Married at 16. AMA.

[baconbits]

I got married at sixteen. I know this is a controversial topic so if you'd like to - AMA.

Good luck, OP.
I think it's a bit weird that some of the posters on this thread think that experience and trying a guy out for a bit will make for a happy marriage. I got together with the father of my children when I was in my early 30s, and man, did I pick a wrong 'un

I got married at 19 and was divorced and remarried before I was 30! 🤷🏻‍♀️

@ProudAuntie76 I mean yeah, it is a bit sad. I don't have a good relationship with them but ultimately I don't think them advocating for waiting would have made the relationship better. I think that could only have been received well if we'd been very close prior. I'm very happy with my choices in relation to marriage though.

@SenselessUbiquity Thank you! I'm very sorry you had a hard time with the father of your children though. I hope you're having a better / happier time now!

@Isadora2007 Has that changed your perspective on young marriage, or do you attribute that to your personal experiences only?

My son is nearly 16. No way is he old enough to be in a committed relationship or he get married.

Good luck to you OP.
I also married as a teenager, although I was 18. I had been with DH 10 months. We also only had 2 witnesses at our wedding neither of whom were family.
It has been 19 years and 2 children and we are still going strong, we have grown together not apart.
No questions.

@Coffeeandbeans Good luck to you and your son! It's definitely not a choice I'd be recommending to the majority, but I think it can work for certain people. He can get married anytime he feels he's ready and is with the right person (providing he wants to get married). x

Oh I just thought DD1 is 16 and she’s quite immature really the thought of her being married 😮

I met DH at 19 but we didn’t get married until I was 39 (we must be the opposites to OP) 😀

@YellowishZebra Amazing, congratulations! I do think that when you know you know, though I acknowledge it's easy to think other things are love when you haven't experienced proper love before. What would you say to people who thought you married too young? Thank you for contributing, it's great to hear a success story. x

@sweetkitty Definitely not the choice for everyone, nor the choice a lot of people want at a young age! I'm accepting of the fact that I'm in a minority . What made you want to hold off on getting married- e.g. was it an active choice or was marriage just not a priority for you? x

Who proposed marriage?

@EvieRussell Interesting question! He technically proposed, though we had several conversations discussing it prior. I wasn't especially keen on the idea of an engagement ring, so it was more a conversation of him asking if I wanted to marry him and then we went and picked out our wedding rings instead. Very lowkey, as you can guess

Which country are you in?

I met my husband when I was 16. Married at 17. Been married 40 years this year!

@pannikin Scotland, but you have to promise not to stalk me

@potter5 Amazing, congratulations you! I guess that's one of the light-hearted benefits of young marriage ... if it works out for the rest of your life, you can have some very impressive anniversary parties x

Where did you get the money from to buy wedding rings? How did you manage to rent a property - did your boyfriend work? You are obviously very mature as I’m not sure many 16 year olds even think about marriage. But good luck and I hope it works out for you.

So no engagement ring? Did you have a honeymoon? Do you think if you have the funds in say 10yrs you'd renew your vows and have a big bash? Nothing, wrong with lowkey, nothing wrong with not spending a fortune. But do you maybe feel you missed out a bit if money had been no object? I'm old and not fussed about fancy stuff. But at 16 I think I'd have wanted a full on party.

@Coffeeandbeans My husband works full time in emergency services, so we bought rings using some of that money (not super expensive rings, but lovely nonetheless and very sentimental). That's also how we managed to rent!

Thank you for your kind comments! It's all going well so far, and hoping to keep it on an upwards trajectory x

I have a niece who is nearly 17 but I cannot imagine her getting wed for some years yet! @baconbits I hope you are very happy for many years to come.

@baconbits honestly if my ex wasn’t such a wanker I think we’d have stayed married. I was actually really quite ready to be married and enjoyed it. Hence me marrying again I guess so quickly...

@catsup
We had a bit of a delayed honeymoon, so when he was able to take some time off we went to London for a weekend and went to some gigs which was a lot of fun. We might renew our vows definitely - I think it depends on the people we're surrounded with in ten years though as well as if we both want to. I think it might be nice to have an anniversary party at some point, particularly if we have kids.

Re; missing out, not really honestly. I never fancied the idea of a big white wedding, and I got married more for the commitment than the party. We went to see a horror film with some friends afterwards and drank some champagne and ate cake, but ultimately I'd probably still be going for the same type of wedding in 10 ish years. I might have splurged a wee bit more on materialist things (like a fancier wedding dress) but it was nowhere near enough of a priority to hold off the commitment aspect :)

@Iheardarumour Don't worry, I'm sure she would think I was crazy too! Thank you for your wishes though, I appreciate it. x

@Isadora2007 I think young marriage and "standard" marriage both have problems. There's a bit of sacrifice involved in both, but I think for young people it could be more difficult to give up on the expectations of youth (e.g. casual sex) whereas for older/ standard age people it could be more difficult to get used to being more accountable to someone after being independent for a longer time. Just my thoughts though! I hope your current marriage makes you very happy x

I don't really have any questions I can think of, but all power to you (or whatever it is they say!!).

I've been with the same person since I was 19 and I'm 33 now. I guess it's a bit different though as I'd already had a child at 18, who was 1 when we met. We have a child together as well.

I suppose my best advice would be to pick your battles ie only argue over the most important (to you) issues - it's a long time to be power struggling over every little thing, but also value yourself and don't put up with really bad behaviour (make it clear you'll be gone if he really crosses your boundaries). Not saying he will at all.

Ah good luck to you both op. may you have a long and happy life together.

@rhiannonringslikeabellthrought Hahaha thank you! Yeah there are some smaller things where you have a bit of an urge to start a fight but you stop yourself - ultimately we have a few bigger arguments every once in a while, but are definitely growing together. E.g. he's improving his defensiveness, and I'm improving on not holding him to unobtainable expectations.

Thank you for your advice though! And congratulations on your long relationship. What do you think has been the best part of it so far? x