I've served a prison sentence

[NCforAMA]

I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect.

I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell.

Ive name changed for obvious reasons.

Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions;

I'm female.

I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012.

I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home.

I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price.

I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners.

Anyway, ask away.

One of my friends but that's it. Everyone else stood by me. She's since been back in touch to apologise but I just ignored her.

Yes definitely, prisoners will do anything to get out of their cell haha! But some would really appreciate and enjoy that, there's not enough support for prisoners to help them on release.

There was a recycling centre in the jail that guaranteed an interview upon release, and the course was always full.

I'd 100% of attended. It will give them hope! X

@NCforAMA thank you so much for this thread and thank you for your honesty. It makes such an interesting read - and so educational! I think you've smashed a few prejudices along the way and done a lot of good - you're obviously a person who cares!

My question is - do you know what happened to the child of the woman who was sentenced because her partner raped her child (sorry, don't know whether it was he or she)? I just can't blame the woman for doing what she did - (and it should have been classed as 'defence' imo) I can't imagine what she must have been going through - and then to be separated from her child afterwards and imprisoned..... how old was the child and how were they supported and looked and was the mother allowed contact while in prison? af
I wish you the very best of luck OP - and I don't think you have anything to feel ashamed or guilty about! Hold your head up high xx

Some do! Especially in the mens jails, but they buy tuna from the canteen and live off tuna and noodles.

I loved off chocolate and carbs as you don't get fed much and I was always starving but I was lighter upon release than I was upon arrival and I didn't have much to loose in the first place.

I used to go to every gym session problem just for something to do. They did spin class, body pump, football and on some occasions rounders x

There's a few top-ish dogs haha but not just one top dog! I became friends with one of them so I was looked after and she'd always look out for me.

Thank you x

I wish OP well, and I absolutely respect her for turning her life around, but I strongly suspect she either had a previous criminal record or is seriously minimising what she actually did in this thread.

I know of a girl who got sentenced to 3.5 years (although she didn’t serve the full amount) for being in the passenger seat of her boyfriends car whilst he was dealing class A drugs. Think her charge was “Conspiracy to supply”.

No previous convictions. Absolutely no way for her to have minimised the crime. It’s purely guilty by association.

So it really isn’t hard to believe what the OP is stating. Trying to imply she is minimising her crime or has a previous record is so rude when the OP is being nothing but respectful and remorseful.

Interesting thread OP.
If bullying is usually directed at child killers/abusers etc do the staff turn a blind eye to it because of the crimes committed? I read about the abuse directed at the mother of Gabriel Hernandez in prison and how the staff do as little as possible to help her.

There is so much self harming, and far too much suicide. It's awful, I've seen someone hanging and all I could think about was the call their family would get.

They'd been fine the night before, chatting, laughing ect. I just kept thinking why the fuck didn't I ask if they were ok. But there was no reason to.

I think a lot of the self harm is a cry for help, it's sad to watch, a lot of girls did it. I don't know what they could do to reduce it. There's not enough staff and not enough support for people struggling with their mental health. Their cries for help get ignored until it's too late.

The girls support each other as much as they can c

There's a few top-ish dogs but not just one too dog! It helps if you befriend one of them.

Omg yes, I've never been hit on so much in my life. Someone hit on me and I said 'sorry I'm straight' and she said 'so is spaghetti till it's wet' 🤣🤣

I absolutely agree. It depends on the sentencing judge - my friend was told he’d get community service or a suspended sentence, he got several years even though it was a first offence and there were mitigating circumstances. I discussed it with a police officer friend (entirely different friendship group so she didn’t know him) and she was shocked at his sentence.

It’s just how it goes, much as it shouldn’t. But it doesn’t mean people can - or should - convince themselves that there’s “more to it”. We all like to think that “this couldn’t possibly happen to me” but the truth is that we’re all only ever a bad decision or two away from being in OP’s shoes.

Really interesting thread!

Are you worried your ex will contact you in 2027 when his license runs out?

Aww this is so so lovely!! Thank you to you and your family! The two year wait was honestly the worst part, I couldn't move on with my life, couldn't look forward I was just terrified of what was going to happen. And my mum and everyone would say 'the charges will be dropped don't worry' and I'd be so scared of letting everyone down if they weren't.

I went to court with my friends as I didn't want my mum to see me upset and I had to ring her from prison and you get a 2 minute phone call and I couldn't stop crying saying sorry and she sounded fine like over the top happy and I just knew that she was putting on a happy voice to make me feel better and that the minute I hung up she'd be sobbing.

