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AMA
Original poster

I have a husband and we both have a girlfriend together AMA

265 replies

Soubriquet · 27/12/2018 19:20

People seemed interested in this so I thought I would start a thread

We’ve all been together for 18 months now and parent our 2 children.

Initially in the beginning we had a bit of jealousy and such but now we all get along perfectly

I am bisexual which is why I’m happy being with both her and him

We will be intimate as a 3some or if one of us is not in the mood, the other two will be intimate

Dh sleeps in the same bed as gf as I can’t stand sharing a bed with anyone.

OP posts:
bifflediffle · 27/12/2018 20:27

The other woman is massively vulnerable atm. She has no security and is paying over the odds in to the house in terms of groceries anyway. We don't know re mortgage or anything.

The drugs is a massive concern and the polyamory is a mess tbh. I've never seen it end well. And bringing another child into the mess is just a clusterfuck.

TheLazyDuchess · 27/12/2018 20:27

Excuse typos Blush (this is why I really shouldn't try to multi-task).

AnyFucker · 27/12/2018 20:27

I think op is the vulnerable one, tbh

bifflediffle · 27/12/2018 20:29

The man is literally having it all.

Nubile new gf to fuck regularly (although he has to tell the op when he does, why? What the hell is that all about) and the op to do the child rearing and participate in threesomes.

What the fuck is that all about?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 27/12/2018 20:29

If you wanted to end this now and have another man in a poly relationship, would that be allowed?

Or a different woman, that you chose, not him?

I just can't seem to make this work long term in my head; but I appreciate that may well be my biases!

KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin · 27/12/2018 20:30

Your 27 yo old husband had a vasectomy last year but now you want it reversed as you’d like more children and she’d like a child with him? 🙄

This alone makes me think that the pair of you are fickle and immature and your life is probably a bit of a chaotic clusterfuck. Therefore I can’t imagine you are going to make this threeway thing last long term and I predict your children will be quite screwed up by the whole weird, self indulgent set up.

OrgyofSausages · 27/12/2018 20:31

Where were drugs mentioned?
God these people are self centred and dim. Happy to bring young kids up around drug taking and free for all shagging. What a good mother you are, OP.

VaselineDion · 27/12/2018 20:32

Biologicifemini what relevance has this? Is men’s behaviour the standard women ‘aspire’ to? Whilst I understand your point and that OPs situation is less than ideal (reprehensible to me), who cares what men would do?

Orangepear · 27/12/2018 20:35

How do you feel hearing your DC call another woman 'mummy'? I would be heartbroken.

BadinBed · 27/12/2018 20:38

This woman is slowly stealing your family and you can't even see it.

Kittykat93 · 27/12/2018 20:42

@OrgyofSausages

On another thread tonight op said her girlfriend and husband both smoked weed.

WWWWicked · 27/12/2018 20:42

The OP is the vulnerable one here, the girlfriend and husband are the primary relationship, the girlfriend has proof of financial contribution into the family home.

Meanwhile from what I can gather OP is at home looking after the children, financially reliant on these two?

This is going to go severely tits up for OP.

AtrociousCircumstance · 27/12/2018 20:42

May ‘work’ now but probably can’t last.

Primary relationship plus other = unequal dynamic. Unequal dynamic = trouble.

FamilyOfAliens · 27/12/2018 20:44

Lord knows monogamous relationships don't always end well!

Just because some people get divorced or are unfaithful doesn’t mean polyamorous relationships are the answer.

GemmeFatale · 27/12/2018 20:44

What makes you so sure your girlfriend will never want to be one half of the primary relationship?

fartwhenyoustandup · 27/12/2018 20:47

*@Gemmefatale
*
The girlfriend already is one half of the primary relationship. OP is relegated to the spare room listening to them shagging and doing the childcare whilst they get stoned. It's sad that she can't see this though.

Hellolittlesunshinexxx · 27/12/2018 20:48

I'm married to my husband and we have a son together. I cannot imagine my son calling anyone else mummy. I idolise him and I know it would break my heart if anyone came slightly close to having a similar role to me, as his mum. Do you ever feel like this?

AskingForAnEnemy · 27/12/2018 20:49

How long have you been married?

From what you've said, it sounds to me like your husband's having his cake and eating it and you're happy to go along with it so long as you get to "keep" him. Not very healthy

dementedma · 27/12/2018 20:50

i know several couples where the dcs refer to both women as "mummy" when at least one, and in one case neither , of the women are the children's birth mothers. I don't think that's the biggest issue here

BlancheM · 27/12/2018 20:50

It started as a sexual arrangement- do you all love each other now?
And do you feel the gf is exploited?

NottonightJosepheen · 27/12/2018 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AssassinatedBeauty · 27/12/2018 20:55

Do you want your girlfriend to have parental rights for your children and is there a way that this could happen?

Biber · 27/12/2018 20:55

Are you and the other woman close to each other, and would you be if the man wasn't there? I ask, because when my friends and I had small children we shared childcare and spent a lot of time with each other. We didn't act on it, but often thought that a basic unit of women and children living as a family with men being more periferal would be a much better way to live.

TheLazyDuchess · 27/12/2018 20:57

What would happen if him and her had a falling out and he wanted her to leave? Would you argue for her to stay, would sex with just you be enough for her, would you feel even a little relieved..?

Do you ever wonder if they talk about you behind your back, or keep secrets from you? What if they don't tell you how often they have sex, to placate you? Do you sit and have dinner/watch telly together/spend time together as a family?What about her days off? Does she take your dc out, to the park, cinema etc, or generally spend a lot of one on one time with them?

When was the last time you and your dh had sex alone?

FamilyOfAliens · 27/12/2018 20:59

No point asking any more questions of the OP - she went when the questions got too close to the bone.