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AMA

I lost a child 23 years ago at Dunblane. AMA

288 replies

dunblanemum · 13/03/2019 08:36

I have used this username a few times over the years but am a long time MN user.

I will answer any questions you have - apart from who my child was. I need a little privacy.

I am not doing this to whip up sympathy, i have made my peace with it. It is just in my mind today obviously and i know people i meet often have questions but feel embarrassed about asking. Ask away.

OP posts:

Report

MrsMarkRonson · 15/03/2023 07:30

I stumbled across this thread a couple of days ago (coincidentally March 13). I made sure I lit a candle that night.
@dunblanemum To you and everyone else who has lost a child.
@nocoolnamesleft What a beautiful post, and yes Thank you OP.

PantherPantherus · 21/03/2021 01:36

I was driving home from work and turned the car radio on to listen to the news at 6pm. As I drove home to my two children (2 and 4) I realised that God did not exist and we are all we have.

I remember the exact point in my journey the story was announced and each time I pass that spot I still remember.

CarrotIsApple · 16/03/2021 13:40

Esse321 · 13/03/2021 17:02

So sorry for your loss

PotteringAlong · 13/03/2021 15:53

@dunblanemum my thoughts are with you, and all of the parents and families of your children today.

Hellenbackagen · 25/03/2019 22:16

Bless you . Just read all the names of
The poor babies and thought of each and every one of them
💐💐💐

SavageBeauty73 · 25/03/2019 21:47

I'm so sorry for your loss. You come over as a lovely, sorted, wonderful person.

Were you tempted to home educate your younger daughters?

MutantDisco · 23/03/2019 04:44

Thank you OP. I have never forgotten your daughter and her classmates (I was 15 in 1996).

I'm a teacher (secondary) and a few years ago I had a sixth form tutor group who were criticising Andy Murray for being 'grumpy' or some such. I played them a clip of him talking about that day, and breaking down. They were all shocked to the core and much more understanding in the knowledge that he had been through something awful.

notsodimwit · 23/03/2019 03:46

So sad op

klingon85 · 15/03/2019 19:22

I don't have anything to ask but I'm so very sorry

pombear · 14/03/2019 00:50

And i never have. I give him as little space in my mind as i possibly can.

This is so powerful dunblanemum.

Thank you for sharing your story. And for sharing who your DD was.

I don't have a question, but to let you know that a small 'butterfly effect' of Dunblane is that I walked away from the job I had at the time very soon after. Because of the way a colleague viewed the shooting directly relating to our jobs. It was the final straw that turned me away from what I was doing at the time.

And I'm now in a job many years' later that aims to constructively support people. I will never forget that colleague's comment, and how it drove me to change what I did.

I know it's no consolation, and a tiny thing, but Dunblane had ripple effects in so many areas of life that will probably never be known.

I will remember your daughter, and all those affected by that day, today and often in the future.

nocoolnamesleft · 14/03/2019 00:29

Not a question: I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being able to answer questions on here. But mostly thank you for the legacy that you and the other families ensured. Thank you so much for the changes in the gun laws. Thank you for all the lives you helped to save. Thank you that most British hospitals hardly ever see a gunshot wound. Thank you that for making our schools safer, our communities safer, our children safer. To have come out of such a tragedy to achieve something so important, so amazing, leaves me near speechless.

Thank you.

RaininSummer · 14/03/2019 00:03

Thank you OP. A sad read but also uplifting in how you have coped and not let it destroy your family. Bless them all. Never forgotten.

WaddIelikeapenguin · 13/03/2019 23:41

I’m so sad to read how badly things were handled on the day - the lack of information & long wait sounds so cruel

I remember so clearly sitting in student halls round a tiny portable tv & the only other scot & me being asked where/what Dunblane is by the mostly NI flat mates - “a beautiful wee quiet place where you go on holiday” was what my friend said. Some of my NI flatmates spoke about the school bomb scares & other bombs they had lived through but all were horrified a gun had gone into a school.

Never forgotten

Fluffyears · 13/03/2019 23:40

@dunblanemum I remember them every year. They will never ever be forgotten. The absolute scum who carried out his attack is hopefully burning in hell (i’m Not religious but this is one instance I hope he’ll is real) i’m So so sorry I was in secondary school abd heard teachers talking about it but wasn’t aware until later what had actually happened. I won’t forget those little innocent babies.

RomanticFatigue · 13/03/2019 23:26

Dunblanemum I have been thinking about you and this thread all day. You are an amazing and compassionate woman. Thank you for your honesty. Enjoy your wine

oldowlgirl · 13/03/2019 22:11

Thanks for being so honest Op. Glad to hear you've found peace & have a happy life & your other DDs sound wonderful.

Thinking of you & all those affected

Wonnacott35 · 13/03/2019 21:51

Thinking of you and all the families involved that day xx

Happierwithouthim · 13/03/2019 21:27

There's a house in a local town here in Ireland with the name Dunblane

FuzzyPixel · 13/03/2019 21:10

dunblanemum No-one should have to experience anything similar to the incident at Dunblane.

I was five years old at the time; I remember my mum explaining it to me the best she could and lighting a candle at home. I remember her taking me to spend my pocket money on the charity CD.

You're in my thoughts, and often have been throughout the years. We'll light a candle here tonight.

Dontrocktheboat · 13/03/2019 21:05

I am late to the thread too op and know you’ve gone now but agree with all that has been said. I can only admire your strength in carrying on as you have done and I’m so sorry for your loss and for all those others too.
I was a student in Scotland at the time too, and as others have said it has haunted me since, especially now I have my own little ones. I find myself thinking of it at times when I drop them off and collect them from school, and can’t imagine what you have endured.
Wishing you love and a peaceful evening.

RomanyQueen1 · 13/03/2019 21:04

I posted earlier, but had to come back to say I hope you got through today as well as can be expected.
I spoke to my family about it today as I'm sure many people have. Your little one and all the others won't be forgotten

AgentCooper · 13/03/2019 20:38

dunblanemum

I was 9 when it happened, at primary school in Glasgow. The only time in my life I ever saw my Grandad cry. Your wee one will never, ever be forgotten.

Aragog · 13/03/2019 20:37

Thank you

Your DD, her class mates and her teacher will not be forgotten. x

bakingcupcakes · 13/03/2019 20:33

I don't have a question but I remember this from my childhood. My mum was a primary school teacher at the time and I remember her crying for all the lost children and their teacher.

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