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AMA

I was the OW during an affair. AMA

299 replies

PeachesTheFlamingo · 23/10/2020 15:03

I was single. He was married with two children. We had a sexual relationship for approximately 12 months. Ask me anything...

(Yes, I am aware and understand that this post may attract a lot of flame and "So what?", "Who cares?" comments ......but I've created it for anyone who may want to ask relevant questions.

OP posts:
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kathrynjanewaykicksass · 23/10/2020 15:07

Were you in love? Did he consider leaving his wife for you?

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MMM2 · 23/10/2020 15:10

did you know he was married at the start of the relationship, and did you know his wife?

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OhioOhioOhio · 23/10/2020 15:11

Why did you stop the affair?

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Twinkie01 · 23/10/2020 15:13

How would you feel if you was the wife? How could you do this? He is obviously a scumbag to start a relationship with you without ending his marriage so what made him so attractive?

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DonLewis · 23/10/2020 15:14

Why?

Why do that? And why start a thread about it? What insights do you think you have?

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BigButtons · 23/10/2020 15:19

What do you hope to gain from starting this thread? That is a genuine question.

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Displayname · 23/10/2020 15:20

Who pursued who and how.

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headstrong27 · 23/10/2020 15:22

What attracted you to that him in those circumstances?

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PeachesTheFlamingo · 23/10/2020 15:22

@kathrynjanewaykickass
Were you in love? Did he consider leaving his wife for you?

Yes, I was.

I knew him before he was married. We had a brief fling way back then. We were both young at the time.. very early 20s. I was head over heels in love, but he wasn't ready to settle down.

We stayed in touch over the years, as friends. I met someone else. A few years later, he did too. They went on to marry and have children. I was happy for him, but for me, he was always "the one that got away".

Then, my 9 year relationship ended and he was going through a rocky patch in his marriage (he suspected his wife had an affair. Their sex life was non existent).

Our usual friendly texts became flirty and we arranged to meet up. That's how the affair started.

At the time, I don't think he had any intention of leaving his wife for me. However, since the affair ended, he has told me that he did consider leaving his wife for me.

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WunWun · 23/10/2020 15:22

Why are you proud enough of it to start the thread?

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Oxyiz · 23/10/2020 15:23

Why on earth would you start a thread about this?

FFS don't let this become your identity.

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PeachesTheFlamingo · 23/10/2020 15:23

@MMM2

did you know he was married at the start of the relationship, and did you know his wife?

Yes, I knew he was married.
No, I didn't know his wife. I have never met her.

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feministfemme · 23/10/2020 15:24

Are you happy? Was it for an ego boost? Why start a thread?

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FairFridaythe13th · 23/10/2020 15:25

You never thought ‘I could be the wife - how would I feel’ or did you think ‘I saw him first’?

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TheQueef · 23/10/2020 15:27

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Happyspud · 23/10/2020 15:27

I genuinely always wonder, when life can be so hard and painful, how you could do this to another human being? It's very cruel. Would it have killed both of you to at least do it fairly?

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headstrong27 · 23/10/2020 15:29

Did you want him to leave his wife?

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PeachesTheFlamingo · 23/10/2020 15:29

@OhioOhioOhio

Why did you stop the affair?

I had been in love with him for a very long time. In my eyes, he was "The one that got away". Since our brief fling many moons ago, I had fantasised about us being together for many years.

However, once we began seeing each other, the excitement dwindled and I realised I had put his on a pedestal and built him up to be the answer to my happiness. The reality did not live up to the fantasy and I fell out of love with him.

I was also in a very vulnerable state during the affair and I felt that he was taking advantage of that to get sex. We were friends before we started to have sex. I started to feel less like a friend and more like I was being used.

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Enormouscroc · 23/10/2020 15:29

Bizarre attention seeking thread. I imagine you have very little confidence irl.

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TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 23/10/2020 15:32

How do you know that his sex life with his wife was non-existent?

Other than believing the oldest line in the adulterer's handbook (how to reel in a gullible lover), that is?

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FairFridaythe13th · 23/10/2020 15:33

He told her, silly. Now why on earth would a man lie to get a woman into bed...😐

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peakygal · 23/10/2020 15:33

So you justify sleeping with someone else's husband by saying he was the one who got away? Also their sex life was non existent doesn't give you the right to sleep with him. Then starting a thread about it shows the type of person you are

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Scweltish · 23/10/2020 15:34

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Heronsnest · 23/10/2020 15:36

Did you believe him when he said he had no sex life at home? Did you join in when he was criticising his wife? Did you ever think about his kids?
Actually, I don't care what your answers are. Jog on.

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Derelictwreck · 23/10/2020 15:36

scweltish do you get off on the fact you're behaving like an asshole?

Don't be so misogynistic and rude.

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