I have a husband and we both have a girlfriend together AMA

[Soubriquet]

People seemed interested in this so I thought I would start a thread

We’ve all been together for 18 months now and parent our 2 children.

Initially in the beginning we had a bit of jealousy and such but now we all get along perfectly

I am bisexual which is why I’m happy being with both her and him

We will be intimate as a 3some or if one of us is not in the mood, the other two will be intimate

Dh sleeps in the same bed as gf as I can’t stand sharing a bed with anyone.

Why do people think she lets her kids watch? Bloody weirdos

Do you not feel like you've been replaced by a younger undamaged-by-childbirth model, given that he spends every night in bed with her?

That's how I'd feel. I'd constantly feel like I'd been put out to pasture.

I know someone who was also pretty confident.

It didn't end well for her.

If youve got an extremely low sex drive, then whats in it for you?

Basically they shag a lot, sleep together, and are a lot more intimate than you. Sounds like youve let them become the primary relationship tbh

As much as I think this sort of thing sounds like a fantasy of mine in many ways, it doesnt sound equal at all. I reckon youve been talked into this because you feel guilty that you dont have sex as much as you used to.
I mean, whatever floats your boat of course

Not at all

We spend a lot of time together. Gf also works long hours so generally they are sleeping when they are in bed. I know when they have had set as they tell me and no I don’t feel replaced at all

Wouldn't dream of wanting my daughter to call somebody else mummy
Neither would she want too.
And I'm sure my daughter wouldn't want to see her daddy with another women. (Holding hands, cuddling on the sofa. Or a kiss goodbye) I don't mean seeing them as in sex. But yeah each to there own anorl.
Just the kids I feel for.

It sounds like they are the primary and you have been pushed out

As much as I think this sort of thing sounds like a fantasy of mine in many ways, it doesnt sound equal at all. I reckon youve been talked into this because you feel guilty that you dont have sex as much as you used to.

I can see how you think that but actually I was the one who suggested it.

Dh once went two years without sex and didn’t complain once.

They do see us kissing each other but they couldn’t care less.

How do you know? You sound just like the parents of children I work with who claim the children never see or hear them arguing. Deluded.

Are the 3 of you faithful to each other, or are you all free to see/sleep with other people too?

My dd is very vocal when it comes to her thoughts so yes I would know

When they are older they might change their minds in how it works. In which case we would be a bit more private around the children as I will respect their rights as it’s our choice not theirs

What about the wider social implications for your children?? How on Earth are you going to normalise your situation to their new friends??

Are the 3 of you faithful to each other, or are you all free to see/sleep with other people too?

No faithful to each other.

If any of us were to go to anyone else it would be cheating

I have a question, OP.

If one of your DC has a friend over to play, would you kiss your girlfriend in front of the visiting child? If not, why not?

What about the wider social implications for your children?? How on Earth are you going to normalise your situation to their new friends??

It hasn’t affected it so far

Dd is in year 1 and has been to plenty of birthday parties. She is also a popular girl and I speak to a lot of the parents. They all know my circumstances.

Again if say they get to secondary school and don’t like the idea, then we would work out a way of keeping it much more private for their peace of mind

Why are you letting your kids call some woman they've known about a year 'mummy'?

Have you seen the film Professor Marston and the Wonder Women? You have a similar set up? Can’t say it’s my cup of tea, but watching that did make me feel less judgemental. I don’t mean judgemental in that it’s wrong, more that when I read about similar situations I always think that one party is getting the short straw / kidding themselves they’re as ok with it as they say they are.

If one of your DC has a friend over to play, would you kiss your girlfriend in front of the visiting child? If not, why not?

I might give her a quick peck like I would my husband but no over the top smooch sessions as it’s not really appropriate in front of kids...even if it was just me and him

Who takes whose side in arguments? Or does it depend on what the argument is about?

Are all 3 of to u open or private with your phones/texts etc?

Its horrible and it will be damaging those kids.

Why are you letting your kids call some woman they've known about a year 'mummy'?

Because she is their mummy too. She plays with them, cares for them, puts them to bed, buys them clothes, toys, food. Basically every thing I do

So would you be affectionate with your girlfriend in front of visiting children?

If we go shopping, one week it will be our turn to pay (me and dh share a bank account from before) and the next week she will pay.

This seems slightly unfair - there are 2 of you and one of her... shouldn't she only pay every 3rd week at most? Also they aren't her children so surely she shouldn't be contributing to their expenses...