Married at 16. AMA.

[baconbits]

I got married at sixteen. I know this is a controversial topic so if you'd like to - AMA.

Wish you luck. Dh and I got married very young (though not quite 16, we were at uni) and no one thought we would last. We also had a low key wedding and no engagement ring.

30 years on, most of our friends who waited for the ‘right’ time and had the big bash wedding are divorced while we are still going strong.

We did wait a ling time before having dc, though, and I’m glad we did.

Thank you @IHateCoronavirus! I appreciate your post :)

@CatherinedeBourgh That's great to hear! Congratulations on your marriage and I'm sorry you had to deal with social stigma ... fortunately most people don't say it to my face if they have any apprehensions about me being married

Definitely holding off a bit on having kids. It is a big priority for both of us, but we'd like to be financially stable (preferably homeowners) and emotionally ready so we can raise our children to the best of our ability! Thank you for your post

My grandparents were married at 18, still going strong almost 60 years later. I think it is far more about a state of mind and attitude than age that makes someone ready for marriage. Wishing you both a long and happy life together.

@Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear That's amazing about your grandparents! Mine were married for 45 years approx so I'm hoping to beat their high score . I do agree about the mental state part - I think there are young people who are ready to get married, and young people who are definitely not (and vice versa for older people). It's all about the perspective.

Thank you for your post and your wishes!

I wasn't expecting much positivity so thank you everyone who's posted so far! (touchwood haha!)

I hope it all works out for you OP, I've been with my DH since I was just turned 15 although we didnt get engaged or married for a long long time. We've now been together well over a decade and are stronger than ever

Blimey I've got an almost 17 year old son - I can't imagine him getting married!!

Best wishes to you though @baconbits , you sound like you've got a bright head on your shoulders

Congratulations, I hope it works out for you! DH and I got together at 14, and married at 21. We talked about marriage from early on, and were committed, but I didn't feel ready to be engaged/married until we did - partly because I was afraid people would judge! So by the time we got married it had been 7 years!

We're now early 30s, with two children, and still as happy. I think our main strength is communication - we don't let things niggle and fester, we just talk about it. No secrets, no harbouring annoyances.

Best of luck to you!

I’ve been with my first boyfriend my whole life .I’m nearly 50 ,met first term at uni at 18 .
Things can work from an early age

@baconbits I wasn't ever outright told I married too young, my mum and dad married young as well (I think they were 19 and 21) and they are still together.
I think time has so far proved that for us we did the right thing but I do think that was a combination of luck and stubbornness if I am very honest.

I wouldn't encourage my children to follow in my footsteps

@GoldenPlover Amazing, good on you! Do you have any advice for young people who are married on how to grow together as opposed to apart, or did it come naturally to you? I feel very blessed and fortunate to have met someone who I can work towards spending the rest of my life with :) thank you for your post!

@frustrationcentral It is quite rare to find a 17 year old boy who wants to get married, to be fair . My DH has always had a longing for a long term relationship and family, which probably gave him a bit more prep work and emotional preparation before we got married. Thank you for your comment though, I appreciate it! Best wishes to you also! x

Turns out there's a bigger community of people who got married young on here than I though!

@baconbits I’ve been delightfully happily married for over 13 years now thank you. Here’s to your happy marriage too. X

No questions but I wish you all the very best

@eyedrops Hahahaha I got "pre-engaged" while I was at school which people definitely took the piss about, but it definitely wasn't enough to act as a deterrent Thanks so much for the advice though! Communication is a huge thing for us, and we're still working on steps to make sure we talk about things that upset us in a constructive way. Congratulations on making it work though! Thank you for your post

@Isadora2007 Congratulations to you and may it be many more happy years :) x

@bearlyactive Thank you so much for your positivity! Good luck to you also! (though probably in a different situation ) x

@baconbits

Hi *@Feefifo9* Thanks so much! That's great to hear :) do you have any tips to impart on how you made it work? x

I don't think I've ever done much to make my relationship with dh work. It has always been easy. It just is great. There is no real work. I like making him happy, looking after him, treating him, loving him. And him me. There is no work involved. Work sounds like effort. And you all know what I mean before you try and pick this apart.

Partner used to mean something. After Jeremy Kyle programs and the like partners are used after two weeks of being together. Ridiculous.

@SunshineCake I definitely get what you mean - maybe "work" isn't the right word, I guess I just meant putting in effort to make things easier.
I love my DH and loving him feels quite natural and right, but I try to put effort into the relationship in a practical way.

Not sure if the comment about the "partner" word was directed to me, but if it is I didn't realise it was a divisive word. I wouldn't have said partner for previous shorter-term boyfriends, but I'd still call my DH my partner.

Well yes, your husband should be your partner what with the commitment. I never call my dh partner though. He's my husband. I prefer that term.

@SunshineCake I guess I'll probably use the word "husband" more when I'm in social spheres where it's more acceptable to have a husband (e.g. when I'm older). The terms are pretty interchangeable for me personally though honestly.

My SIL got married at 17 and had her first child at 16. Theirs is one of the happiest marriages I know, 30 something years on and 3 children in total. I think they always worked as a partnership, always supported each other, and that has worked for them in practical as well as emotional terms.

@SenselessUbiquity That's so lovely! I think young marriages can be quite hit-or-miss but when they're a hit, it must be great to have known you've spent the majority of your life with one special person.

Hmm advice I find hard to give as we just "work" together! I think it helps that we've always had the same "big goals" as each other. Both of us are focused on our careers and have always supported each other, encouraged each other to go for opportinities, and never tried to stop the other from doing something.

And always remember to have fun

@GoldenPlover

Hmm advice I find hard to give as we just "work" together! I think it helps that we've always had the same "big goals" as each other. Both of us are focused on our careers and have always supported each other, encouraged each other to go for opportinities, and never tried to stop the other from doing something.

And always remember to have fun

@GoldenPlover Thank you for your tips, they same quite close to home when it comes to making my and DH's relationship work

If anyone else has any questions, feel absolutely free to ask!

*seem, sorry!