I've served a prison sentence

[NCforAMA]

I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect.

I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell.

Ive name changed for obvious reasons.

Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions;

I'm female.

I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012.

I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home.

I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price.

I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners.

Anyway, ask away.

Perhaps I have an unconventional view of criminal justice but for crimes associated with reckless disfigurement, I wouldn't release the perpetrator until the victim is returned to the physical and mental state that they enjoyed before the crime and where financial crimes are committed, I would divide the amount stolen by the average annual salary to calculate the sentence.
From your perspective, am I being unreasonable?

Thank you OP for answering my many questions and all the time and patience you gave.
I appreciate that this must have brought back memories and feelings that you’d rather keep buried. I hope you continue to thrive and your ex does not cause more trouble for you when he is released. Is it by possible he might not have your address as you mentioned you sold your house around the same time you were sent to prison. If he does maybe the police could help although I can see that probably sounds naive. It is worth checking your options/rights before he is released instead of fearing the unknown and getting anxious or even caught up by his charm again?

Honestly I don't know, I'd like to think I would have still turned my life around but it must be so hard for someone with no family support. They're released with no where to live and your discharge money (it was about £48 can't remember exactly) and you're expected to sort your life out and be reformed.

There is (or was, this was around 25 years ago) similar lack of support for people discharged from mental health institutions. My friend had a black bag with her belongings, some cash (about the same amount) and had to go and knock on the door of the Council to find accommodation. Nothing was sorted before she was discharged. And she didn't think to ask me for help.

Shocking. I hope the situation has improved.

I have read every post on this thread and have no questions that have not already been answered but wanted to say, along with everyone else l think, how brave you were to start this fascinating thread and well done for turning your life around.

@NCforAMA Thank you for your lovely reply. That’s very sad that you had such a lovely upbringing and are from such a lovely supportive background but this still happened. It just goes to show that it could happen to any of us and makes me worry for my kids. It’s such a tricky world with some many horrible characters about.

Good luck. Onwards and upwards. I wish you and your lovely family a very happy future xxx

I don't have any questions right now as you've answered the few I did have. I however want to congratulaye

I tried to post this before but it got cut off... I commend you for sharing your experience and the harsh lesson you've learned. While I didn't go to jail myself, when I was young my Mom put me in a teen home for troubled youth and it was a nightmare. I've forgiven her for it as I'm older now, but the experience is life altering and your post took me back to that experience. I appreciate you and your courage...

What line of work are you in now?

The chaplaincy staff were lovely, they genuinely really cared about everyone. The chapel was nice, it looked like an ordinary chapel, you wouldn't know you were in jail. I'm not religious so I didn't really visit the chapel except a couple of times when it was used to host charity events (they sometimes did bake sales ect and you could buy a cake from your wages and the money went to charity) so I can't comment on what the services were like x

I honestly deep down did not think that I would get a prison sentence, my solicitor was so sure I wouldn't so I don't think I ever really thought about what it would be like inside or prison. Id tell myself it was a possibility and I was scared of the going to prison, and I was terrified of the upset it would cause my family but I wasn't scared of been beaten up ect because I don't think deep down I actually thought I would go. I'd purchased stuff for my bag to take to prison but I'd kept the receipts in a little pile because I thought I'd be able to take them back the week after sentencing 🤦🏼‍♀️

Once I was inside I was scared of some people, not because they'd done anything to me just because they were terrifying and if anyone so much as looked at them the wrong way they'd say something. You didn't see much violence but I hate confrontation and would be terrified if someone even said something to me. I felt safe sharing a cell with my cell mate even though you'd think she was scary when you first met her (she was actually soft as anything, really looked out for me and would do anything for you) but out and about you'd be looking over your shoulder, at the end of the day although 99% of the girls were pretty normal, non-violent people, there were some who had literally killed people for no reason. I remember there was a women who had stabbed a random person in the street that they didn't even know because voices in their head told them to. She once spent the whole morning asking me the time every 5 minutes and after about the 10th time my patience was wearing a bit thin and I said why do you keep asking every 5 minutes it's not like we're going anywhere and she said 'do you know what I'm here for' 🙈🙈 wellllll I quickly went and found my cell mate and said don't leave me by myself I think she wants to kill me! So in answer to your question it was some of the people, which is probably wrong of me to feel like that but I think it's just a natural feeling when you know how violent some of the peoples offences were. I don't think I was scared of much else, I felt a lot of regret, disappointment in myself and worry about the future but I wasn't scared as such. I wasn't bothered about the food, the cleanliness or anything like that, I was in prison so I just accepted it was going to be shit and tried to get on with it.

Also it's reminded me by saying she kept asking for the time, if anyone is ever facing a prison sentence make sure you take a watch!! There's no clocks anywhere and it drives you mad not knowing the time!

Hi - well done on turning your life around.
My question is: Were you aware of anyone there who had disabilities aside from Mental Health? I’m thinking specifically of hearing loss or sight impairment which could possibly have made someone an easy target?
Secondly, I can’t get out of my mind of the 80 yr old who was done for arson when she was trying to commit suicide. That’s so so sad.
Again, all good wishes for your future, your past does not define you. Glad you had your Mum, hope she’s ok too.

@gattocattivo My dad went to prison when I was 11 so your comment about your 11 year old interested me. It was for overseas tax stuff and I was at private school, so we weren’t a stereotypical criminal family and I felt very isolated. I ‘acted out’ too, for sure. I’m close to both my parents but I often wonder about the effect it had on me.

