I used to be a sex worker, ask me anything

[FeminismIsForALLWomen]

For 12 years I worked as an escort, I also did occasional phone & cam work. I varied between working full time and part time, but around half was full time and the other half part time.

I've been put off doing one of these because of how they usually go but I'm always banging on about people making assumptions about sex workers and accepting stereotypes about us so I might as well.

To be clear, this is a thread for people who want to ask questions, not for people who just want to make a point about sex work or sex workers.

Anyway, if anybody cares...ask away

Hi @FeckOffCup1 Absolutely LOVE the name!

Thank you OP for this thread. I often chat to my friends about who we'd have for the best dinner party ever - Stephen Fry always makes the top five because he is so interesting. I'd love you to attend - not just because of the interesting perspective on sex work, but because of your considered approach to answering the questions posed. Thanks again.

Thanks for answering my questions op! I can't believe you're getting shit off some people, whatever happened to live and let live?

Find this fascinating OP - always had a curiosity about SW. You’ve composed yourself really well. Watching with interest.

I'd love you to attend - not just because of the interesting perspective on sex work, but because of your considered approach to answering the questions posed. Thanks again.

Aww that's really nice thanks. You wouldn't say that if you I was a vegan though

Thanks for the reply. I don’t see the problem as such with what you do for a living. Years ago a friend lived in a red light area and a car pulled up thinking I was a worker I was petrified & amazed that he had a flash car. I’ve never run back to my friends to quickly!

I think the main downfall is that it becomes a long term thing and you have no idea to move forward in life. This pandemic has sure taught us a lot.... best of luck OP!

Thanks for answering my questions op!

You're welcome

I can't believe you're getting shit off some people, whatever happened to live and let live?

Oh this is nothing, you should've heard how people spoke to me when I was still a sex worker! Thinking about it the difference in how I've been spoken to as a current sex worker and an ex-sex worker is quite stark.

Years ago a friend lived in a red light area and a car pulled up thinking I was a worker I was petrified & amazed that he had a flash car.

That does indeed sound terrifying. It doesn't really surprise me that he had a flash car, the attraction to the most vulnerable workers, such as street workers, is often nothing to do with price and everything to do with their vulnerability. I have a massive amount of respect and love for street workers but nothing but hatred for the men who pay for their services.

Have you ever seen a review of you/your services on Punternet/some other punter site?

Also, what is your take on the men who write such nasty reviews about sex workers?

It’s the normalising of sex work that I have an issue with. This thread appears to be an attempt to normalise it and make it seem like a fun, liberating, viable career choice.

Regarding your annual tax returns.....
Any intriguing tax deductible expenses??

Have you ever seen a review of you/your services on Punternet/some other punter site?

Also, what is your take on the men who write such nasty reviews about sex workers?

Yes I had a few but I never paid a lot of attention to them. The majority of men on those sites are boundary pushers, hagglers and generally disrespectful arseholes. I've known people to have bad reviews written about them by people they've never met out of revenge for not seeing them. I doubt most clients actually look at the sites though because I've never known even the most malicious review to result in a downturn of business.

It’s the normalising of sex work that I have an issue with. This thread appears to be an attempt to normalise it and make it seem like a fun, liberating, viable career choice

Sex workers are normal. I think I've been pretty clear that it's not for everyone and I wouldn't recommend people become sex workers, but I doubt anything I say can change your mind.

@IrishMumSW19

It’s the normalising of sex work that I have an issue with. This thread appears to be an attempt to normalise it and make it seem like a fun, liberating, viable career choice.

Who are we to slate or judge OP?

I think the point of the thread was to ask questions and not be rude here. I wouldn’t say we are normalising it as such but OP is going to do it regardless and so are other people... good luck to them too.

A couple of questions if you don't mind!

You said you charged £130 an hour. Do most clients book one hour or do many want longer? Do they regard it as 'finish and done' or do you get a lot who want to try and do it as many times as they can manage within the booking time?

Also, who do you vote for in elections?

Regarding your annual tax returns.....Any intriguing tax deductible expenses??

Condoms, lube, sex toys, hotels, work phone, sheets, nothing that interesting. I know someone who had a sex machine and a saddle on hers so I'm clearly quite dull!

but OP is going to do it regardless and so are other people... good luck to them too.

Exactly. Stigmatising sex workers does absolutely nothing to help.

It’s the normalising of sex work that I have an issue with. This thread appears to be an attempt to normalise it and make it seem like a fun, liberating, viable career choice

I wholeheartedly agree with this.
I think we need to work towards a society where women don’t have to exchange sex for money in order to pay their bills.

And the OPs “experience” seems very far removed from reality to be honest.

You said you charged £130 an hour. Do most clients book one hour or do many want longer? Do they regard it as 'finish and done' or do you get a lot who want to try and do it as many times as they can manage within the booking time?

The shortest booking I offered was actually half an hour (£90) and around half of my enquiries would be for that. Most of the bookings I take were for an hour. Bookings longer than a couple of hours used to be a lot more common but not so much anymore in my experience, probably because everyone's skint.

How many 'pops' are allowed depends on the worker, some limit it to one, some don't. I didn't but I often found the ones who asked for multiple goes had overestimated themselves and were knackered after one anyway!

Also, who do you vote for in elections?

Last general election I voted tactically for labour, for all the good it did. In local elections I vote Greens.

Thanks for answering. I did sex work 3 years ago- not penetrative sex. And made some nice extra cash on the side to help, as ex wouldn't pay any maintenance.

I stopped because of the shame, dirty feelings and secretiveness of it all. I left my infant DD at my mums whilst I gave oral in the next town for £70 . One client was a single dad and got a bit obsessive- he wanted our kids to meet. Scared the hell out of me.

I think we need to work towards a society where women don’t have to exchange sex for money in order to pay their bills.

I absolutely agree. I don't want survival sex work to exist, I don't want anyone to feel they have no choice but to be a sex worker, but I want women to be able to choose it if they want.

Stigmatising sex workers isn't the answer to this though, we need to address the ridiculous poverty than affects so many women and have a decent welfare state.

And the OPs “experience” seems very far removed from reality to be honest.

It's not but, again, if you've already decided there's probably nothing I can say to change your mind.

Hi @DollhouseBurglar. Your ex sounds like a dick. Sorry you had bad experiences, I agree that the secrecy and shame can be damaging. Predators often think sex workers are fair game because of it too. Hope things are better for you now ❤️

@JKRforPM
I think we need to work towards a society where women don’t have to exchange sex for money in order to pay their bills And the OPs “experience” seems very far removed from reality to be honest.

I think a society where women don’t have to exchange sex for money is very removed from reality. However I don’t think that’s what this thread is about.

Do you remember your very first client? What was the experience like? Terrifying? Awkward?

jkrforpm I’m another former sex worker and nothing that OP has written suggests that it’s untrue. I don’t doubt that there are thousands of women unwillingly in prostitution who have vastly different experiences. The OP is just relating her experiences.