I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect.
I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell.
Ive name changed for obvious reasons.
Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions;
I'm female.
I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012.
I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home.
I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price.
I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners.
Anyway, ask away.
AMA
I've served a prison sentence
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 17:51
SofiaSoFar · 08/08/2022 14:58
Some people have literally stolen a few things from B&M bargains
Thats just not true, is it.
No one - not a single person - is in prison for having stolen a few things from B&M.
OneToFive · 07/08/2022 10:28
End up scanning through most of this thread while on the train. Interesting questions, and fascinating and detailed and insightful replies from the OP. Much of it is not what I would have expected, but all I know is from watching Orange if the New Black a few years ago :)
I think OP has fantastic material for a book, but maybe this Q&A format works better?
I'm expect that there must be some type of internal economy within the prison where items in short supply are highly valued and traded? If was I going to be locked in my room, and assuming I'd be fed, for a extended period of time I'd value
- iPad / Kindle with lots of books
- Vibrator
- Batteries/charging cable (for the above)
- Chocolate
- Netflix
- Earphone
I guess these are rare and valuable in prison too?
Are sexual favours traded for other things?
Letsgoforaskip · 07/08/2022 11:13
This is such an amazing thread OP. When you said that you sometimes feel you have wasted the opportunity of being something amazing, I strongly disagree. I think the way you have written and been so patient, empathetic, open and warm on this thread is amazing! You have changed people’s perceptions and helped us all to be less judgmental, which is phenomenal.
It saddens me that you still feel so guilty when, as has been highlighted here, we all make mistakes along the way, especially when we’re young. It sounds as though you have done brilliantly moving forward. I think you should hold you head up high. Thank you ❤️
withaspongeandarustyspanner · 08/08/2022 12:40
Isn't it Joint Enterprise? You can be sentenced just because you were there, I think. It's nothing to do with not taking responsibility. Also, I expect OP doesn't want to out herself by giving more information. No need to judge - that's happened and OP had served her time. Everyone deserves a second chance.
OP - so glad that you are moving on. I wish you all the best. I saw that you said that you would love to help other offenders when they came out of prison - I really think you should look into how you can do this. Your experiences will really make the difference to some women.
Houseofbloodymen · 08/08/2022 12:52
I reinstated my mumsnet account just to comment and say well done for your honesty and helping others who may fall down a similar trap due to relationships and the kind of peer pressure they bring.
Well done to the police for actively taking that choice away so you could move on. X
boomoohoo · 08/08/2022 20:00
@pawkins I would argue that a partner wouldn't start being abusive at the point of the relationship breaking up. Rather, domestic abuse is a pattern of coercive controlling behaviour, getting worse over time, involving other types of abuse (emotional / psychological / sexual etc). whilst risks associated with abuse certainly escalate at the point of the relationship ending, it is not when abuse starts (in Relationships that aren't otherwise abusive)
pawkins · 08/08/2022 19:46
BTW OP my post isn't a criticism at all. I was trying to see if I had the order of events right or if I misinterpreted them.
I live in fear one of my children will get in with the wrong crowd or person and end up in trouble. It can happen to anyone and many don't get the opportunity to turn it around as you have done.
I know its easy to say but don't keep punishing yourself. You will end up living a sort of half life. You paid the price. Now for your own sake and that of your family, you have the right to live your life.
I know thats easier said than done. I have hurt people in the past and live with that every day. Not guilt but a huge sense of regret. Maybe counselling would help?
TrashPandas · 08/08/2022 19:33
Most of us understood what you meant NCforAMA, don't worry.
NCforAMA · 08/08/2022 21:18
Thanks 😂😂 there's always one isn't there 😂
TrashPandas · 08/08/2022 19:33
Most of us understood what you meant NCforAMA, don't worry.
pawkins · 08/08/2022 21:40
OP that is just terrifying. Being threatened when you tried to get away from him.
What can people do in these situations? Your friends must have been terrified too. He sounds dangerous.
He will probably end up back in prison before 2027 if he is so involved in crime. There’s every possibility he is in over his own head and is being threatened by people himself.
Can the police offer any advice on what to do?
I can’t imagine what to do at my age just thinking about it never mind what a young adult could do when in the situation…. It is all sorts of wrong.
Etinoxaurus · 09/08/2022 09:43
Such a brilliant thread @NCforAMA , thank you. I work in the sector, here are some links for further reading and support.
report on women’s prisons
Prison visitor scheme
support for people with criminal convictions
Freedom Programme
Shark Cage
Etinoxaurus · 09/08/2022 09:43
Such a brilliant thread @NCforAMA , thank you. I work in the sector, here are some links for further reading and support.
report on women’s prisons
Prison visitor scheme
support for people with criminal convictions
Freedom Programme
Shark Cage
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