I'm 23 stone AMA

[RainbowBriteUk]

Ask away!

Have you thought about weight los surgery? I have but think I’ve decided against it, at least for now.

'Do you add anything to overnight oats apart from water?'

Yes, oat milk and frozen berries. Sounds very boring I know! but honestly it is tasty, filling and good for you plus the berries make it sweet. Oats help keep blood sugars stable and can bring cholesterol down.

Do you ever think about the possibility of a heart attack? Do you suffer with sleep apnoea?

I have a male friend of your height and weight. He had a heart attack nearly 2 years ago. Im so glad he survived but since then, hes not lost any weight, and is always making excuses about why not (reality is that he isnt even trying) He looks soo ill (pale, sweaty all the time) and can barely walk without having to stop for a rest every few steps.

@jelly79 If I am genuinely hungry I do, otherwise no. It's just a taste and a feeling of temporary satisfaction.

@Roadtohades I have done WW before but have found I am able to do the healthy eating just as well and for cheaper at home!

@Wrongnamegame4

Have you thought about weight los surgery? I have but think I’ve decided against it, at least for now.

I don’t know about the OP but I pondered it then decided against.

I think it’s just as hard as losing weight the traditional way but for very different reasons.

I personally saw the really restrictive post surgery diet and the super fast weight loss as a potential trigger for me into even more disordered eating/poor habits and the stats on weight gain after surgery ‘success’ did have me concerned.

In also aware there will be loose skin when o get back down to my ‘safe’ weight. Doing it the traditional way, slowly, I’m going to get used to my body changing over a greater time frame (and I’ll be giving myself the headspace to adjust to that) and won’t be faced with the shock of my new body.

I’d also rather spend the money for weight loss surgery on getting my boobs done if I need to and a tummy tuck if the loose skin is that bad. If it doesn’t bother me much I’ll use the funds to travel.

The pp who asked about affording take aways. I'm fat. Not this weight but definitely fat! It's interesting there is undoubtedly an assumption fat people are a bit thick. So op wouldn't be earning highly.

I'm educated to postgraduate level, I got a first class degree, a distinction for Masters and As at A level and I'm doing well in my career. But I am aware of the assumptions people make about intelligence, work and fatness.

Thanks OP.

I have had very limited contact with my family for over a year and it’s need the one thing that’s helped me lose weight.

My poor family relationships are directly related to my poor eating habits.

If I don’t see them I eat well. If I do see them I eat poorly.

Bacon sandwiches, McDonalds for lunch and a curry with all the trimmings for tea. Also had four Wispa bars one after the other.

It's not unknown that I have had three quarters of a small cake for breakfast. Not normal!!!

Have you asked your GP for referral for therapy for an eating disorder?

The amount of food you eat is huge. So it's not about hunger, is it?

If your GP is not on your case, have you considered paying for private therapy to help you understand why you are harming yourself in this way?

Go on @Neonprint! Same here, very good job and of reasonable intelligence. Just had a fair few fuck ups in life that means I make bad health choices.

If you say 'the fuck ups' cause you to 'make bad health choices' what would help you deal with those emotions in a healthier way?

Do you accept you have choices?

Have you been referred for an eating disorder and / or bariatric surgery?
Are you diabetic / prediabetic?

You seem very flexible are you young, sorry if I missed your age.
My friend was 24 stone but in her 40’s and she couldn’t cut her toenails, she struggled to wipe her bum, she was always tired and had non specific pains, struggled with stairs and could never have run for a bus, she could walk for miles though. Her stomach got in the way of sex both missionary and on top, she did have children though, under specialist care. She told me eating food gave her so much pleasure it was akin to orgasm.

When she developed diabetes she had surgery on the NHS and that included psychiatric input to address her eating. She’s kept her weight off over 4 years now and is very active.

Do you add anything to overnight oats apart from water I do 40g of oats mixed into as much fat free yogurt as I want then top with frozen blueberries, strawberries and what over frozen berries I fancy. Stick it in the fridge over night and then in the morning mix all the fruit into it. It's nice with fat free quark as well as it takes on a cheesecake consistency but without all the guilt of an actual cheesecake

Do you find that you have a harder time being treated for your endometriosis because of your weight?

Oh she had sleep apnea too and used CPAP, (contributed to tiredness) she doesn’t need it now.

