Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AMA
Original poster

My partner is addicted to crack and heroin AMA

354 replies

Adventuritis · 18/01/2021 23:51

Just want to be able to help if anyone has suspicions about a loved one...
There are so many misconceptions.

OP posts:
MabelWotsits · 22/01/2021 00:09

Is sex totally out of the question like it was for the heroin addict I knew? (He died aged 44 at his DD's 12th birthday party, in front of all her friends)

He was such a lovely lovely man but my God I wish my sister had never met him.

Yohoheaveho · 22/01/2021 00:26

@MabelWotsits

Is sex totally out of the question like it was for the heroin addict I knew? (He died aged 44 at his DD's 12th birthday party, in front of all her friends)

He was such a lovely lovely man but my God I wish my sister had never met him.

How terrible and tragic🥺 I'm so sorry💐
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 22/01/2021 00:32

Why do you not think you are worth more than this life?

DateLoaf · 22/01/2021 00:56

Mabel that is horrendous. Flowers
OP this is disturbing to read, because of the risks and damage to you. Seems like you are holding people at arms’ length to benefit his privacy, if so that’s another personal cost for you to bear long term?

I wondered if you’d considered ending it for your kids’ sake, to avoid damage to them. If big secrets are kept from children by a parent, the loss of trust when they discover can have devastating effects on the relationship. As well as obviously on the teenager or adult child who’s had the truth kept from them.
Presumably your kids will also want access to your emotional energy from time to time. Or just to you know, just to do nice things with you occasionally. Like maybe go on holiday with you at some point. They’ll want your mind fully there with them and not to see you worrying about your boyfriend back at home. The emotional detachment you said you keep isn’t possible for them to have in relation to your boyfriend either, if they aren’t aware of his situation, even if that’s something they could manage to do.

LegendDairy · 22/01/2021 00:57

What positives does he bring to the relationship?

What is in your future together?

DateLoaf · 22/01/2021 01:03

OwlLovesTea could you recommend the title of the book that you read, that sounds like a good one?

kylesmybaby · 22/01/2021 01:23

How big is the hole in his groin he injects into?
Or the abscesses he gets from missing/popping a vein?

kylesmybaby · 22/01/2021 01:27

Smilycare - he would never be in withdrawal. He gets enough methadone to keep him from ever being sick. He uses because he can - enabled by the OP of course.

Original poster
Adventuritis · 22/01/2021 02:56

@kylesmybaby

How big is the hole in his groin he injects into? Or the abscesses he gets from missing/popping a vein?
Has never done either of these things! But thanks for your question Hmm
OP posts:
Original poster
Adventuritis · 22/01/2021 02:57

@kylesmybaby

Smilycare - he would never be in withdrawal. He gets enough methadone to keep him from ever being sick. He uses because he can - enabled by the OP of course.
Not true,
OP posts:
Backbee · 22/01/2021 03:52

I don't think many addicts give up drugs because they're upset by the human cost and implications to other people!!

True, because they're selfish.

isthismylifenow · 22/01/2021 07:10

OP, why won't you answer the numerous people asking how you met?

PartoftheProbl3m · 22/01/2021 07:17

All methadone users use on top

PartoftheProbl3m · 22/01/2021 07:17

Plus also surprised he hasn’t got abscesses.

Nonamesavail · 22/01/2021 07:21

If his PIP stopped and he couldn't afford it...would he steal from you or put you in danger?

OwlLovesTea · 22/01/2021 07:23

There is another thread in AMA and the poster gradually weaned herself off methadone very gradually.even a reduction of 1ml was felt, so i admire that poster so much. She got there.

N0ManJan · 22/01/2021 07:41

Hi OP, I wonder if you’ll talk about how you met/or how long you were together before this came out or if you knew at the start of the relationship?

You say he is 40 now, how long has he been an addict?

I hope you understand that while some of these questions and posts might be hard to read it’s still worth exploring, even if you’re not comfortable enough to answer here.

N0ManJan · 22/01/2021 07:44

@MrsBobDylan

Don't move to a new area with him. You said he finds it easy to score when you are on a day trip to another town. If you move to a new area, his addiction will definitely be the first thing he brings with him.

Also, I don't think pp was saying that addicts care about where their drugs come from and the human cost, she was saying that you should care.

This is a great point @Adventuritis. Whenever you’ve gone away he’s been able to find drugs with ease. Moving to a new area will just take you away from your support system.
pilates · 22/01/2021 07:58

“With regards to the cost you're looking at about £50 a day most days - UC and PIP can pretty much cover this plus there's a few legit jobs here and there”

What are the legit jobs he does?

What do you see your future life will be with him?

Couchbettato · 22/01/2021 08:22

I really hope the OP takes on board what every one has been saying. OP seems to care more about her addict partners life than the lives of those involved in the trade.

OP, can you not see how it still seems like you have a hero complex? Because you're so wound up in protecting your partner against a bunch of internet strangers rather than the disgusting things that happen to men, women and children to get this one single man his fix.

Wyntersdiary · 22/01/2021 08:30

Nice, a homeless druggie. Good catch.

pickyomix · 22/01/2021 08:41

Hi @Adventuritis Brave thread! I have some relevant experience and honestly, no judgment here but I am curious.

How did you meet and how far in did you find out about his addiction?

I think you sound level headed and well informed but I can't get past the level of dishonesty that generally comes with addiction.
You can't know that he doesn't lie to you about how he gets his drugs, what he does when he isn't with you and I do worry that you appear to very trusting.

My guess that your friends are probably far more worried than they are telling you but have probably made the decision to keep quiet and support rather than challenge and possibly alienate you. It's what I'd do.

Please, whatever else you do, don't move away and give up your support network to help your partner get clean. He can move, he can go to rehab and recover elsewhere if that's what he thinks will work for him but I strongly feel that you should not go with him.

pickyomix · 22/01/2021 08:42

@PartoftheProbl3m

All methadone users use on top
That isn't true. Yes a lot do, but not all. People can and do use methadone to reduce and get clean.
JudyGemstone · 22/01/2021 09:15

@MabelWotsits

Is sex totally out of the question like it was for the heroin addict I knew? (He died aged 44 at his DD's 12th birthday party, in front of all her friends)

He was such a lovely lovely man but my God I wish my sister had never met him.

I already asked this, she ignored it
Pinotpleasure · 22/01/2021 09:24

I’ve just binged-watched “The Serpent” true life drama series on the BBC iPlayer.

There seems to be a similarity between the character traits of French-Canadian ‘Monique’ (acted by Jenna Coleman) and the O/P Adventuritis

Swipe left for the next trending thread