I'm a born-again christian single parent - AMA

[midwifeinthemaking]

Just that really - would love to answer any questions, dispel myths etc.

@TitusPullo thank you

@Krazynights34

To the pp above - marriage existed in ancient cultures- pre-Christian, do definitely not something the Catholic Church invented

Thank you. The church trying to interfere with civil same sex marriages being legalised like they some how had a monopoly on it made my blood boil.

The OP's posts are so confused.

Fundamentally I believe that anyone who tells their small child that they're a sinner and will go to hell if they don't do X / do do Y, doesn't believe gay people should be able to be gay, thinks dressing 'immodestly' will give the poor menz lustful thoughts and that's somehow the woman's problem, sounds like a bit of an arsehole.

The reason there's a plan...but it's fluid... but prayer might help, but it might not,. ..because of this fluid plan...

is because God just doesn't exist - except in the minds of humans.

Just as time only exists as a concept - yes, the passing of moments exists, but 3 o'clock doesn't "exist". it's a human construct to help us understand the passing of time and all that.

God is just a human construct to try and help us understand the world - be that in the form of Yahweh, Freja, Zeus or any other god.

The problem Christianity has, is that it's rule book is fundamentally flawed, it was written by various authors at various times often decades after said events and without contemporary evidence. It's been translated, edited to exclude entire books, edited to suit a narrative... It's mish mash of nonsense, which some people "believe is true". And consequently get themselves stuck when asked hard questions, so have to resort to "God has a plan... that is fluid... that we can never know or comprehend ..but also free will. but also the plan"

you may as well, grab all the books you have right now on your bookshelf about well being, self-help and mindfulness, cut them up a bit, stick them together and call it the New Bible and start a religion from it.

I'd appreciate if you read my previous post about not taking the whole bible literally

OP, if you don't take the whole bible literally, how do you decide etch bits are "true" and which aren't?

Also, how do you cope with the cognitive dissonance that arises from the conflicting notions of God as a loving father and the God that is portrayed in the bible as being horribly abusive? I know that you are a single parent, but if your dd's dad was around, would you find it loving for him to treat her in the same abusive manner?

And if God is loving, why do you think he allows so much needless suffering to happen? Does he lack the power to make things better, or does he lack the will?

The reason there's a plan...but it's fluid... but prayer might help, but it might not,. ..because of this fluid plan...

Yes and if you have a sick child, praying is the difference between god's 'fluid plan' allowing them to live or die!

Bonkers

How do you define judgement? You clearly believe some actions are right and others wrong, what is that if not judging? Personally I have no problem with the idea of right, wrong and in between, but I also don't claim not to judge!

Life does not just seem unfair. Life is hugely unfair.

I’m sorry, I’m still not understanding how you are able to logically combine that with the existence of a benevolent God. I guess maybe that’s where the faith comes in. But I cannot imagine having been able to look at my vomiting, weeping, bald daughter and tell her it’s all in God’s plan AND that God loves her. How does that work?

I can see that it’s comforting and reassuring if you can believe that. But I can’t.

Guess it’s off to hell then! Ah well. I shall continue trying to live the best life I can according to my own morals.

You say you don't take the Bible literally. So why do you think same se marriage shouldn't be allowed? I believe the bible is true.

The Bible has nothing to say against same sex marriage.

Salvation by faith alone or works, OP?

I'm (believe it or not!) all for having faith and belief in a deity if that's what helps guide you. but have faith in the "idea" of God - not faith in a book that is a terribly constructed as the Bible.

The fundamentals of Christianity are actually sound and good ideals (imo). i.e. be kind, don't judge, help others, don't lust after things (be happy with your lot), don't be a hypocrite, treat others fairly etc.

But, the Bible actually distracts from this by having rules and laws, whist perhaps pertinent at the time of writing (eg, perhaps it was sensible to be careful of cleanliness 350 years ago, when sanitation wasn't so great!) just don't hold up with modern life. So to imply that someone is going to Hell, or a bad person, because some bloke decided to translate a foreign document 300 years ago to say that "women must shut up in church" is just nonsense.

@donquixotedelamancha

You say you don't take the Bible literally. So why do you think same se marriage shouldn't be allowed? I believe the bible is true.

The Bible has nothing to say against same sex marriage.

Salvation by faith alone or works, OP?

well, it does... sort of, Genesis 2:24 defines marriage as a union between one man and one woman. and Matthew 19:5 says about a man holding fast to his wife.

so, by implication, two men or two women cannot be married. If you believe that sort of thing...

marriage is very much a product of the Catholic Church, there’s no marriage or ceremony of any description in the bible so why is so much weight put on it.

