I've served a prison sentence

[NCforAMA]

I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect.

I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell.

Ive name changed for obvious reasons.

Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions;

I'm female.

I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012.

I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home.

I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price.

I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners.

Anyway, ask away.

How did your current or previous partner(s) react when you told them? Would you tell your children (future children)?

This is so interesting as I'm obsessed with prison related tv programs but also convinced I wouldn't last a day inside!! I'm glad things are good for you now and certainly don't hold the opinion that all prisoners are scum.

What was your routine on an average day in prison?

I have disclosed at interview, to two jobs. One I didn't get but they said it had nothing to do with my criminal record and that they were going for someone with more experience but I was obviously doubtful of this.

The other I got and still have, it's actually quite a good job and I'm so so grateful they gave me a chance. It still affects me though, I worry that I wouldn't get another job if I wanted to change, I worry that it would stop me getting promotions (although I don't think this would actually be the case) and I feel like I have to work harder than anyone else because I feel like I'm lucky to have the job.

I told my partner a few weeks after we started dating. I don't mention it straight away as I know that it would be off putting. But he said it was fine, everyone makes mistakes ect.

I wouldn't tell any new friends that I made unless they became close friends. Most of my friends (except work ones) have been my friends since before I was jailed, came to visit me, always stood by me ect. But I do worry when I meet new people that 1) they will know and 2) they will judge.

I was once going on a hen do for my friend and she has an awful friend who was also going (although they've fallen out now) and the girl messaged me the day before to tell me that she thought I was a horrible scumbag. I didn't go I was mortified.

My perception is that many women are in for exactly the reason you have stated. Association with men who indulge in criminal activities. The women might lie for them, take drugs or help them hide drugs etc. If they hadn’t got involved with this person then it is unlikely they would ever have broken the law off their own bat.

Many of them are in abusive relationships and for the same reasons that women on mumsnet find it difficult to leave relationships, so do these women. I believe a lot of them are young, naïve and vulnerable.

I only know anything from watching Tv documentaries.

Did you find any support within the prison services that helped you with why you were inside, or help you to stay out of prison.

Whatever you did, you have served the time, so I wish you the best for your future and better life.

She got life - I can't remember the minimum she had to serve before parole but it would have been over 12 years.

If you were to disclose to a work colleague about having done time, what’s the best way they can respond. Would you find questions in ‘real life’ an imposition? Because my first question would be what did you do but I guess from your OP that’s not something an ex con is comfortable with discussing generally?

So you don't always have to share a cell, I was in a single one. Then I moved to the 'houses' where you share a room but they have communal toilets.

So I never did have to poo in front of anyone thankfully!

Thank you!

And you are amazing for what you do. I wish I could do something like that but obviously I'd be unable to x

We shouldn't spend our lives entirely defined by the worst thing we have done. Prison is supposed to be reforming and it sounds like you are someone it has worked for. I'm glad you have a job and that life now appears to be back on track for you. Not everyone thinks all people who have been to prison are scum.

Is it true that there’s drugs everywhere in prison?

When you were arrested were the police kind to you?
Did you have a solicitor when first questioned?
How did your family react?

I’m finding this so interesting. How did you fill your day in prison? What advice would you give a “newbie”?

There was a lovely gym officer who used to run spin classes ect. His daughter was troubled and had been in trouble with the law and he was so so understanding.

There was also a lovely older man who ran the gardens where I 'worked' and he was so kind, listened, understood, helped.

So all the way up to sentencing I wanted to kill myself. Id sorted everything out, wrote a will, paid my car off, sorted all my stuff out.

As soon as I was sentenced I was devastated at been away from my family ect, and I could see how upset my mum was and I thought wow, if I was dead she'd be even more upset. And I became determined to make her proud.

Everyone used to say in the prison 'how are you so calm and positive', I thought I'd cry the whole time but I didn't at all, yeah I had moments but I tried to be strong (as cliche as that sounds). I got a job, went to the gym sessions, went to yoga ect.

Why do people think James Cordon is a right royal bell end ?

Aren’t womens prisons categorised by offence like mens?
Or is it because there are far less female prisons?
It sounds like you have turned your life around. Wishing you all the best

Sorry, yeah I had a single cell on the wing and then I moved to the 'houses' and shared a room with a drug dealer, and then a girl who had stabbed her boyfriend. The houses are literally like uni accommodation, bedrooms, living room, bathrooms and a kitchen. You are locked on the house from 7pm-7am but not locked in your room.

Thank you for the lovely comment!! I might regret the thread later if I get any horrible comments haha, but I thought people might be interested! X

This is fascinating and has really reframed my perception of how I imagine it would be. Thanks for sharing your experience and I’m really glad your life has turned out so well 😊

Good luck Op, you served your time and seem to be doing really well.

I've only had one partner since, I was terrified telling him so did it the cowardly way over text. He was very understanding. He barely mentions it since although sometimes I wish I could talk more openly about it (I could, he doesn't judge, but I like to just put that part of my life away).

I did date a couple of people before my partner, however one I knew from when I was at school so he was aware and the other I told and he wasn't phased, just used to ask loads of questions, which is understandable!

Thanks for your kindness xx

Sorry, forgot about the child question. This actually causes me serious anxiety sometimes and I've spoken to the other girls who were there to ask what they will do. They have all said they wouldn't say anything unless it was absolutely necessary but I'm still unsure. I wouldn't want to look like I was hiding anything x

So glad to hear you’re doing well. Clearly lots of otherwise good people who make a mistake or get themselves in a bad position out there.

I used to work in recruitment for a while and far more people with convictions than you might think.

So the houses are unlocked at 7am, if you take medication you go collect your daily meds from the hatch.

You have a breakfast pack that you receive the night before so you eat breakfast when you please.

You go to work 8.30-12, come back to the house (or wing) and collect your lunch. You go back to work 1.30-4. Then it's tea time. Then it's association, so you can visit the library, the gym, walk round.

Some days you might have a visit, an appointment with your offender manager.

On a Friday you get your 'canteen' (phone credit/ snacks/ toiletries) that you have ordered from your canteen sheet.

Weekends are just morning or afternoon association with no work. And you get a fry up rather than a breakfast pack x

Were you at Cornton Vale?

This makes me think of my own choice to talk to my DD about previous abuse that I suffered. I was really worried about any impact on her but someone once said to me it was something positive, to educate others and hopefully prevent history from repeating itself, that came from something terrible.