I'm a masochistic submissive and live with my sadistic Sir. AMA

[RopeBunny]

As above really.

What is your favourite flavour of Zoflora?

You're not a sub, you're being abused by a damaged women hating man, most likely with mummy issues who cant form normal relationships
I would hazard a guess that you were abused when young, men like that almost smell it and take full advantage of your fucked up boundaries

47Wombleish

I'd bloody love the ability to fart confetti, who wouldn't?

Scoobygang7

You'd need a hole in the arsehole region of all your clothes. Otherwise every time you fart you'd just look like you shit yourself.

Be even better if you could choose the colour of confetti to fart. Think of the money to be made on St George’s Day, St Patrick’s Day etc. A somber black and grey hued trump at funerals could be a winner.

Perky, this ability would need to be limited to those with the most aptitude, otherwise the market for FartConfetti©️ occasions would be flooded. With arse-smelling confetti.

You're not a sub, you're being abused by a damaged women hating man, most likely with mummy issues who cant form normal relationships
I would hazard a guess that you were abused when young, men like that almost smell it and take full advantage of your fucked up boundaries

Exactly this

My rival company has come up with Confartti. We have one that is in autumn colours. Excellent for mulching (for the lady gardeners among us), or just aim your arse directly at the bonfire. A winner at Halloween parties also.

You're not a sub, you're being abused by a damaged women hating man, most likely with mummy issues who cant form normal relationships. I would hazard a guess that you were abused when young, men like that almost smell it and take full advantage of your fucked up boundaries

Thirded.

My first question on the thread was going to be: ‘what trauma or abuse did you suffer when you were younger to make you have such weak boundaries and such a low bar for relationships?’

But then I saw the turn the thread started to take - which I throughly approved of.

The problem with farting confetti is you'd have to be naked from the waist down for it to work. Confetti dribbling out of the ankles of your jeans isn't quite as good.

Just wear chaps, or a billowy skirt.

I like the idea of a billowing skirt, it would add a certain amount of drama.

Was that what Marilyn was doing over that grate...?

Yes and if you have enough gas power, you could take off like Mary Poppins, leaving a Disney sort of trail as you go.

The clothes in the way of FartConfetti©️ deployment can be solved by using an ArseCone©️ inserted into a hole in the lower garment/s. One could also include a little device to blow a tune at the same time.

I hope it's biodegradable confetti you're farting. I don't want to be sweeping up anyone's arse crumbs.

😆

Just imagine their faces if you were hired for a wedding, but accidentally followed through. The photographer would have to photoshop those pictures.

One should only ever fart if one can be sure one won't follow through, this is unless one's arse is seated on the lavatory, in which case one can let rip!

Maybe FartConfetti could be made from the ground up remains of Magic Sponges once used. I see incidentally that there are such wonders as coloured Magic Sponges, oh joy and jubilation.

My ArseCone plays the Trumpet Voluntary from Aida.

Yo, that sounds delightful. Such culture and refinement!

AMA but don't reply to anyone? Is that some type of masochistic exercise?

My dp asked me to call him sir once and i laughed so hard i shit myself. Thankfully, I was wearing an Arsecone (FartConfetti©️) so I was able to spray the twat in the face.

Tbh I think Confartti has got the edge on FartConfetti©️.

Claudia your marketing genius is just what we're looking for. We'll give you two livers and a manky spleen for your fart confetti business, then come and join us at Cuntingdon castle and help us get rich. We've got such big ideas but are so easily distracted....