It was something to do with texts. Basically I just knew what he was up to. But because of him they arrested all his associates (his brother ect) and I was the stupid one who spoke up.

There's a lot of girls who were in jail for stuff like this, basically been with someone who is a criminal makes you a criminal to.

I couldn't get over a girl who had got 4 weeks from shoplifting from a shop, what a waste of taxpayers money haha x

Thank you so much x

Thanks OP - this is a fascinating thread. I've read every post. I really appreciate the time you've taken to answer all the questions. It really pushes to the forefront the need for more funding in prisons to enable more effective rehabilitation. I'm convinced it would be cheaper and better for society in the long run.

Loads! But I think it's because they didn't stop shoplifting, they would get a four week custodial sentence so they would serve two weeks (absolutely pointless) and then they would be back again a couple of weeks later for the same thing. They would do it to find a drug addiction normally x

Thank you for the lovely comment!

If I could change one thing it would be the negative officers. Some are so kind and positive, they say things like 'your punishments been here, I'm not gonna treat you like shit'. Others would literally be like 'you're a criminal so you'll do what I say' and they'd make you feel soooooo shit x

Thank you so much for this thread and for taking the time to reply so well to everyone, even the repeat questions.
Well done for using your experience to turn your life around and now to educate the rest of us.

I've always had a fascination with prisons and a lot of opinions on how they should be improved! I'd love to work in one (not as an officer, I'm a nurse), but none near me.

What 5 things would you change about prisons? Big or small things.

This is the most valuable AMA thread I’ve read. Thank you for shining a light on the often disregarded members of our society who are ex-offenders, particularly women. I truly believe that we are all (especially women) one or two poor decisions away from a similar fate.

I’d love to know if there are any charities or organisations that have helped you. I’d love to get involved professionally, voluntarily or just financially.

Yeah they would have a couple of staff and then the rest would be prisoners. The prisoners working in the kitchens would steal food and then sell it for tobacco. I used to buy a bag of fruit a week for some tobacco, I don't even smoke I'd only buy it so I could buy fruit haha. In the jail my boyfriend was in someone took a poo in the custard and it was served to the wing before the poo was discovered at the bottom hahaha.

The best jobs in the jail I was in was working in the gym because it meant you could attend all the gym sessions whereas they're limited to so many per week x

@NCforAMA I have huge respect for you. Well done for being so strong and positive.

I’m another one who easily could’ve ended up in a similar situation. I was in an abusive relationship many years ago and I often think about some of the stupid things I was coerced and manipulated into. I’m so sorry you were put in those situations too.

Do you worry about him contacting you in the future? I really hope he doesn’t.

I'm really surprised at this, maybe my county is unusual but we've got 3 in it alone. Do you really have no prisons nearby at all? I wouldn't have known they were there if I hadn't been arranging vaccination supplies.

I volunteer for a listening service and probably about 30-40% of the calls we receive are from prisoners. It’s mainly men, which can be a mixed bag tbh, but the ones from female prisoners are always heartbreaking. They’re just missing their mums, or their kids, and they often seem to be in for much shorter sentences for non-violent crimes (as others have said, usually drug related or as a consequence of a violent or controlling relationship).

I find it very troubling how little understanding there is in the justice system of coercive control, and the effects of DV on female offenders; how little advocacy there is for people who represent no real threat to society.

Thank you for the thread, OP, it’s so important to engage people in this conversation and give an informed perspective. It’s great you’re doing so well and I wish you every happiness - you’ve paid your price and you deserve a good life.

Oops, just seen that's been asked already, sorry!
I know some people become officers in prisons because they are not very nice people and want to work somewhere they can feel powerful and better than everyone else.
DH had an ex who was a prison officer, she was physically abusive to the point of putting him in hospital (he didn't report her as he had nowhere else to live so he went back to her). So I can totally understand there being some very nasty people doing that job. I hope the kind ones make up for it.

Sorry, I meant women's prisons. There is a men's one not that far away, but a lot of my job is women's health and I would want to use those skills.

I couldn't believe my eyes when there was a salon! I couldn't get over that anyone would need a spray tan in prison!

Yeah you had a tv in your room, unless you'd been bad and had been put onto the basic regime in which case your tv was removed.

Yeah I had two random men write to me in jail, one who was serving ten years for armed robbery and the other life for murder. Obviously when they read my story in the paper they must thought I liked bad boys 🙈

Op thanks for such an enlightening thread.
I rarely post but you have compelled me to do so.
I absolutely wish you all the best and am so pleased that you have turned everything round.
I wish you well xx