, sounds 👌🏼

So if you're going solo, do you think about sex when you're doing that? Or what arouses you?

No, I just go where physically feels okey.
Lidido makes itself known, that’s the only thing that arouses anything.

How can you have a sex drive and be asexual? The a denotes "without".

They are different thing.
Is straight person with high libido more straigh than straight person with low/ no libido.
Sex drive doesn’t tell sexual atttaction/orientation.

Oh I absolutely do enjoy being with with non-asexual close friends and doing all those nice things. It's just that it would be nice to meet some asexual people like myself as well. I don't feel a void in my life or anything, but it would be nice to be in the company of other aces now and then...just to connect with people who see the world through my eyes, so to speak, and whose lives do not include sexual relationships.

Kind of like meeting up with a group of fellow vegetarians now and then and enjoying a nice vegetarian meal together, I suppose? Dining with non-veg friends is fun too, but there's something a bit different about sharing a meal or cooking with fellow lifelong vegetarians who focus solely on veggie dishes in the way I do.

Just out of interest, have you had a thorough hormone test. I read quite an interesting thing the other day?

''@Sharktopus · Today 07:30
Do you feel better now that you've found a label to show how special you are?''

Do you feel better after you posted that nasty little comment?

If you are not interested in the topic, scroll on.

The OP is sharing their story and discussing it with people who actually want to engage in conversation.

No need to react in this way.

Interesting thread OP, thank you.

Have you had a romantic relationship before? Does being ace have an impact on the rest of your sexuality - not sure what the term would be but for example a straight woman would only want to have sex with men, because you don’t want to have sex with anyone does that mean you’re open to dating either gender? So I suppose do you almost have a second sexuality for romantic attraction?

I haven’t.

Hormones? As in libido, right?
I’ve never had any problems with it.

''@Stepuptowardsinfinity · Today 07:36
For many years I felt no sexual attraction to anyone though I had a sex drive. If the label had been around then I suppose I could have defined myself as asexual. The reality was that I was so deeply traumatised from my childhood that I didn't feel safe enough to be attracted to anyone. I worked through it and finally in middle age felt sexual attraction.''

That has been my experience too to a degree.

I hated physical contact for most of my life and had low self-esteem/poor body image because of childhood trauma.

I do feel attraction, have fantasies and enjoy masturbation :) so I know that being asexual would probably not describe me.

But I would shut down and having sex was always painful most of the time.

There is also the fact that I struggled to find decent men to enjoy sex with.
The few experiences I had were disappointing. Maybe it is me and my body/mind that are causing this, maybe it is the fact that so many guy are just selfish and porn-obsessed and had no interest in me as a person.

Now I much prefer being single unfortunately because of that. It makes me sad I must say that I will never have a fulfilling relationship but I just did not want to continue to put myself through the heartache.

No, I have not.
Never met anyone who would have been okey with no sex (with me at least).

Yes, It is indees romantic attraction.
I’m bi-romantic.
But now too afraid of any relationship 😅

And some asexuals don’t feel romantic attraction, they are called aromantic.

You’re young OP!

In any event.. even 86, couldn’t rule it out

This is a label I simply don’t believe in I’m afraid.

Your oestrogen and progesterone. I know most people already know this. But they are very finally balanced in the body and play a vitally important role and I'm not saying you need to be fixed, but it may be indiciitve that there may be an imbalance, there that could have health implications (such as week bones, for example)

I'm sorry if you thought my comment was nasty, Greenfairydust, but I was just trying to make the point that that all this identity-labelling stuff is essentially solipsistic navel-gazing.

Millions of people throughout history have felt that sex isn't the be-all and end-all of life and have lived perfectly happy and valuable lives without feeling the need for a label so they can hitch themselves onto a fashionable bandwagon.

Why do you assume anyone is even remotely interested?

why would you post something this catty on a thread that’s now well into its third page and on which people have asked lots of questions? Clearly people ARE interested. If you aren’t, don’t reply.

Bloody hell, it's label salad. Asexual, bi-romantic, aromantic, something beginning with o, demi something. Why do people need to label every little personality trait into something. First world nonsense.

Sorry for all the typos

Interesting! Thanks for answering OP

Wow, this is a quite enlightening thread - mainly in that I didn’t realise there was so much hatred towards Asexuals!

I see loads of threads of AMA started about things I don't care about, I manage to scroll passed without feeling the need to berate the OP for daring to start a thread that doesn't interest me personally!

My friend lost all interest in sex. After a couple of years, he had his hormones checked, turned out he had very low testosterone. Medication soon sorted it out. It’s a real thing,

I assume people comment because it's ridiculous. It's a ridiculous, nonsensical label. It's ridiculous to advertise your label to random people on the internet. The more explanation is given, the more ridiculous it seems. So people are commenting because of the ridiculousness of it all - not the OP, per se, but what the OP represents in terms of how muddled and confused our whole culture is at the moment. I think that's fair enough.

I also think it's insulting to gay and lesbian people to call not wanting to have sex with people a 'sexual orientation'. It's not. And you're definitely not oppressed, maltreated, discriminated against or hated for the fact that you don't want a sexual relationship.

Live your life however you want, OP. But I suspect you'd be happier if you just accepted yourself and others without the need for labelling everyone and pretending to be oppressed.