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AMA
Original poster

I have a husband and we both have a girlfriend together AMA

265 replies

Soubriquet · 27/12/2018 19:20

People seemed interested in this so I thought I would start a thread

We’ve all been together for 18 months now and parent our 2 children.

Initially in the beginning we had a bit of jealousy and such but now we all get along perfectly

I am bisexual which is why I’m happy being with both her and him

We will be intimate as a 3some or if one of us is not in the mood, the other two will be intimate

Dh sleeps in the same bed as gf as I can’t stand sharing a bed with anyone.

OP posts:
TheLazyDuchess · 27/12/2018 21:29

*them or even the three of them

AnyFucker · 27/12/2018 21:30

Strange AMA thread where op just answers the 1st few questions

bifflediffle · 27/12/2018 21:31

Apologies if I've got the wrong poster

AhhhHereItGoes · 27/12/2018 21:36

AF I agree the drug taking is immature and just plain ridiculous but it's a different issue than the relationship itself.

NottonightJosepheen · 27/12/2018 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JollyAndBright · 27/12/2018 21:40

Because she is their mummy too. She plays with them, cares for them, puts them to bed, buys them clothes, toys, food. Basically every thing I do

....And this was when I knew it was definitely nonsense.

WellBHoise · 27/12/2018 21:55

OP I’ve found this thread Interestig and I hope you come back and answer more

SlayRide · 27/12/2018 22:10

Oh Op, please come back

Bottomplasters · 27/12/2018 22:12

Thanks for your openness OP

NineInchSnail · 27/12/2018 22:14

Who will the children live with if you separate?

WhatTheFuckRichard · 27/12/2018 22:25

I feel like you have been hurt in the past and you have very low self esteem and emotional/relationship issues.

Your husband has moved the OW into the house and they work, sleep, eat and smoke together while you raise the children and do the homemaking. Your lack of problem with this set up rings alarm bells for me. No sane person would let themselves be disrespected in this way.

Your children are going to be hurt and confused by this set up, they will grow up to have very bent views on how a relationship, boundaries and respect work. Are you really happy to put your children through this just because you can't face being alone?

I just can't get over the fact your children call a practical stranger mummy. I know this is in no way the same but it is the only thing I have to compare to your situation. I have friends that I have known for 10 years and my child calls them auntie - my NDN and I are both SAHM's and we spend lots of time together playing with the kids, chatting and going on small trips out. We see a lot of each other and we have a small bond with each other's children. The kids get on very well and we generally enjoy each other's company. My child doesn't call her auntie and we have lived next door to each other for nearly 2 years. The timeframe is very small to be having someone as a consistent and valuable figure in my child's life. I cannot imagine knowing someone for even less time than that and having my children call her mummy while she shags my husband in the marital bed. Absolute madness.

VaselineDion · 27/12/2018 22:26

OP if you need any support this place is full to the brim. Genuinely- if you need help there are people here who can do that.

fartwhenyoustandup · 27/12/2018 22:30

*@WhatTheFuckRichard
*
This. Exactly this.
This is why you've met with quite an incredulous response. Because no self respecting woman would pit herself through this shit. And even more so, her children.

PersonaNonGarter · 27/12/2018 22:32

‘AMA’ was really your subconscious screaming ‘This isn’t right and I need to discuss it’.

OP, you need this to stop and you need to get this woman out of you house, and out of your bed.

You have put a lot at risk and you need to face some home truths, however disruptive.

ChristmasSnow · 27/12/2018 22:43

Why are you letting your kids call some woman they've known about a year 'mummy'?

Because she is their mummy too. She plays with them, cares for them, puts them to bed, buys them clothes, toys, food. Basically every thing I do

I DO THESE THINGS FOR MY NIECE AND NEPHEW... I AM NOT THEIR MUMMY!!! FFS

Get a grip OP
This cant be real surely?!?

Badumdumtss · 27/12/2018 22:46

I think people seem to be struggling a bit to understand what the OP gets from this and can't see past that, so assume she's being taken for a fool.

Prior to our engagement, my husband and I had a few months in a three way relationship. I was infatuated with our girlfriend, probably moreso than he was, and it started out as my idea. I was bisexual and he was the first man I'd ever been with, and he was quite open to it all. These sorts of situations aren't just men screwing with vulnerable women and "having it all" as seems to be suggested on this thread. Shockingly enough, some women do actually make their own minds up. In my situation, my husband definitely has a higher sex drive than me but we all got what we wanted from the relationship at the time. And we've gone on to marry and have children.

Several years, and children, later, and I couldn't commit to polygamy as I would worry about the social judgement and navigating the world with children as a "throuple". However I really don't think it's quite as horrifying as people make out, particularly as children just grow up thinking their set up is normal.

The smoking is a separate issue that I wouldn't like, but I don't really get drugs. I can't imagine it's quite as dramatic as is being painted here, in that the husband and girlfriend disappear every evening to a shed while the OP slaves away indoors. I took it more like every couple of weeks they smoke a joint together.

I think there's a lot of projection going on here with people and their own ideas about relationships not understanding how others can do things so differently!

ILoveChristmasLights · 27/12/2018 22:52

This is no way to live.

FamilyOfAliens · 27/12/2018 22:52

However I really don't think it's quite as horrifying as people make out, particularly as children just grow up thinking their set up is normal.

There are children who grow up thinking sexual abuse is normal.

70sbaubles · 27/12/2018 22:57

Are you ashamed at parents evenings and school events? Does mummy x go with you? Are you not scared of them being bullied?

Batteriesallgone · 27/12/2018 23:03

Come back OP.

elephantinstripeysocks · 27/12/2018 23:05

encouraging your children to call her mummy, her sharing the home bed with your DH every night and you saying she "does everything for the children I do". So, by these admissions, if she got pregnant tomorrow and they decided you were surplus to the home, shes already all set up. kids love her, husband already spends every night with her. easy.

NonvalidUsername · 27/12/2018 23:15

I was thinking Philpotts too...

Tweety1981 · 27/12/2018 23:18

Sounds like two people who had children without growing up and have no decided to live out their university years permanently ....

Tweety1981 · 27/12/2018 23:19

This is not a normal childhood for any child .

Tweety1981 · 27/12/2018 23:20

Sounds like two people who had children without growing up and have NOW decided to live out their university years permanently ....

Today 23:19

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