I'm in A&E (and bored), AMA

[SimplySteve]

In A&E with abdominal pain, back pain, puking. It's busy here and I'm bored. AMA!

I've already had 10mg of Diazepam! And what I'm worried about is I'm in a side room here. No idea about the other ward. Bet my pulse has just gone through the roof. I am shitting myself.

Now, where did I say they stored the handcuffs. Will cuff myself to the loo door!

Are you under arrest?

Get yourself off the phone and to sleep.

No lol.

I'm on my iPad not my phone ;)

Just try to sleep. The whole of MN will be here tomorrow. You'll be grand. Just relax. Close your eyes and you will sleep a bit.

Oooo, morphine incoming it seems.

You're as bold as me. This is usually the point I make a break for it haha

Nice. drugs. sleep. Night.

Should be seen by surgeon around 8/9am. You've been fab btw.

I know the drill unfortunately.

Surgical team are the first around, very early in the morning, so don't even consider going for a shite until you've seen them. They do their rounds before surgery, so they can be there before you've even woken up. Usually around 8am. It's great waking up with a crowd around you. Then they talk among themselves etc. and then flutter off. A nurse will then flutter in to tell you if you're going to go into surgery. I know this drill so well.

And one, will have his two hands behind his back. Listening to a student telling him what's wrong.

Oh great. Open ward. And the ward weren't told a couple of salient points, or I wouldn't be here. Instead my heart rate is now 130. Grrr.

How is the pain now?

Excruciating.

Oh poor you. I hope they manage to move on your treatment a bit today.

When I made this thread I was hoping I'd only be a few hours! At least this threads keeping me company!

You'll fall asleep just in time for the surgical ward round.

I think they actually poke you with a stick to wake you up. Because as sure as God's in heaven, you'll wake up with about 10 of them looking at you in the bed. And you feel like an amoeba being studied.

In your amoeba like state, you suddenly can't remember where the pain is. Until they lie you down, poke and prod, and ouch, yes, mumble mumble mumble, curtains pulled again and you're like 'WTF just happened? Where's my coffee????'

The surgical team aren't know for their bedside manner. Their ability to find precisely where it hurts is second to none however.

They're in and out like some sort of ninja poking team. It takes them mere seconds.

I'm a smoker, so I always preferred being under the surgical team. Because once they had poked you awake, the nurses would let you out for a cigarette.
If you're under the medical team however......
You're sitting there like an idiot until about 11am and they swan in all sweetness and light and kindness and talk gently to you.

So you get out for a ciggy about 11.30am.
Definitely best to be under the surgical team.

Health-wise, maybe not so much, but if you're a smoker, aim for the surgical team on admission.
I wish you could say on admission, 'Hi, I'm Sooveritg, can I be with the surgical team?, Yes, I feel it's a surgical issue I'm having, and I prefer the time they do their rounds, so if you could admit me under the surgical team, that would be just fabulous. What? I know I've only a sniffle, but I don't like the hours that medical team keep'. 'No, I'll go for the surgical team thanks very much'.