I've served a prison sentence

[NCforAMA]

I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect.

I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell.

Ive name changed for obvious reasons.

Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions;

I'm female.

I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012.

I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home.

I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price.

I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners.

Anyway, ask away.

I really don't want this AMA to end! But I can't think of any more questions!!! 😭

Fascinating insight, thank you.

At what point did you end your relationship with your ex?

Can I ask how you met your ex? I have a daughter who is much younger but I worry she will meet someone who will bring her down with him. How were you arrested? Were you with your ex when he was stopped by the police and implicated that way? Is it possible the police had their eyes on you as an associate before you were arrested as he was known to them?

I’ve always thought that everyone should get a second chance but maybe not a third, fourth and fifth….. Now after your story I don’t know what to think. It isn’t black and white.

Somebody was killed in a prison in Ireland this week. They think he was targeted for owing drug money. Did this happen in the women’s prison ie outside influences? You mentioned you ex knew everything you were doing? Could he have ordered them to give you a hard time or keep you safe?

Would you think prisoners would be better off doing a job that contributes to society rather than helps the prison itself run smoothly eg in the US prisoners work in state owned call centres? That way when released they have a skill that they can earn a living from or would some people refuse to do this?

You should write that book. The police should employ you to give talks to schoolkids about your experience. Your story shows how easy it is for young people to end up on the wrong side of the law, and how to come out the other side.

i have pcos and associated facial hair and have to remove it daily. It’s one of my biggest fears, being somewhere where I could me do that. If I were in prison would I literally be left to grow a beard for the first two weeks until you got a razor?

I'm absolutely fascinated by the prison system so this is such an interesting thread. I too have done a fair few stupid things and been guilty by association - I was incredibly lucky not to get caught.

loads of some questions from me:

What happens to people's pets when they go to prison?

Were there prisoners with disabilities and if so, do you think they were treated in accordance with the equality act?

Were there any prisoners with autism and if so, were they just expected to deal with the noise and closeness to others without becoming distressed?

Do they always make sure people's medications are ordered on time, and does a doctor review them?

If someone has been prescribed controlled drugs (e.g. stimulants for adhd) to manage a condition that could make serving time more difficult for them and those around them, do they continue that treatment?

Another huge well done for turning it around!

Brilliant thread.
I grew up on a poor estate with high crime and high unemployment
I know lots of people who've been in prison, including several members of my close family.
The people that I know, it's just a routine part of their life. In for a few weeks/ months. Out, carry on doing what they were doing and back in again. It doesn't seem to matter to them. Just a slight inconvenience.

The people I know though are all men.
So, hearing about a womens prison is very interesting. It sounds less violent than some of the stories I've heard, especially how the paedophiles and child murderers are treated in men's prisons.
Like you say though, none of the people that I know, who've served time are actually, what I would define as bad or evil people.

When you say standard and enhanced prisoners getting different monetary amounts, what constitutes a standard prisoner or an enhanced prisoner?

I've found the whole thread very moving and find the idea of vulnerable people going through this quite emotional, whether they deserve to be there or not.

I'm going to look into voluntary roles that help women in or coming out of prison, which isn't something I ever thought I'd do.

Thank you for being brave enough to speak out, op, I am so pleased you're doing so well now.

Were there any posh people in prison?

Did you get sick pay from your prison job?

Such a great thread. It sounds like you're still really affected by what happened to you. I hope you are able to fully forgive yourself and move on. Clearly the people who know you best aren't holding it against you at all.

I didn't quite expect so many questions! I feel like I've got a second job haha!

So I split up with my him so many times. We had such a volatile relationship and he isn't a very nice person (although if you were to meet him he's such a charmer you'd probably think he's lovely). So before I went to prison he used to leave me probably monthly, would just wake up one day, message me saying something like 'I can't do this sorry', block my number and block me on every form of social media and then a few days later he'd apologise, I'd take him back and it would happen again.

I wanted to leave him before sentencing, not because I recognised that he would ruin my life but because I was fed up of been treated like an idiot but I knew that if I was sent to prison I would be safer if I was his girlfriend. He had lots of friends who had girlfriends in the prison I was most likely to be sent to so I knew if I was still with him he would get them to look out for me, and if I wasn't with him he'd be able to arrange something to happen to me. So as soon as I arrived people were asking 'are you joe bloggs gf? He's asked me to check you're ok' and they'd give me toiletries, food, ask if I needed anything ect.