I can relate to your post. Similar situation but something seemed to click in me about 5 months ago. I am eating much better, getting regular, intentional exercise and have lost about 30 lbs. Every minute of every day is a struggle. At any moment that click that happened in January could flip right back. Like you, I take great comfort from food. There were times in my life when I would have told you that food was my friend. I eat when I am stressed, happy, mad, bored. Even now...but its carrot instead of sweets. I have bad days but keep plugging along. I was thinner when I was younger and had no problems with fertility. I think if I had it may have been the wake up call I needed. Funny thing, I had two sets of twins and only gained 4 pounds the first one and 8 pounds the 2nd set. I monitored every bite I took so they would be healthy. Me being healthy? Clearly not the incentive I need.

Best of luck to you. Thanks for posting. It was enlightening to read the comments.

Do you want to end this cycle of emotional eating?

Do you want to deal perhaps with the emotional trauma that's behind it?

How could you find help to do that?

(I hope you can! :) )

Hi op, I would just like to give you a cuddle, I am sorry about your MH issues. You sound lovely.

I don't eat highly processed foods as I genuinely don't like it and I am trying to imagine if I was forced to eat what you are compelled to eat through comfort eating.

For me it would be torture and it would be my worst nightmare. Not only that but you are forced to carry it around like heavy rucksacks on your front and back, so almost as if your torturer is parading you as a form of debilitating humiliation.

I am so sorry you are in this cycle. Is there a mindful way to overcome this kind of self flagellation?

Is there a way of imagining a kind and thoughtful voice in your head who loves you and can try and guide you and protect you from this self destructive side?

I am trying to imagine what it must be like to be compelled, against your will like this.

I don't have a weight problem because I actively dislike all processed foods and I look forward to a small dish of something per day, so you would be eating one day, the equivalent of what I would eat in 2-3 weeks.

Could hypnotherapy help do you think?

I really hope there is a 'cure' for a lack of willpower. Certainly I believe it is a MH issue that manifests itself as a food issue.

I wish you lots and lots of good will and hope for the future and I am sorry there are so many judgemental and nasty people out there, you don't deserve that.

You have lots going for you in life and I wish you well.

One last thought, could you ask all your local fast food places not to serve you?

Good luck op

@RainbowBriteUk thank you. I didn't mean to scare you by the way. Everyone is so shocked because they've never heard of someone so young dying of heart failure, and we never would have thought he was as high risk as it turns out that he was. I think cholesterol and blood pressure are good ones to keep on top of as they can be risk factors along with weight etc.

@Lemonelderflower

Sorry if my response was harsh, its just sadly too many people in real life feel emboldened to ask that question.

@EveningOverRooftops I remember reading that Dawn French said she really struggled adapting to her new body shape after losing her weight.

I have a question: when you wee does it ever dribble onto the fat bit at the top of your legs? Do you have any continence issues?
I’m quite big although a few stone lighter than you and I do have these problems...

[quote RainbowBriteUk]@HelloMissus I went to the doctor about my MH issues and was helped to a degree. I know I have to help myself and i'm slowly improving and getting to a good place in life. Hooray!

@PoppyWoods My feet are fine, which is a rarity I know! I do bathe and moisturise daily so maybe that helps?

@BentBabyBastard Answered upthread

@MizMoonshine Absolutely!!! Shall we do weekly weight-ins? Would love to buddy up!

@Thomasina2021 No I haven't. Is it hard to follow and time consuming?

@Straysocks Aww, thank you very much!

@Pebbledashery I have probably once. Weirdly, even though my self-confidence isn't always great, I don't care what people in a restaurant think of me. I love eating out and fine food!

@3AndStopping and @nellly Aww, thank you for your kind words :)

@Iwantanap My infertility massively concerns me so I get stressed and eat more! Arrgghhh! Only I can help myself though and if I want it bad enough...

@Pursefirst answered upthread :)

@JaniieJones I'm not hungry all the time. I probably don't know what hunger feels like when i'm at home or WFH. In the office I get hunger pangs. My body just craves it to feel better. Do you add anything to overnight oats apart from water?

@EveningOverRooftops I couldn't have put it better myself. Well done on your weight loss! That is fantastic!!! I'm proud of you and I don't even know you but I genuinely am!

@Joeblack066 Ahh, thanks :)[/quote]
OP no it’s very simple and deals with carb addiction (obv). If you want more info I woos recommend starting with this fab site for its (free) info
www.dietdoctor.com/

My daughter was heading towards the 18 stone mark at 22 years old, has a number of health conditions including PCOS so finds it very difficult to lose weight. She has just had a gastric sleeve abroad - nhs wait was around 2 years or 10k privately. She has lost a stone and a half in a fortnight and does not regret it for a moment. Would you consider such extreme interventions ?

How old are you? X