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I lost a child 23 years ago at Dunblane. AMA

288 replies

dunblanemum · 13/03/2019 08:36

I have used this username a few times over the years but am a long time MN user.

I will answer any questions you have - apart from who my child was. I need a little privacy.

I am not doing this to whip up sympathy, i have made my peace with it. It is just in my mind today obviously and i know people i meet often have questions but feel embarrassed about asking. Ask away.

OP posts:

ssd · 13/03/2019 09:10

I'm so sorry op. I was working in Anniesland that day I remember it well. I don't want to ask you anything, just sending a hug your way.


dunblanemum · 13/03/2019 09:10

How do you feel about the D-notice in place on Hughes' report on Hamilton and has the secrecy regarding that report, which fuels conspiracy theory, affected you or others at all?

There is no conspiracy. None at all. That is all rubbish. I am good at ignoring such nonsense.

OP posts:

thegreylady · 13/03/2019 09:11

No questions from me. I will never forget Dunblane. My heart goes out to all of you 💐


dunblanemum · 13/03/2019 09:11

I am off to walk the dog. Will answer your questions when i am back. If i miss any then i apologise!

OP posts:

CarpetDiem · 13/03/2019 09:14

I remember the tragedy like it was yesterday OP, I was a student in Scotland at the time and was watching daytime tv, before the days of the Internet when reports were coming through, it was and is incredibly sad. My question if you don't mind is do you blame anyone/ anything apart from the perpetrator? Such as laws & absence of school security gates or anything Flowers


Whitelisbon · 13/03/2019 09:14

I have no questions op, but I wanted to let you know we haven't forgotten.
I remember that day as though it was yesterday, and I will never forget, along with thousands of others.
On the 20th? Anniversary, they read out the names on the news. I stopped and listened to every one of them, and cried.
My thoughts are with you, and the families of all the other victims Flowers


lionheart · 13/03/2019 09:15

Unforgettable. I am so sorry.



MrsJayy · 13/03/2019 09:16

I am so sorry I had my dd at playgroup that day and it came on the radio it was like time stopped, i can't think of anything I want to ask you but thinking about Dunblane today.


RageAgainstTheVendingMachine · 13/03/2019 09:16

Thank you for answering. I asked because I had read in the Herald many years ago that two bereaved families were seeking the removal of the 100 year closure.


JesusInTheCabbageVan · 13/03/2019 09:16

No questions, but I think your post is very brave and my thoughts are with you.


needthisthread · 13/03/2019 09:18

I was 19. We used to get the local evening paper delivered in to work. I think we got 5 or 6 copies. When the paper came in to reception there was an eerie silence as they got passed around and we all got a look at the huge headline. Nobody did anymore work that afternoon. We ignored the phones ringing and just sat, mainly silent, trying to wrap our heads around it. Of course with no internet/social media back then we had to wait until we got home to watch the news.

23 years. Never forgotten.

OP Thanks you are in my thoughts.


NannyRed · 13/03/2019 09:19

I don’t want to ask you anything, but I wanted to say I truly am sorry for what you had to go through. I cried when I heard the news that day. Then I cried again at the school photo.



coffeeismyspinach · 13/03/2019 09:19

I'm so sorry. I lost a little girl to natural causes when she was in P4. The pain never leaves.


winetomorrow · 13/03/2019 09:19

I was a teenager in my first job at a meeting in the dunblane hydro that day. None of us there could comprehend the utter horror that happened and I still remember clearly the feeling of terror and grief. I am so sorry for your loss and so glad that you have found the strength to be happy. May we all be so strong in our lives x


Tonsilss · 13/03/2019 09:19

So sorry OP. I know Dunblane quite well. May I ask you what happened to the children in that class who survived? Did they stay at the school or were they sent to another school? How was the school affected, in terms of children staying or leaving, re-organisation, etc? I've often wondered about those who survived, whether they have felt survivors' guilt, how the trauma has affected them, etc.
And how would you say that this has affected the town long term?


CharlyAngelic · 13/03/2019 09:19

Flowers @dunblanemum
I know someone else in your position.

The whole world was numb when this happened .

Enjoy your dog walk.


Graziass · 13/03/2019 09:22

I remember that day very clearly and I've thought about it often. In fact it was one of those JFK moments, I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news. I had a newborn baby and it had a powerful impact on me, probably more than any other major event
Every time I see a shooting in America I think of Dunblane.
I'm very sorry.


Bowerbird5 · 13/03/2019 09:26

I remember it well. I was very upset and shocked. We drove through Dunblane regularly and years ago I was planning to go there to live and work but a quirk of fate at the last minute meant I didn’t.
My daughter was the same age. I couldn’t begin to think how I would have coped. I wept buckets when I saw the news.
One of things due to that day was the following week my workplace had security key pads fitted. We were considered to be a vulnerable school. There was an incident ( later found to be innocent)where we went into lock down one day and we’re glad of that security.
My prayers are with you.


wrapsuperstar · 13/03/2019 09:26

Written and deleted many comments — no words seem enough.

I was ten when it happened, remember it well and hold the families in my heart especially now my own children are at school. Thank you for your courage in telling your story.

Do you feel from a policy/social point of view we have learned the right lessons and put the right measures in place to prevent another tragedy like this? Although I was young when it happened I remember the utter outrage and grief felt across the UK, and I think it did lead to significant and (comparatively) swift change. Do you feel it’s enough?

Sending love to you and to all who have lost a child.


Stayawayfromitsmouth · 13/03/2019 09:27

I'm so sorry for your loss.


CoffeeandChocolateplease · 13/03/2019 09:27


I'm so sorry for your loss, I think I have seen you post about this before, I think of you whenever I hear Dunblane come up. I remember the day very well, I was at 6th Form college and we were all so quiet after hearing the news. I remember listening to the Chris Evans breakfast show the next day, where he refused to play anything upbeat and kept it very quiet and respectful - a big thing for his show in those days.

I read Mick North's book a few years ago and after reading it made a point of learning the names of the children and teacher. Today is my son's birthday, but before we start our celebrations, I always take a minute to remember the names, so your daughter is in my thoughts.

Take good care - lots of love


MsTiggywinkletoyou · 13/03/2019 09:27

Thank you Dunblanemum for opening up the conversation, and allowing people to ask without embarrassment. Mass shootings, and school shootings, keep happening (in the US and presumably elsewhere, though we don't hear about them so much). You've written of your personal healing, and it's good to hear you have found a way through. What helped your community heal? What advice would you offer to the next community hit by a similar attack?


herecomesthsun · 13/03/2019 09:29

Flowers no words, choked


Felyne · 13/03/2019 09:29

I work in an English school, Year 1 (age 5-6 too). The idea of this happening is utterly horrific. I didn't grow up in the UK but remember when this was in the news. I was about 12 at the time. I am truly sorry for your loss xx


WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 13/03/2019 09:30

So sorry OP , though words are not enough really .

When Dunblane occurred my eldest was in Reception (which I believe is the English equivilent to P1 is it?) and that day, at hometime, it was eerily quiet and every one of those Reception children got a huge hug from every parent that afternoon .
So sad . May they all Rest in Eternal Peace .

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