I'm a dog AMA

[TonytheDog]

Woof woof woof 🐕

Who's a good dog??

woof! woof! grrr! (head tilt) woof!

Woof woof woof (My friend Douglas).

Why do you hate the postman?

Wooooof, woof woof. Woof!! Woof!!!

Woof woof woof woof woof. Woof woof woof.

(I love the postman. He's called Dave).

Can I ask you to ask my dog what on earth is making him woof so much at the moment? Is it his age (he’s a teenager)?

Also - rolling in fox shit and dead things. Why, just why?

Why are you dogs so greedy, why do you always try to nick food then give us side eye when we say no!!
You get lots of nice dinners, treats, but it's never enough!!!!

Does tripe taste as disgusting as it smells?(I'm assuming not)

Do you actually like your tummy tickled or do you just pretend to please us?

Why do some dogs eat their own / other dogs poo? What's that about?

Do you think that Dilyn (Boris Johnson's dog) should take over? You dogs seem like decent sorts most of you. 🐶

That thing you found under a bush on the Boxing Day walk that made you so ill, what was it?

@Spudlet

Can I ask you to ask my dog what on earth is making him woof so much at the moment? Is it his age (he’s a teenager)?

Also - rolling in fox shit and dead things. Why, just why?

He's barking because he wants you to buy him a new toy that he's allowed to rip to shreds. That's why I bark. I sometimes also bark when I hear someone walking on the pavement 10 miles away.

Rolling in fox shit is one my my favourite things to do. We like the smell and wear it like perfume. It also gives us status in the dog world and makes other dogs think we're cool.

@Roadhouse111

Why are you dogs so greedy, why do you always try to nick food then give us side eye when we say no!! You get lots of nice dinners, treats, but it's never enough!!!!

Because we're all greedy. You might buy what you think is nice food but we just want to eat - everything! Especially things we're not allowed to eat.

@Hellocatshome

Does tripe taste as disgusting as it smells?(I'm assuming not)

I'm not allowed to eat tripe 😞 🐕. My friends say it's nice but my human thinks I prefer food in a pouch or tin. I might ask for tripe tomorrow.

Woof, woof woof woof?

@RestingMurderousFace

Do you actually like your tummy tickled or do you just pretend to please us?

We love it!! But - only by people we like. People we don't like can't do it. I go camping and one of the tests we have to do is the 'tummy tickle' test. If we don't pass we're not allowed to camp. I don't mind when Mandy does it but Stewart is a wanker and I have to try quite hard not to bite his hand.

@Violet1988

Why do some dogs eat their own / other dogs poo? What's that about?

I don't do it. It's an acquired taste though and one of my friends eats my poor. I'm like this 🙄 🐕 when they do it.

My dog has a question:

Woof, woof woof-woof, grr, woof!! Woof woof woo woof?

Hmm, interesting?!

@Tealightsandd

Do you think that Dilyn (Boris Johnson's dog) should take over? You dogs seem like decent sorts most of you. 🐶

Don't tell anyone I told you but plans are afoot for exactly that. He's told me I'm going to be part of his cabinet. I think I'd like to be Home Secretary, I'd be good at that.

Do you eat your own sick?

eyes DDog disgustedly

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff

That thing you found under a bush on the Boxing Day walk that made you so ill, what was it?

According to the Daily Woof it was a dead squirrel.

Do your humans smell?

@ColinTheDachshund

Woof, woof woof woof?

Wooooif, woof wooof wooof wooof woof!!!!!!!!!!