I am asexual - AMA!

[YouAreNotBatman]

Hello!👋🏻
Feel free to ask me questions.

No, I’m not.

I hope that comes across kindly.
You’re all good! 😊

I am aware there are asexual who have and want sex, I do not understand them.
And I don’t like how they have taken over asexual spaces and make it sound most of us can and should have sex.
I think they do more harm than good.

Interesting. I am aware of men who say they are women. I do not understand them. I don't like how they've taken over women's spaces and make it sound like "women" means anyone who wants to label themselves as a woman.
I think they do more harm than good.

Can I ask, what are asexual spaces? What do these look like? I've never heard of an "asexual space".

I also see that in a previous post you said that it's a good thing asexuality is under the LGBT umbrella as it's about sexual attraction (or lack of). How does this work for the T? Transgenderism isn't a sexuality.

I'm just going to go backto this issue of the word 'fixed' - I think the original post did not mean it as 'something to fix', it meant 'unchanging'.

Thats i guess because many of us have had periods of time feeling repulsed by sex but found that it was more about our health, situation, partner or relationship than an absolutely fixed part of ourselves.

I do, thank you very much.

I love being this special.
It’s truly an honor to get to share this with you.

I personally haven't seen this topic addressed before in AMA, and presumably others are in the same position. Just don't read it or hide the thread if it isn't of interest to you.

I find this post very interesting. Do you want asexual meet-up events basically where people aren't bringing their sexuality into the conversation? I imagine if I were asexual I wouldn't want to be lumped under an umbrella term that is definitionally about who has sex with whom (barring the T), and I'd hope to attend events catered for friendship/companionship without people turning up with some new label that basically amounts to still wanting a sexual relationship.

Why do you think they wouldn't be?

For many years I felt no sexual attraction to anyone though I had a sex drive. If the label had been around then I suppose I could have defined myself as asexual. The reality was that I was so deeply traumatised from my childhood that I didn't feel safe enough to be attracted to anyone. I worked through it and finally in middle age felt sexual attraction.

What do you think the role of trauma is? Is it something that asexuals consider, bearing in mind the trauma might be so repressed that you don't know it's there.

Also, do you have any sex drive at all? Even solo?

Hello there!

No, I don’t know any other aces.
No meet up’s in my small country.
And these days I also mostly stay away from asexual spaces / sites, for pretty much same reasons as you.
They are like 80% filled with people who have sex and want to educate how aces can be kinky.
It made no sense and if I asked about I was told I’m aphobic!

What is an asexual space?

You did want to be mean though didn’t you. That was the whole point of your post. To be mean. At least own it. ….. 🙄

I’m thinking of starting a space for people who don’t like eating toast. I’m sure we’ll have lots to talk about.

It’s all navel gazing tosh really, all this labelling.

I'm confused by asexuals who have and want sex too, doesn't that mean they're not asexual? How do they explain/justify it in conversation?

Can I ask, what are asexual spaces?

Facebook pages, sub’s on reddit, Aven (site for asexuals).

I can’t really say why the T is there, I guess it’s because they are not ’cis’.

Hello OP. Does your asexuality mean that you don't enjoy any sexual feelings at all, or does this just mean you don't enjoy sex with other people? That is, when you are by yourself can you enjoy sexual fantasies and so on?

I totally agree with your other post by the way. Asexual meetups are invaded by non-asexuals, just as women's events are by men who say they are women. I hate being lumped under LGBTQXYZ+?!%&#.

My idea of asexual events is things like nice book/film discussions and afternoon tea with people like myself who hate the fact that society places romantic love on a higher pedestal than platonic love. Just some fun company and not feeling like I'm alone in my lack of interest in sex/marriage. (Of course, I'd be happy to share and listen to each other's "struggles" about other family members pressuring us to get married, friends trying to set us up with "hot" dates, etc. but if that were the ONLY thing that gets talked about, I'd grow bored very quickly!)

Would you have sex for a million pounds

Does Asexual mean that you’ll never have a partner? Or do Asexuals partner up ever for friendship/emotional support etc? Also, does this mean you never flirt / dress up etc thanks

Do you have libido?

Perhaps we should make our own ace space for truly asexual people who have basic common sense? 😁

The trauma aspect is pretty much always brought about (usually by non-asexuals), so in that sense I am aware that can be a reason for some people, like yourself.
But I don’t have trauma, not even deeply buried.

Yes, I have a sex drive, and I only used solo.

So if you're going solo, do you think about sex when you're doing that? Or what arouses you?

How can you have a sex drive and be asexual? The a denotes "without".

@CiraAce

I guess I'm just wondering who on Earth you've been hanging about with all this time that you can't just enjoy a book group or afternoon tea or whatever it is like anyone else does.

I go to all sorts of social events with friends or to meet new people and sex and romance are not topics that come up. I couldn't give a flying fuck who they want to or don't want to get into bed with and neither do they.

They say ”it’s about the attraction, not action”.

So, I asked how does that work with other people, could lesbian have and like to have sex with men and still be a lesbian? And they couldn’t answer it and I was told that I AM being aphopic.

I don’t bother with these type of people anymore.