@NCforAMA I’ve loved this thread. There were parts of it that really resonated with me, even though I had a parent in prison and wasn’t in prison myself.

Hey.

I don't think you're been unreasonable and I understand you're thinking behind the ideas but I think it would have a few flaws. In regards to the crimes that have victims, I absolutely think that some sentences are far too short. You can intentionally cause serious harm to someone or worse and be walking free a few years later and I agree some sentences are too lenient but I'm not sure how your ideas would work.

Would it be the victim who decided when the criminal was allowed to be released? What if they held a grudge so continued to say they were still suffering mentally to keep the person locked up when they had actually recovered. Would there be a cut off point where their opinion would be overruled or what it be solely down to the victim as to when the person was allowed to be released? Or what if it was an accident, I knew a girl who was in prison for death by dangerous driving, she had got two years so it must have been a genuine accident as the crime carries a maximum of 12 years, and she literally looked on the edge of tears every single day. Should she be imprisoned forever because she took a life? Even though it wasn't intentional?

Have you ever heard of IPP sentences? It's short for imprisonment for public protection sentence. It was introduced in 2003 but it was abolished in 2012 so it didn't last too long but it's been devastating to some people. Basically, people would be given a sentence, I know someone who was given 18 months IPP. So you're sentence is 18 months, but you aren't allowed to be released without sitting parole, so any negative behaviour will stop you from been released even though you've served your full sentence. The person I knew had served ELEVEN YEARS for an 18 month sentence. I think your idea could result in stuff like this. And the reason she kept getting refused release was because she self harmed 'too much'.

Your idea regarding repayment isn't too bad, say the average wage was £100 a day (I know it isn't, just easy maths haha), so if you stole £48k you'd be jailed for 2 years? But would that encourage people who shoplift / commit petty thefts? They would know fine ell a judge wouldn't sentence you to a day in prison, so would they think 'oh, it's only worth £100, il take it'.

I understand your ideas and I don't think they're unreasonable but the criminal justice system is so messed up and complicated that I don't think it's quite so simple x

I’ve wondered about you and your daughter for a while @drinkingwineoutofamug So pleased to hear she’s doing well xxx

No problem! It's definitely brought back some old feelings, I couldn't sleep on Monday night after I'd answered loads of questions and I wasn't expecting so much interest but it's nice to see that people have been interested and have asked really good sensible questions (give or take a couple haha).

He's already been released but his license conditions say that he's not allowed to contact me. So until his license expires (2027) he could get a full license recall (he'd have to serve the rest of his license in prison) if he did contact me and I reported it.

As far as I'm aware he doesn't know where I live as I've moved since he was in prison. He knows where some of my family live so it gives me some confidence knowing he's never turned up there. I absolutely would not fall for his charm again! I feel sorry for the next girl who has / does! I wish you could write reviews for ex's haha 'good at cooking but has a terrible temper and might get you locked up' 🙈 Xx

It's not got any better unfortunately. On the day I was released there were 5 girls including myself awaiting release. Only 2 of us had homes to go to.

They do try, they try to find you somewhere to go but basically advise 'if we can't find anywhere you'll have to go to the council and tell them you're homeless'. It's no wonder some people reoffend. It's a sad world we live in for some people 😢 xx

Thank you so much!! Xx

@Teesht honestly I've never seen someone so broken. You're heart just broke for her and she was literally shoved back in her cell and locked up for the night. I was expecting her to be found dead in the morning because she'd literally lost all hope. I know the children will probably have a better life with their adoptive family but it won't have made it hurt any less for her. I wish I could see how she is now, I hope she's turned her life around but I'd expect it to have just gone into a downward spiral. I can only remember her first name otherwise I'd try find her on Facebook to see how she was doing. It's a cruel world for some isn't it x

@Foronenightonly22 thank you for your well wishes! I'm sure you won't need to worry about your children although I know it's natural to do so. Take care xx

Thank you!

That must have been awful! I can imagine it been very much like prison and I can't imagine been there as a teenager! I hope it wasn't too bad and I'm glad you've managed to forgive your mum. I don't think I'd have coped without mine supporting me so it must have been so hard to go through that xx

I don't really want to say what I do as I wouldn't want anyone to recognise who I am as I've said quite a lot on here but I have a pretty good job, lots of room for progression ect. I enjoy it. They're aware of what I did and it's all declared. It's not what I always dreamed of doing but that's ok.

Thank you!

I don't recall anyone having hearing loss or loss of sight. They have something called PEEPS though which stands for something like prisoner evacuation emergency plan which is for disabled prisoners so they're must have been some people with disabilities.

I honestly think that had there of been anyone with hearing loss ect the other girls would have looked after them, rather than them becoming a target. Unless you've harmed children the girls wouldn't agree with you getting bullied, so if someone picked on someone vulnerable they'd probably end up having a whole bunch of girls defending the vulnerable one. The young ones were always looked after xx

Thank you! I'm glad you liked the thread 🙂

I bet that was hard for you. I've always said it's probably harder for the people left at home than the ones that are in prison. You always used to see children crying at the end of a visit - it used to break your heart x

@Violinist64 also I can't believe you've actually read the whole thread! It must have took you ages 😂 I was never expecting so many questions 😂 x