I've served a prison sentence

[NCforAMA]

I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect.

I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell.

Ive name changed for obvious reasons.

Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions;

I'm female.

I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012.

I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home.

I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price.

I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners.

Anyway, ask away.

You mentioned earlier that you weren't brave, because you had no choice about going to prison. But I do think you're incredibly brave to reflect so honestly and openly about your experience and respect to you for turning around your life so positively.

OP, thank you for answering my question and for this thread - it’s certainly been interesting!

I wish you everything of the best for the future!

And one more question!

Do you receive advice on release about who/how to tell about the fact you've been in prison?
I don't mean with job applications and things where you have to declare your movement, but on a personal level. I was thinking if you have children in the future that's going to be a very tough call, whether you explain to them at some point or keep quiet. I imagine if the subject of crime or prison comes up on tv or anywhere else it might be difficult to feel like you're hiding something from them. But on the other hand, it wouldn't be an easy thing for them to process and deal with. Do you have ongoing support for this sort of scenario?

They do get methadone, I'm not sure if they can attend NA tbh, from what I've seen they literally just get their methadone and are left to suffer in their cells. There doesn't look to be much support. They always have to fight for their methadone too, it's always either not been prescribed, not enough staff to open the hatch ect. It causes a lot of upset.

La Modela Prison in Barcelona was one of the first jails to dispense methadone, and good for them.

However, in Lockdown in Italy, Inmates at a male jail rioted and raided the pharmacy and some died of methadone overdoses.

Withdrawals from methadone and heroin {''Double habit''} are supposed to be horrendous, far more extended than heroin alone.

I can imagine inmates getting upset if it can't be dispensed due to not enough staff especially with suboptimal dosing. They are not getting enough methadone anyway to last them 24hrs to keep withdrawals at bay.

Before methadone, it was a paracetamol if people were lucky , or maybe a DF118.

Cold turkey in a prison cell is inhumane, but it's what used to happen, and likely still does in places like Russia where methadone itself is not legally prescribable for addiction.

An advantage to methadone is that it also protects against overdose on release, as a person's tolerance is up.

We used to live near a men's jail, and newly released inmates would be looking to sell their striped shirts to get money to go and score with.

So, so sad :( Very little support, it seems for the newly released, or that was the case back then 2000's}

"School was fine, I wasn't the most popular kid but had friends, I got 13 GCSE's, 3 A-Levels and a First class degree at university. I then got myself a half decent job and bought myself a house. I had a pet, went travelling and lived a lovely life.

Then I ruined it all 🤣

I had a long term relationship through college and uni with an abusive guy, and then when I left him I met my ex bf. We were together a year before I ended up in trouble, from the age of 20. And for about 3 years in total. He was 6 years older."

I'm a bit puzzled by your timeline which I may have misunderstood. You had a degree, a house, a job, a pet and were living a lovely life including travelling all before you met him at age 20?

This is a very interesting thread btw 😊

No I wasn't arrested until was 21, nearly 22, and was sentenced when I was 23, nearly 24.

Sorry if I've explained it rubbish.

I did travelling in bits and pieces, travelled Asia one summer over uni, went to America for 3 weeks on annual leave ect, rather than a gap year abroad or something. I think the 'went travelling' bit was in the wrong place and made it sound like I did a years travelling after uni.

I was with my ex ex bf through college and the first two years of uni, broke up and met my ex bf straight away, was with him for the very end of my degree and then got a job, bought a house, got a cat and then got arrested.

Thank you, so kind of you! ❤️

Thank you for sharing this OP. I also made some questionable decisions in my youth and had boyfriends who could very easily have led me down the wrong path.
Mostly I just posted to say well done! But if I had a question it would be, what more do you think could be done to educate and support young women to make better choices? I know for me a lot of my issues related to low self esteem, and looking for love in the wrong places, and I’d think that’s a common theme?

Thank you - I hope I didn't sound like I was doubting you. It's amazing isn't it how functional someone can be whilst living in a disfunctional controlling relationship, almost like living a double life. Often the victim hides it very effectively from loved ones. My heart goes out to your young self but glad you're back on track.

I've had a bit of experience working with offenders and ex-offenders in an education capacity, both in and out of the prison setting.

