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Original poster

I used to be a sex worker, ask me anything

411 replies

FeminismIsForALLWomen · 09/10/2020 20:08

For 12 years I worked as an escort, I also did occasional phone & cam work. I varied between working full time and part time, but around half was full time and the other half part time.

I've been put off doing one of these because of how they usually go but I'm always banging on about people making assumptions about sex workers and accepting stereotypes about us so I might as well.

To be clear, this is a thread for people who want to ask questions, not for people who just want to make a point about sex work or sex workers.

Anyway, if anybody cares...ask away Smile

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serenegiraffe · 10/10/2020 01:46

@FeminismIsForALLWomen
Thank you for answering, And thanks for your kind words. I really needed to know for my sanity because he gaslighted me throughout our 10 years together.
Can I just ask one more question please and I'll stop hijacking your thread 🙈
He said it was "just a transaction, no kissing, no foreplay, no touching..." I struggled to believe that. It broke me when I found out (no judgement, not because he was sleeping with sex workers, but because he was sleeping with other women) but I'm getting stronger every day now. I just need to know this but for my sanity...and the condom part, please don't take it as judgemental, I would've been angry if he slept with anyone without a condom...but are there workers who do all the kissing touching stuff and would have unprotected sex?
Thank you so much 💐

Gingerkittykat · 10/10/2020 02:40

How much money did you make as a sex worker?

What did you charge the clients?

I've heard it is now really hard to make money from cam work because the market is so saturated, is that your experience?

MaliceOrgan · 10/10/2020 03:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 10/10/2020 07:58

but are there workers who do all the kissing touching stuff and would have unprotected sex?

There are usually a few workers who'll do unprotected sex but they're generally desperate and in a bad situation which is why they take the risk. I have absolutely no respect for any man who would seek out a worker in that situation and ask her to do that and it doesn't surprise me that he's such a bastard. I'm glad you're away from him now.

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IrishMumSW19 · 10/10/2020 07:59

Thanks so much for such an enlightening thread. It’s really opened my eyes to the opportunities around prostitution. I’d never considered it as a potential career before but now I see I was narrow minded and blinkered. I hadn’t thought of it as liberating and entrepreneurial.

Original poster
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 10/10/2020 08:08

How much money did you make as a sex worker?

Usually under £30 000 a year after expenses.

What did you charge the clients?

£130 an hour.

I've heard it is now really hard to make money from cam work because the market is so saturated, is that your experience?

It's hard to make decent money and you have to put more than full time hours in to do it now. It's possible to make a living from it but most people don't now.

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Original poster
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 10/10/2020 08:09

Has a client ever made you wear their dead wife's cardigan?

Strangely enough that's not something I'd do.

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Original poster
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 10/10/2020 08:18

@IrishMumSW19 I think I've been very clear that you don't have to like sex work to be respectful towards sex workers.

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EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 10/10/2020 08:56

Can i ask, something I've always wondered, when you meet a client at a hotel, who pays for the hotel?

gypsywater · 10/10/2020 09:16

How attractive are you?

Quandaries · 10/10/2020 11:05

Three more questions from me.

How do you advertise?

When you advertise, do you use a fake name and is it a bit of a cliche like Angel or Jazmine?

Are you seeing more men asking for or initiating choke play?

wizzywig · 10/10/2020 11:07

Do you look like the stereotype of a sex worker, ie, fillers, boob job? Or very regular. So no one would assume to know what you do

oreoicecreammmm · 10/10/2020 11:11

Why would anyone have sex for 30k a year just for flexibility and time off? I don't buy it. There are other jobs out there that offer flexibility.

And please don't say 'why does anyone work any job, retail etc'. Having sex is nothing like that and you know it.

Buggedandconfused · 10/10/2020 11:23

Can you tell from looking at a guy how big he is? Are there any pointers that you know to be true, or is it random?

wizzywig · 10/10/2020 11:26

Sorry op, i can see others have asked the same question. Keep safe, and thank you for this thread

MiddleClassProblem · 10/10/2020 11:30

@oreoicecreammmm

Why would anyone have sex for 30k a year just for flexibility and time off? I don't buy it. There are other jobs out there that offer flexibility.

And please don't say 'why does anyone work any job, retail etc'. Having sex is nothing like that and you know it.

