I'm 23 stone AMA

[RainbowBriteUk]

Ask away!

If you’re struggling with binge eating, can I recommend this book. It’s based on CBT for eating disorders which is the approach used to treat binge eating. You might find putting these principles into action can help reduce how often you binge, whereas another diet may actually be counterproductive for you if you’re binging as you’ve described.

www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Binge-Eating-Second-Program-dp-1572305614/dp/1572305614/ref=dp_ob_title_bk?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Also, as another poster said up thread, a referral to an eating disorder service to assess for and treat binge eating disorder may be helpful.

Have you had therapy?

(I've had therapy myself, for dealing with family dynamics, so I"m pro- therapy!)

I have no answers but just wanted to say well done on your lucidity and honesty about exactly what you are eating. You have broken the wall of denial and that’s an important step.

I'd love to be a BMI of around 22 so around 12 stone. I am 5'6

I think you'd need to be a lot less than 12 stone to hit a BMI of 22.

I'm taller than you at 5ft 8in and would need to be 10 stone 7lb to be 22.

(NHS calculator)

@MagnoliatheMagnificent omg! So glad it's not just me. Wee doesn't dribble the top of my leg but when I sneeze I leak. Not good. I'm also finding I'm not having enough time to get to the toilet so often wetting myself which is really appalling! Do you have the same? The not having enough time really gets to me. I feel so ashamed.

@RainbowBriteUk I think to write this you've done a very difficult thing and I hope something that'll set you off on the path of nourishing yourself. You're punishing your body with food right now and need some help. It's not about a gastric band/ dieting as far as I can see but learning to love yourself enough to have a body you want to look after. I could (and have often) eaten like you and it's a habit like any other but it is possible to fix. I'm sending you lots of love and best wishes for the future you deserve

Sorry to be gross but can you still wipe your bum. That's my fear as I get fatter and older. I'm an 18 and can still do everything but I'd be lying if I said it's the same as when thin. My ideal weight is about 1/2 of what I am now.

Have you considered getting a gastric sleeve?

Are you a saver or a spender, OP? Do you make impulse purchases? I have a theory - based on years of struggling with my own weight - that part of the problem with losing weight is that it's a slow process - the pleasure is deferred - whereas eating gives instant satisfaction/pleasure - much like impulse spending. Same thing goes for smoking, and the stopping thereof. It really helped me to recognise this tendency in myself - and I came to that realisation through gardening, of all things! It takes time for plants to grow and bloom, there's no rushing it - helped me to develop patience that I was then able to apply elsewhere in my life. So, I was wondering whether you also struggle to visualise rewards that are some way off, and to take the necessary steps to achieve them?

Have you seen the documentary "Forks over Knives"? It changed the way I looked at food, it used to be on Netflix, not sure if it's still there?

Or Michael Mosley's "Eat, Fast, Live longer?

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01lxyzc

Not a question OP but it’s wanted to say that I hope you find a way to break out of the emotional eating cycle.

I have the same problem and my weight is just creeping up and up.

To the people asking why the OP started this thread - why shouldn't she? This is AMA, there are all sorts of different life experiences (including a gypsiologist ), if you're not interested then you don't have to contribute.

Anyway OP, I'm sorry you are struggling. Please be kind to yourself, from the list of food you eat, it sounds like a food addiction or compulsion. Maybe you could try CBT or overeaters anonymous.

I hope you get the help you need to get to a healthy place

Have you thought of contacting BEAT for support?

Maybe this page of their website might resonate with you?

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/types/binge-eating-disorder

From what you have written it looks as if you may suffer from binge eating which is emotional.

Are your MH issues being treated in the context of your over-eating?

I'd never heard of Overeaters Anonymous but it seems you have to become a Christian as part of it

[quote Imnotbent]@EveningOverRooftops I remember reading that Dawn French said she really struggled adapting to her new body shape after losing her weight.[/quote]
Yes. I’m having wobbles already. My loss isn’t down to skinny size either. I’m still ‘fat’.

Not liking the new attention from blokes. I wish they’d all get in the sea tbf.

I’m missing my boobs losing volume but as the same time so happy my butt crack isn’t so deep. I’ve got long hair and when showering it falls out and gets in there. Easy to deal with that palaver now. Probably not what you were expecting to read sorry

My feet have shrunk 1 shoe size so I can wear some of the shoes I have in comfort now. Others hurt and give me blisters now.

My hip bones have less padding and I’m always hitting them it hurts a lot. I’m still over estimating and under estimating my size. It’s like I can quite gauge where my body is in the world if that makes sense. If only hips had whiskers to let us know.

I can’t regulate my body temp well atm. I’m either too hot or too cold. Pre loss I was just warm all the time with cold hands and feet. Now my knees are getting cold or my chest is. I guess that’s just down to where I’ve lost fat layers. I found myself needing to wear jumpers for longer. This spring

My upper Pubic region isn’t so fatty now. Orgasm is easier solo don’t know with a bloke. I’m avoiding them

Peeing is easier and cleaner. It’s a more directed flow.

There’s a LOT of change. Some good. Some bad. Just hoping the good outweighs the bad as I carry on with the loss!