I remember feeling exactly as you do, and once I did actually say to one of the guys I was helping that my worry was exactly that - I sounded 'posh', I had clearly had a decent education and pretty straightforward life, and that I worried it might annoy the offenders. But the one I asked said it wasn't an issue - but what they didn't like were the 'do-gooders' who swanned around like they had all the answers, but actually didn't want to get their hands dirty, and didn't have anything practical to offer them.

@NCforAMA is also right when she says that education privileges in a prison setting are really sought after by most of the prisoners, and I never had any trouble in my (sadly, quite short) time, just a room of enthusiastic learners from all walks of life and of all ages. I vividly remember one young guy who'd always thought he was 'stupid', had dropped out of school, etc. We were working on some basic phonics - literally 3 letter words - but the first time he 'got it', he actually started getting emotional. It's things like that that hit you, when you've had a straightforward life with a decent education - you realise how much you unintentionally have been taking for granted.

It's a sad fact that at least 65% of prisoners are dyslexic, or have some kind of learning difficulty - that, coupled with what is often a 'chaotic' home life, is often the reason why they start truanting from school as young teenagers, and then fall into a life of crime as a means of survival with no qualifications for a 'proper' job, and/or no opportunities to do Btecs or an apprenticeship, and still carrying the barrier of a learning difficulty with them.

The prison environment is daunting - it's noisy all the time, it's smelly with the stale aroma of yesterday's food hanging around, and as an education volunteer, you can't go to the loo without being escorted through the many gates and doors by a PO - you also try and hold on until the scheduled break, because the POs often didn't have the time to come over and let out one volunteer just to go to the loo in the middle of the morning!

So I'll echo what other pp have said - if you do have an interest in helping offenders with some kind of education programme, it's worth considering, and it can be extremely rewarding (as well as frustrating - the system is so stretched, and everything is under-funded and under-staffed).

Well done, @NCforAMA - you are truly an inspiration, and courageous for interacting so honestly on here.

@NCforAMA

did you gain weight Op or lose weight? (Or stay the same?)

do you feel that you looked different physically at all after the three months were up?

very interesting thread btw, thank you

I could have easily ended up being you OP. I had some very questionable partners in the past and was SO naïve. Even while quite a bit older than you were I was involved with a woman who (looking back now) was very dodgy-she used to tell me not to ever answer the door if she wasn' t in and there were always dubious people and items (stolen, I realise now) hanging around. Loads of us must have escaped some things just by not being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Off topic but I have to say I am surprised at how many people haven't heard the phrase 'Well spaghetti is straight until It's wet' I must have first heard that 25 years ago! But then I am a gay woman I suppose-It's something I hear said all the time (in jest of course)!

I have already asked a couple of questions and you've answered (thank you!) but a last one is, I know you've said peodophiles/child abusers flocked together-were there any other sorts of 'groups'?

The woman with her teddy really made me feel emotional. She must have had a life I don't want to think about. So sad that there's no MH care. I suppose nobody enforced showers then? (sorry that was another question)!

Did your health suffer while you were - I've heard of 'prison pallor' due to a lack of fresh air?

Sorry, but at the risk of TMI did the lack of fresh fruit and vegetables make you constipated?

Could you sleep at night? Was it noisy?

How would you have coped with release if your family had not been supportive?

Presumably some prisoners families used off the shelf drones to clandestinely deliver things like snout and dildos over the prison walls. But if you had had access to an American MQ-9 Reaper drone loaded with two R9X 'Ninja' Hellfire missiles, of the sort that shredded al-Zawahiri yesterday morning on his balcony in Kabul, would you have felt a little more empowered?

Hi OP, thanks for the reply, That’s awful about the methadone, it needs to be given on time! And there’s so much evidence to show that addiction is best fought with peer support. This definitely needs reform.

Another question, and a really random one: what happens if you’re wearing non-disposable contacts when you go to prison? Presuming you don’t also have glasses? If you can’t have toiletries, what about lens solution? Otherwise you’d have to take them out and not put them back in (or risk a serious eye infection by either keeping them in or trying to use tap water)

Whats the general glasses/contacts situation? Are prisoners allowed to go to the optician? Who pays?

Yes definitely a common theme! I think they should have talks from previous offenders, some who have continued to re-offend and spend their life in and out of prison, and others who reformed themselves and have changed their lives around.

You'd hope that then the girls could be inspired by the ones who had made changes, and that the ones who had continued to offend could deter the others from following the same path.