What jobs offer that flexibility? Surely only ones you are trained for at best for £30K or slightly less a year. Especially if that’s after tax. £30k salary works out at just over £115 a day before tax. That’s an hours work to op unqualified...

I’m not saying it’s a good option but I would like to know where I can work for £30k for an hours work a da unqualified...

Lillysnotroses · 10/10/2020 11:39

Interesting thread!!

I’ve 2 questions. First one did you ever see anybody you know? (Small world)

Secondly. Did you have a goal when you got into this line of what? To fund a degree to travel or a house deposit?

FeckOffCup1 · 10/10/2020 11:41

When I worked for a couple of years I worked 3 days a week, earning about £800 a day for 3-4 clients a day. That was through an agency though and fairly high end, central London and before AW. I was well spoken and British which immediately meant you could charge double what the Eastern Europeans could. A lot of men would specify a British/ American/ Aussie girl as they thought it was more ‘ethical’ in the whole time I did it there was only one man who didn’t want anything sexual. I have serious doubts that there are any escorts that do time and companionship only (although that is all you can say you do). It used to be that they would be codes for what you offered GFE - girlfriend experience, BB - bareback (no one would do this willingly), A+ - anal costing extra etc.

Men would always just want to go down on me, it was weird. Not something men seem to have done to me a lot in real life - certainly they do it but I was just suprised how many men seemed to really actively want to do it and pay for the opportunity to. Also almost without exception they thought they could get you to enjoy it. I was dead from the neck down at the time and would just fake it but I never ceased to be amazed by the naivety of men genuinely thinking they’d made me orgasm Confused.

I was early 20’s at the time and certainly not pornstar attractive. I did some catwalk modelling and am tall, skinny and scrub up well. It seems to be the big fake boobs and lips girls that make the real money now. I don’t think anyone would have guessed I was an escort - I used to wear smart business wear for hotel calls.

Some weeks I’d work from a hotel and I’d be paying for the room for a few days

Original poster
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 10/10/2020 11:48

Can i ask, something I've always wondered, when you meet a client at a hotel, who pays for the hotel?

If they came to me then I would, but I wouldn't get a hotel just for one booking, it wouldn't be worth it. I'd usually book & pay for the hotel then advertise & take a few bookings for the same day.

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Original poster
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 10/10/2020 11:49

How attractive are you?

Moderately. Above average but I wouldn't exactly stop any traffic.

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Original poster
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 10/10/2020 11:53

How do you advertise?

I advertised online on directories, advertising sites and my own website.

When you advertise, do you use a fake name and is it a bit of a cliche like Angel or Jazmine?

Yeah I had a fake name. I had 3 in total through the years, all quite normal names.

Are you seeing more men asking for or initiating choke play?

I was gfe so people genuinely wanting that wouldn't come to me anyway. I did notice a little surge in enquiries a few years ago but nobodies asked me for it since then i don't think.

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Original poster
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 10/10/2020 11:55

Do you look like the stereotype of a sex worker, ie, fillers, boob job? Or very regular. So no one would assume to know what you do

No. You'd never guess if you saw me in superdrug especially not since I started bulk buying condoms online

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Original poster
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 10/10/2020 12:02

Why would anyone have sex for 30k a year just for flexibility and time off? I don't buy it. There are other jobs out there that offer flexibility.

I'm not really bothered if you buy it tbh. I worked enough so I could have the life I wanted, live comfortably and save a certain amount every month. 30 grand a year after expenses is more than enough for that for me, even if it's not for you.

And please don't say 'why does anyone work any job, retail etc'. Having sex is nothing like that and you know it.

Yes I know sex work isn't like other jobs and that not everyone can comprehend doing it, but that doesn't mean that it's not valid work or that it wasn't the best option for me at the time.

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Original poster
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 10/10/2020 12:03

Can you tell from looking at a guy how big he is? Are there any pointers that you know to be true, or is it random?

No but sometimes I frighten my male friends by pretending I can Grin

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Original poster
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 10/10/2020 12:05

First one did you ever see anybody you know? (Small world)

No thank god!

Secondly. Did you have a goal when you got into this line of what? To fund a degree to travel or a house deposit?

The first time I started working I wanted to make enough to fund a long trip abroad.

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