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AMA
Original poster

I have a husband and we both have a girlfriend together AMA

265 replies

Soubriquet · 27/12/2018 19:20

People seemed interested in this so I thought I would start a thread

We’ve all been together for 18 months now and parent our 2 children.

Initially in the beginning we had a bit of jealousy and such but now we all get along perfectly

I am bisexual which is why I’m happy being with both her and him

We will be intimate as a 3some or if one of us is not in the mood, the other two will be intimate

Dh sleeps in the same bed as gf as I can’t stand sharing a bed with anyone.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 27/12/2018 20:01

would you say that both of you women centre him?

Would there ever be an occasion where one of you wasnt invited to join in, or two of you would prefer a twosome sex session and didnt want a third? How would you manage that?

Obviously its quite early days and youre still in the honeymoon period

FamilyOfAliens · 27/12/2018 20:02

Because she is their mummy too. She plays with them, cares for them, puts them to bed, buys them clothes, toys, food.

She’s not their mummy ffs.

Original poster
Soubriquet · 27/12/2018 20:02

Who takes whose side in arguments? Or does it depend on what the argument is about?

Yep will depend on the argument really but we rarely bicker.

OP posts:
OrgyofSausages · 27/12/2018 20:02

For the third time: who are the dc supposed to regard as their mother? Are you happy for them to see you all shagging each other? Your'e avoiding these questions aren't you OP?

TwistedStitch · 27/12/2018 20:03

She's not their mummy. She's a relatively new girlfriend in an unorthodox relationship. Massively irresponsible to your kids.

SoleBizzz · 27/12/2018 20:04

Selfish people.

FamilyOfAliens · 27/12/2018 20:04

That’s their primary attachment instinct fucked then.

TheLazyDuchess · 27/12/2018 20:04

"And yes we have had sex together just me and her. Not often as usually we tend to all like it together but there has been times."

But if they sleep in the same bed, they probably have a lot of sex without you? Does this bother you?

Did you start this so technically wouldn't be having an affair, instead you'd be a "cool wife" and everything would be seem okay/in your control? Were you afraid he would leave you?

"What will you do if your DH and the other woman have a child together and they become the primary?"

"That, I’m pretty confident to say, will never happen."

^That seems quite naive. When you got married did you think things would ever be how they are now? If you did, why get married/exclude the future 3rd partner..? If he met someone else and went off with them, would you and her stay together just you two, go your seperate ways, or look for another man to share?

ISdads · 27/12/2018 20:04

The financials are not fair to the other woman, if they are as described. Be careful not to exploit people. There is often someone being exploited/used in these scenarios. She isn't a free nanny with benefits.

Ginandsonicscrewdriver · 27/12/2018 20:06

Wow, she pays every second week? I’d dhe living rent free? Who owns the house?

fartwhenyoustandup · 27/12/2018 20:06

Would I be wrong in assuming from everything you've said, that your marriage was on the skids because you have an extremely low sex drive and he's a randy little devil?
He met a woman at work, and rather than see him swan off in to the distance with her, you've just willingly become a stranger in your own marriage?
I mean... they share the marital bed and have all the sex. You sleep in the spare room. Sounds to me like you're letting your husband have his cake and eat it to me. It's all so much easier for him to keep his 'wife' in the spare room whilst he shags his girlfriend in the marital bed, instead of be adult about the whole thing and accept that it's time to split, carve up the finances and the family.

TwistedStitch · 27/12/2018 20:06

So she has PR then? Equal say over medical decisions, schooling etc? If you break up next week you'll share custody with her? Being in some kind of 'poly' situation doesn't suddenly mean that sensible introduction of new partners to kids should go out of the window.

vaccinationquery · 27/12/2018 20:07

sounds ok to me. I have to sleep alone too so totally understand that !

Original poster
Soubriquet · 27/12/2018 20:08

I did have a massive post but it got lost so I’ll just answer this one and then I’m logging off

For the third time: who are the dc supposed to regard as their mother? Are you happy for them to see you all shagging each other? Your'e avoiding these questions aren't you OP?

Yes I am their mother. Their primary figure mother. I am a stay at home mum so spend a lot of time with them

And why on earth would my kids see us “shagging”?! I would be traumatised if I saw my parents going at it

OP posts:
FamilyOfAliens · 27/12/2018 20:08

sounds ok to me. I have to sleep alone too so totally understand that !

Yeah, fuck how the kids feel, as long as the adults are happy.

bifflediffle · 27/12/2018 20:09

I agree with those saying she isn't your kids mummy, it's a new relationship and you're letting her and your DH relationship become the primary. Massively worrying and irresponsible.

But that's just me, so I am out. Good luck.

MrsFoxPlus4 · 27/12/2018 20:09

I actually feel sick anytime someone says the kids see them “shagging”

Neverunderfed · 27/12/2018 20:09

She's not their mother.

FamilyOfAliens · 27/12/2018 20:09

So more like “ask me anything as long as you’re validating my lifestyle”?

Right.

vaccinationquery · 27/12/2018 20:09

But OP has said the kids have never really known any different and all they are seeing I presume are 3 happy loving adults ?

DamnShesaSexyChick · 27/12/2018 20:09

How disgusting

ConorMcGregorsChin · 27/12/2018 20:10

Ah. So you must have been the person on the spliff thread that just got deleted where you said you personally didn't smoke but your husband and girlfriend did (or is that just an incredible coincidece?)
Am I right? If so, how does that fit with your situation as in having kids?

AnyFucker · 27/12/2018 20:10

I think it's lovely you and your randy husband have found a dolly to play with

Biologifemini · 27/12/2018 20:10

You would never here x2 blokes agreeing to a set up like this with one woman.

Do you think it is a healthy set up for your children?

itsallgravybaby · 27/12/2018 20:12

OP you sound like you are all very happy and know what works for you.

Society dictates that we should be monogamous but I believe humans are capable of so much love and you can choose who and how you do that. Your children are growing up to see that love doesn't have any limits and as cheesy as that sounds I think it's great. I'm in a monogamous relationship btw.

Actually I do have a question, do you plan to include your girlfriend in your will etc so she has equal protection as you and your husband do through marriage?