Crimes kind of glamorised sometimes in prison, there's a lot of people in for drug offences who wear nice clothes, have lots of money etc and the ones who have nothing on the outside think 'oh I can do that'. But it literally ruins your life. It was 10 years ago and there's not a day goes by where it doesn't cross my mind.

There's hardly anything in place to rehabilitate the women. They're just left to look after themselves. You have a meeting once a month with your offender manager but it's 10 minutes long and you'll get there and they'll ask who you are. To be fair mine scared the shit out of me and was like if you carry on with this boy you're going to be in jail again and again but that's not enough for someone who's not scared of jail x

No it's fine, I should have explained better!
Yeah that's literally what I did!

Especially after arrest and whilst on bail. No one would have known that I was facing jail. I used to get up, go to the gym, have a session with my personal trainer, go to work, go home and prep my meals for the next day, have a bath and watch tv. Not sure what it was about the car but I would get in the car every single day after work and sob my whole way home. I debated killing myself so many times, I once stopped at every shop on the way home to buy 2 packs of paracetamol with the full intention of taking them. I couldn't see a way out of the relationship and I couldn't see an end to the bail situation.

But on the outside you'd have thought I was absolutely fine, I loved the gym, was doing really well at work. Inside I was in pieces! I'm fine now and not fishing for sympathy haha x

@ChangedForThisJustBecause

Thank you for your lovely comment! You sound like you do an amazing job doing what you do.

You're absolutely right about the smell. I remember getting home and I just smelt of prison. And no matter how much you cleaned your cell it was never ever clean!

I normally weigh somewhere around 9.5 stone. Before I was sentenced I weighed 8.5 as I'd been too stressed to eat.

I came out weighing just over 8, I ate in prison but the portions are tiny. The cereal packet you get for lunch is literally the tiniest bag of cereal you've ever seen. I would wait till as late as possible to eat my breakfast so that there was less time to wait for dinner haha.

I just looked skinny, all my friends would come on visits and tell me I looked deathly (they're all very honest). I had a tan though. People afterwards who didn't know I'd been in jail asked if I'd been on holiday 🙈

@NCforAMA this thread is absolutely fascinating! Thank you for being so honest and open with your answers.

I don’t want to know which prison you were in, just was is relatively close to where you family/friends were?

You’ve mentioned people visiting you and I just wondered how easy or otherwise it was for them

How easy it was for them to visit I mean-logistically ☺️

What happened to your house when you went to jail?

Not sure if my earlier question got lost among others but I'm repeating it as I'm really interested to know the answer about ongoing support:

Do you receive advice on release about who/how to tell about the fact you've been in prison?
I don't mean with job applications and things where you have to declare your movement, but on a personal level. I was thinking if you have children in the future that's going to be a very tough call, whether you explain to them at some point or keep quiet. I imagine if the subject of crime or prison comes up on tv or anywhere else it might be difficult to feel like you're hiding something from them. But on the other hand, it wouldn't be an easy thing for them to process and deal with. Do you have ongoing support for this sort of scenario?

Just to add, I taught a teenager whose father was in prison. He knew because he was about 11 when his father was convicted. He felt very conflicted; he loved his dad but felt shame about the situation I think and would 'act out' as a show of bravado to deflect from that. I imagine this is one of the toughest things for a parent who has been in prison, knowing who and how to tell. I hope there is professional advice though I fear there probably isn't!

Did you have a uniform or just wear your own clothes?

Judging from this thread there were loads of us who were pretty naive! Blinded by love haha! You always look back and think wtf was I doing but you just don't realise at the time!

People tended to group together with others from where they were from - so if you were from Manchester you'd automatically become friends with the others from Manchester ect. There weren't really many gangs as such though, just like groups you'd get in the school playground, the cool ones, the not so cool ones ect.

Honestly there were so many sad situations, some of the women literally could not look after themselves and should not have been sent to prison. The women with the teddy not only didn't shower but her room was awful. You get your meals in those foil trays and each week we would clean her room, put bedding on, try and get her to shower and put her washing in. By the next week, she would have a weeks worth of empty foil trays, no bedding on and no clean clothes again. The officers don't care, it's not their problem. They did sometimes do a room check though and the cleanest room would win £2 phone credit... proud to announce that one month I won cleanest room haha.

There are honestly so many kind girls in prison, they would give people anything they needed, help them clean, encourage them to shower ect. It's so different to what you would expect x