Weight is such a complex issue and what you are saying illustrates it so clearly.I have been overweight off and on my whole life. I have been a size 24 and last summer was a size 12. Currently a 14.
I can not explain what happens to me when I lose control. I know exactly how to eat healthily and lose weight but unless something in my head is in the right place, I just can not do it. I have default eating patterns that I fall back into which can be shocking and I am ashamed of them. I hide them from my DH.
For example, yesterday I ate a whole packet of Rocky caramel chocolate biscuits (which I had bought for the builder tomorrow) in the car on the way home from the garden centre . I will have to get some more in the morning. Then I ate a grab bag of salted crisps. When I arrived home, DH was at PIL with DC so I cleaned my teeth and washed my face incase I smelled of crisps. I was utterly disgusted with myself.
I can eat two bars of chocolate at once in minutes. I have no idea why I do it. It is so self-destructive and yet comforting when I am doing it. I have nothing in my life to 'blame' for this behaviour.
I am fit- I walk 8-10 miles most days, more at weekends and have done since DS1 was born 6 years ago. It is all that keeps any control on my weight when my eating control is lost. It is my responsibility what I eat. I am scared of diabetes, incontinence , I hate what being fat does to my body, especially my stomach but I am currently 16lbs heavier than I was in October and a tight dress size bigger.

OP I have no questions, just wanted to say I am probably a similar BMI and I really understand. In my respect, I have binge eating disorder. Interestingly when I eat healthily I have very little appetite so I do also wonder if I am addicted to sugar!

@LuluJakey1

Weight is such a complex issue and what you are saying illustrates it so clearly.I have been overweight off and on my whole life. I have been a size 24 and last summer was a size 12. Currently a 14. I can not explain what happens to me when I lose control. I know exactly how to eat healthily and lose weight but unless something in my head is in the right place, I just can not do it. I have default eating patterns that I fall back into which can be shocking and I am ashamed of them. I hide them from my DH. For example, yesterday I ate a whole packet of Rocky caramel chocolate biscuits (which I had bought for the builder tomorrow) in the car on the way home from the garden centre . I will have to get some more in the morning. Then I ate a grab bag of salted crisps. When I arrived home, DH was at PIL with DC so I cleaned my teeth and washed my face incase I smelled of crisps. I was utterly disgusted with myself. I can eat two bars of chocolate at once in minutes. I have no idea why I do it. It is so self-destructive and yet comforting when I am doing it. I have nothing in my life to 'blame' for this behaviour. I am fit- I walk 8-10 miles most days, more at weekends and have done since DS1 was born 6 years ago. It is all that keeps any control on my weight when my eating control is lost. It is my responsibility what I eat. I am scared of diabetes, incontinence , I hate what being fat does to my body, especially my stomach but I am currently 16lbs heavier than I was in October and a tight dress size bigger.

The link I left for the OP from BEAT has help and on that page you can follow links to 'treatment' and their own support groups. Might be worth looking at?

Hi OP,

Weight is a really complex issue, i'm sorry you are struggling with it. It is not an easy thing to get under control and manage.

Do you have family? sons or daughters? Long term partner or DH? Please think of them, and try to talk to a therapist or your GP to try to get your health/weight under control so you can live a long and healthy life with them.

I know that is easier said than done, but sometimes it can take a health scare to shock you into a healthy lifestyle, so try consider a change before anything bad happens.

Had a horrible health scare in my family in the last 24 hours, and it has shocked some family members to get their diet under control - Sorry this isnt much of a question OP, and i dont want it to sound like a lecture, just trying to offer some 'advice'

[quote Joeblack066]@RainbowBriteUk your BMI would be 27 at 12st and 5’6” not 22.[/quote]
Yes, I was thinking this - I'm 5'6" and at 11st3lbs I'm just about not overweight and BMI maybe 24. It goes up to 25 now and then but I try to keep it under the overweight category.

@MrsSteveMcDonald

I'd never heard of Overeaters Anonymous but it seems you have to become a Christian as part of it

You don't at all. Higher power can be what you want it to be

I have put on a huge amount of weight recently and find that I am sweating a lot. Do you sweat and if you do where are the main places. I am just trying to compare and since you are so honest I figured you will not feel weird for me asking. armpits, under boob and sometimes my inner thighs are my places .Hats of to you for starting the thread too.

Your thread has triggered me to get of my fat ass and do something about it. I've been in denial far too long.... Thank you

What is going through your mind when your lifting the fork to your mouth/dipping your hand in the packet etc? Is your mind just blank and eating is just a learned habit that you don’t even think about when you’re doing it?

[quote RainbowBriteUk]@altlife Definitely comfort eating following traumatic break ups, job losses, health etc. It's a vicious circle.

@AlmostSummer21 I suppose to tell everyone to really watch their weight. Being fat is a miserable existence. I think it can also make an interesting topic.[/quote]
I just asked because I know you have (or have had) MH Issues and I'm worried about you. Doing the AMA's often is a form of self punishment and I don't think they're a great idea.

Believe it or not, you're lucky.

You're young & you are able to lose weight.

I have health issues (genuinely) that mean I cannot. And getting older (52) it's getting harder to maintain AND my skin has lost a lot of its elasticity, so even at the same weight I look fatter because, well, everything is starting to droop!

This is AMA, not give me unwanted advice, so I won't say much except 'take it from an older person, do it now while you can!'

& be careful with this AMA 💐