Eh? Marriage predates the Catholic church by at least many centuries, probably millennia. It occurs in cultures with almost no influence from Catholicism.

Christian marriage predates formalisation of the Catholic church and occurs in churches which were never part of the Roman tradition.

Loads of people are married in the Bible. Jesus even attends a wedding.

@toocold54

The "everything happens for a reason" is Def the stick in my throat point. Jack above died, it was for the greater good. Slowly and in pain bit hey ho, it's all good, God did it for a reason...

I am an atheist but I get why people tell themselves that things happen for a reason. If someone is going to die slowly and painfully anyway I get why people would want to believe they are happy and at peace now. I would like to be religious for that reason as it is often so depressing thinking about all of the bad things in the world.

I get the desire, I do. My DS spent 18 months in and out of hospital, he has consequences of those early months now at 5 and at best for years to come bad were LUCKY!! We're the lucky ones with a child to hold. And I'd love to think that all that suffering meant something, but all it means is he's still here. He quite easily could have suffered all of that and died. And his suffering wouldn't have been for anything bar the time we had together. But that isn't a reason for it to happen. I'm not a better person for it. DH isn't really and certainly not enough to make a difference, DS isn't and certainly not enough to justify the suffering. And that's us with a child who survived

... I think we've lost the OP :/

Sorry, yes I wasn’t clear at all. Marriage in lots of forms existed pre and separate from Christianity. I meant that a lot of stuff I am preached to about the importance of chastity and marriage is for life has zero roots in the bible and in Christian churches can be traced to the Catholic Church, added to an amended frequently (when talking about something as old).

In an endeavour to be brief and clear I was vague and wrong.

I'd love non-christians to experience the freedom and happiness I have found

What freedom do you have that you didn't have before?

@Nith

I'd love non-christians to experience the freedom and happiness I have found

What freedom do you have that you didn't have before?

apparently, the freedom to blame rape victims... the freedom to scare kids into being good... the freedom to believe women should be subservient to men....

I find the idea that we are all inherently selfish, and that we need God (or maybe the fear of hell?) to encourage us to be good/moral to be quite a depressing view of humanity.

Do you think that non-believers, who lack any sense of God and/or a fear of hell, are consequently more selfish/less moral than Christians, because they are led by their inherently selfish human nature?

How would you explain altruistic acts by people without faith if people are inherently selfish and sinful?

so, by implication, two men or two women cannot be married.

A lot of Christian magisterium is extrapolated a from similarly weak pretext. I don't disagree that's the tradition but I do disagree that scripture is the basis of that tradition.

Genesis is allegorical and Matthew had no cultural basis which would lead him to use gay marriage to make his point.

@donquixotedelamanchathis is the fundamental flaw of the Bible.. it's nonsense and mostly irrelevant..

I meant that a lot of stuff I am preached to about the importance of chastity and marriage is for life has zero roots in the bible and in Christian churches can be traced to the Catholic Church

Well that's hardly surprising, the Catholic church was (largely) the Christian church for it's first 1600 years.

But monogamous marriage was inherited from Judaism and I would suggest that the sex-negative strand in Christianity/Catholicism was largely a cultural reaction to the moral corruption of ancient Rome.

If OP is a Calvinist (as suggested by her belief in predestination) then her views on sex outside marriage probably make modern Catholicism look like a swingers club nlby comparison.

No I don't believe they should.

You don't believe churches should be able to perform same sex marriages or you don't believe gay people should have to live celibate lives?

So ..you're going to be a midwife soon ..I really really hope that when you deliver a highly deformed child , or still born , or deal later with children with spina bifida or cystic fybrosis, you dont come trilling out with a vague its god's plan ....you are in the midst of absolute horror very often in that job, and your belief system asserts that god designed it that way . I hope you learn to keep quiet about that .

is the fundamental flaw of the Bible.. it's nonsense and mostly irrelevant.

Everyone needs a hobby. It's certainly possible to put the tenets of Christianity to fairly objective historical study and say (for example):

There was a bloke called Jesus- true.

He was the son of god- core belief of all contiguous Christianity, supported by the bible.

Being gay is wrong- belief held by most branches but little biblical support and not core.

My hat is off to you, OP. Starting this AMA was quite brave. There have been similar ones in the past with similar results.

I'm also a Christian, but am a member of a progressive denomination in the US that is a direct successor to the C of E. We ordain gay clergy and think that issues like sex before marriage is an individual choice that should be considered carefully. I'm just adding this to the discussion to make the point that there are diverse views within Christianity. My beliefs still have a lot in common with yours, OP.