My husband is trans ftm AMA

[WhatOnFuckingEarth]

That’s about it. My husband is a heterosexual trans man and I’m a heterosexual cisgendered woman. We have two kids conceived via IVF (aged 2.5 months and 2 years). He is 5 years on testosterone and 8 years post double mastectomy, 3 years post phalloplasty, 2 years post final genital surgery.

I'm glad he's happy now How young was he when he first realised that something wasn't right?

@justdontatme Yes, it does.

@Hangingover He has always know something wasn’t quite right, but he didn’t find a name for it until his twenties.

Because his body looks like a male body I would have no reason to believe otherwise.

But yours doesn’t (I assume?) you are clearly female and your partner (also female) is attracted to you and has a sexual relationship with you. So that’s not heterosexual. That’s bisexual or homosexual.

Do you truly believe that after years of procedures etc that once this surgery is done he can just stop?

Congratulations on your babies and successful ivf

What is your partner's relationship like with their parents?

@Hangingover Thank you

Sorry missed that!

If he hadn't have told you he was trans, would you have worked it out for yourself and at what point?

What makes your husband male? In his or your eyes.

Would you say the majority of your friends (as a couple, in particular) are LGBT etc or straight and not particularly affiliated/interested in all that? Does he have a male best buddy and do blokey things with him?

@formerbabe At the time of our first sexual encounter as he had not had bottom surgery at that point.

@Smallsteps88

Because his body looks like a male body I would have no reason to believe otherwise.

But yours doesn’t (I assume?) you are clearly female and your partner (also female) is attracted to you and has a sexual relationship with you. So that’s not heterosexual. That’s bisexual or homosexual.

Whatever your personal opinions about gender and people who are trans, it's really fucking rude and aggressive to tell people they are wrong about who they are.

As I understand it, when you met, he still had female genitalia? In which case, how did you have sex then without feeling like you were having sex with a woman? I don't really understand this point as you say you are not at all homosexual or bisexual?

@MonsteraCheeseplant In his eyes the gender dysphoria and incongruence, in my eyes the same. We both understand he has xx chromosomes however his body looks male and that (and his personality) attracts me to him.

@FlamedToACrisp The majority of our friends are not LGBT or affiliated with the LGBT community. He has a set of work ‘buddies’ etc. who he goes to the pub with and does stereotypically male things with.

Whatever your personal opinions about gender and people who are trans, it's really fucking rude and aggressive to tell people they are wrong about who they are.

I’m trying to understand the thinking behind the belief. It’s complex and OP has offered to answer questions. These are the questions that I want to know about.

And I’m clearly not the only one who wants to know this.

@FlamedToACrisp - my DH doesn’t have a male best buddy and do blokey things. We generally do things as a couple, or with other couples- not by design- it just evolved that way. He’s still a man though.

SeagoingSexpot I don't think it's rude to question someone who describes themself as heterosexual despite the fact they are a female in a relationship with another female.

@BlingLoving Pre-phalloplasty we tended to not have many sexual encounters. When we did, he used an erect strap on packer to emulate the penis. Due to his body and mannerisms it felt similar to normal heterosexual sex.

How did you find having sex with someone who had female genitalia when you’re heterosexual?

He has a set of work ‘buddies’ etc. who he goes to the pub with and does stereotypically male things with

Do they know he's trans?