I'm Barry, AMA

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

Hi there girls (or should I say ladies, I know how 'PC' you lot are).

I hear you have some questions for me? Well go ahead, I won't bite - unless you want me to, of course

Link here

Barry, what makes the perfect wife? Say, maybe, the top 3 or 5 things

Also, Barry, my DH is out for the day with his top secret hobby, but the fridge light has stopped working. What can I do? He'll be expecting dinner to be ready when he gets home

Barry, what make and model of caravan would you recommend for a family of four (two are large teens), and why?

What does E=MC squared actually mean and is it important?

Anne invention to make life easier - you've answered your own question! I would love every household to have a Barry instead of a Siri or Alexa. In my vision, the Barry would be carved out of marble, in the posture of Rodin's 'Thinker'. He (it) would have the physique of Dwayne Johnson, and the voice of Sean Connery. Almost as good as the real thing!

Coco cardigan, because I have an excellent, virile crop of chest hair and I love to show it off.

RedHats because just like you, they long to be, close to me

Barry is ignoring me

LaMarschallin lime jelly you say? Sounds a trifle naughty. Better watch your step my girl, or someone might give you your just desserts. In fact -

Oh balls, Mrs Barry's just come home. Stick the whipped cream back in the fridge a minute love, hold that thought.

Shockers don't fret love, you're in the queue! Questions answered in the order they're asked, otherwise it could get pretty nasty!

Barry, what are your views on daylight saving?

If you were an App what would you call it ?

Ooh @CloudPop
I remember taking part in an experiment for that . It was awful.
Went to school in the dark !
Had to wear fluorescent arm
Bands . Still have them .

@anneKipanki - wait for Barry. No one cares what you think.... you're just a girl

Barry can you explain the Irish backstop please? We're so confused...

Hold fire folks AnneKipanki is as entitled as anyone else to express a view

@CloudPop, you're right

Ok, Anne, what's your view?

Hmm. I wonder if your brilliance has already been identified and that Mrs Barry is in fact Freda, who had a thing for hostess trolleys, flame proof nighties and of course Woman’s Weekly.

born treason is definitely still an offence, and it is disconcertingly easy to fall foul of the law. The reason for this is that royals were often extremely paranoid due to the high levels of lead in their make-up, and passed some 'creative' laws during their less lucid episodes. Offences include:

Serving jam on top of cream (scone) to a member of the Royal family (due to connotations - see previous posts)
Defending oneself against swan attacks
Sticking too many stamps on a letter (implication that Queen is of less worth than one paid for her)
For the same reason as above, accidentally handing over more money than is needed to pay for an item
Deliberately showing an image of the Queen to a wasp

RedHats knee deep in it? Realistically, mate, not with my knee. I am 67, remember?

Also, last time Mrs Barry thought I was straying, she wrote 'Shitgibbon' in metre high letters on my lawn (I was only watching Rachel on Countdown and noticed my fly was undone, so I tried to do it up with a series of small, vigorous yanks!) Heartbroken, I was. I had to get the whole thing re-turfed and it's still not a shade of its former glory.

Dione if this thread hasn't changed your life yet, you clearly haven't been paying attention love!

**Mrs Barry used weed killer, I should clarify.

My view: it is Barry 's thread .
I am sure Barry KNOWS what should be done .

Sticking too many stamps on a letter (implication that Queen is of less worth than one paid for her)

I absolutely swear this is true: my mother told me that sticking a stamp upside down on a letter is treason because it implies disrespect for the queen.

I was only watching Rachel on Countdown and noticed my fly was undone, so I tried to do it up with a series of small, vigorous yanks!)

Well, it's just unreasonable for Mrs Barry to think there's anything wrong in that.
The same thing has often happened to Mr LaMarschallin while watching Victoria Coren Mitchell on "Only Connect".

Do wasps tell on you if you show them a picture of the queen? Couldn’t you claim it was accidental otherwise?