Then after I was released (he was still in prison), I'd had the realisation from my offender manager that if I stuck by him my life would be over so I told him I didn't want to see him anymore which went down like a lead ballon. He wouldn't stop ringing my phone, was messaging my friends on Facebook (he had a mobile phone in jail), was ringing my house phone, was threatening to have my house set on fire ect so I got back with him again basically just so that the above things stopped. He was still in jail and was going to be for a few more years and I knew that sooner or later he would end it again like he always did and that would be my opportunity to leave the relationship for good. So I visited him in jail a few times, would answer his calls ect and then low and behold he lost his temper again one day because I'd been out with one of my friends that he didn't approve of, so he ended it and I've never replied to a message since.

He messaged loads at first asking why I wasn't replying, if I'd met someone ect and then he didn't message for ages. He's messaged three or four times since then, saying he was sorry for what he put me through ect and that he still thinks about me. I get chills if I see his name pop up on my phone. We don't live very far apart and I dread that I might one day bump into him x

You didn't answer my question I think, OP.

What were the noise levels like?
The thought of being unable to run away somewhere where I can be alone and quiet is the one that gives me the most fear when I think of what it would be like to be in prison.

What made you stay with your criminal boyfriend for two years after your initial arrest?

Sorry!

On the wing they were awful! You had a few people who were a little crazy and would sleep all day and then be up all night kicking the metal door, singing, screaming, arguing with themselves ect.

It wasn't too bad on the house except when I shared a room with the worlds worst snorer. I wanted to throttle her haha.

@MNHQ surely this thread is a MN Classic?

They won't see that post. To nominate for Classics, report the first post and suggest it. I'll do the same

Thank you NCforAMA for the reply about the noise.

It sounds awful, but I suppose you have to learn to tune it out, or get very good ear plugs.

Hello. Yes of course you can. I met him in the gym. He's a proper charmer. He's pretty good looking and he kept speaking to me, asked my name, added me on Facebook and then started messaging me.

No I wasn't with him at the time of arrest, he was under surveillance from the police so obviously they saw me with him a lot of the time and then they were checking the AMP machines to check where my car had been. The weekend before arrest I had been to a major city for work, another major city for a night out and then another major city on the way home to visit a friend from uni. The police thought that me visiting 3 major cities in one weekend meant that I'd been either collecting or delivering illegal things around the country. I absolutely hadn't and showed them proof of me been been there for work, and my bank transactions confirmed I'd been where I said I'd been ect.

Anyway, they choose the Tuesday after the weekend in question to arrest me. They arrested my boyfriend at the same time but he was at his home and I was at mine. They took my phone and any other electronic devices.

No it's definitely not black and white. If someone's intentionally hurt someone three, four, five times I don't think it's forgivable. If someone's shoplifted 10 times because they wanted a bed for the winter months and 3 meals a day then it's not just forgivable but it's so sad that their life is that shit that they would rather be in prison than in the outside world.

Yeah so basically people would buy drugs from others like this;

A would sell drugs. B wants to purchase £50 worth. A gives B the bank details of their partner who is still in the community. B rings their mum, and asks them to send £50 to A. A gives B the drugs. Most of the time the money would be exchanged. Sometimes it wouldn't and then B will have to repay A either by hiding their drugs for them so that if they are found B is responsible, sometimes by taking a voluntary beating, other times slowly by paying them back with canteen. It's worse in mens jails though, they would just batter them. There's a jail in the north where a wing was closed down because the ring leaders were raping people with drug debts with the end of a hoover, and a lad took his life because of it. You'd think I was making it up because some stuff sounds so far fetched but it's not.

There is actually a call centre in some mens jails but they only have 20ish jobs available. They ring people on the outside and I'm sure it's for an electricity provider. And if they do well they get an interview for a job on the out. It's also one of the best paid jobs for prisoners and a proportion goes into your savings account (rather than onto your canteen) to save up for your release. It's absolutely better than litter picking in the prison ect. You'll always get some that can't be bothered working and don't want to, they have no intention of ever improving their life but the majority want to.

Also, you made me remember that there was a course whilst I was in jail that I applied for and they told me they were only offering it to people serving over 2 years, basically I wasn't bad enough to have any help.

There's a charity called recycling lives that work with reoffenders, and some big companies such as virgin trains and Timpsons employ ex-offenders.

I'd love to give talks to people about not making the same bad choices that I did. I look like a normal, respectable person and I think kids would be surprised that I've been a prisoner. I don't look like the image you get in your head when you think of a prisoner x

You wouldn't be able to purchase one until you got your first canteen sheet, and then they don't come until the following Friday however there are so many nice girls in there that one would absolutely give you a razor! I didn't say anything and then I was in the shower and said something like 'wow I can't wait to shave my armpits' and a girl went and got me a razor from her room x

Hello!

I actually have no idea what happens to someone's pets. I presume if you were due in court for sentencing you'd make some arrangements but if you were arrested and remanded I have no idea what would happen if you had no one to go rescue your pets!

There were a few prisoners who had visible mental disabilities, a women that thought she was a child, a women who used to bark non stop like a dog and absolutely nothing was done, the officers just ignored them, probably half due to having no time. I don't recall seeing anyone with a physical disability but I think they would have been ok. They have ground floor cells, the library and gym are on the ground floor ect.

No one ever said they were autistic so I'm not sure if there was but you would imagine that someone was. They did actually have a 'quiet house' which was for women aged over 55 so you would like to think if someone suffered due to noise they would let them live on the quiet house even if they were under 55 BUT I don't think they would have, every other person in prison has requests about certain things and they just seem to ignore everyone. I think because so many people request things the ones that actually need things get ignored.

They have doctors and they won't give you your medication until it's been reviewed by a doctor. You're meant to get it at the same time each day (they do morning, lunch time, tea time and night time meds) but they're always running late / forgetting people. They can't do the meds without an officer, so if they prison are short staffed they don't have enough officers. If there's a healthcare emergency then there's no one from healthcare to do the meds.

I was on sertraline when I arrived and I didn't get any in the prison for over 3 weeks when I arrived because apparently they'd ran out.

Yeah they still get their controlled meds, they just have to swallow it in front of the officer / nurse.

Thank you!!! Xx

Yeah absolutely, some of the girls who shoplifted ect would say that jail was just an 'occupational hazard' 🤣. They'd be released and be like 'see you soon'. Or people would literally plan when they would return. They'd be like 'oh it's my mums birthday in august so il probably stay out till September'. It's definitely less violent than the male estates, I was expecting people arguing and fighting all the time but it was the opposite and you would be amazed at the friendships that were made. Never did I think I'd be sharing a room with someone who had received a hefty sentence for stabbing someone, but there I was and I could sleep fine, I didn't feel unsafe, we'd just watch the soaps and read magazines and sometimes I'd think wow she stabbed someone. But people do crazy things sometimes - it doesn't make them crazy.

So prisons have a system called IEP system which stands for something like incentive earned privileges. You can be a basic, standard or enhanced prisoner. The officers or prison staff can give you negative or positive IEPS for bad / good behaviour.

When you arrive in the prison you're automatically on standard level (although some jails have you on entry lever for two weeks but I'm not sure what that is). If you get 3 negative IEPS you're reduced to basic, and you lose your TV, your association, you can spend less on your canteen and you get less visits. I think it's reviewed fortnightly. If you're on standard and have been there over 3 months and have 3 or more positive IEPS then you can apply to become enhanced. You get more to spend on your canteen, more visits and you can get more gym sessions ect.

I got one negative IEP whilst I was there, for not been in my cell at lock up time. But I was, I was having a wee and you can't see the toilet through the window in the cell door. I was gutted 🤣

That's amazing - I hope you find something because you would genuinely change lives. Some people just need someone to believe in them.

Thank you xxx

There was one women who was very 'posh'. She'd stolen thousands from her employer but she came across as though she thought she was better than everyone. She didn't really associate with anyone but maybe that was due to her been shy or something. Most people were just ordinary people. There were a few who were quite glamorous but they weren't posh as such.

I think you do get sick pay but I'm sure it was something like 30p a day 🤣

Thank you for the lovely comment. I do just need to learn to forgive myself - I'd have forgiven my friend / family if it was them! I just can't get over how bloody stupid I was. And I still feel so guilty about the worry I caused everyone xx

Honestly - pure stupidity. I have no logical / sensible explanation. I wish I could say he was an amazing boyfriend and that he treated me so well but he was an absolute horror and made my life a misery.

We split up a million times which I wrote about earlier today but I would alwaaaaays go back to him. I think I thought no one else would ever be interested in me again because of what had happened. I didn't realise people would so be so understanding and so forgiving.

But to summarise, I was a massive f**king idiot.

What was Chapel and Christian outreach like?

Thank you for your openness and honesty OP this is an incredible thread.

What scared you the most about prison before you went in and what were you most scared of once you were inside?