Was the OW now the DW - AMA

[Ivgotasecretcanyoukeepit]

I was the OW now the DW so AMA if you’re interested.

My xh left me for his mistress. I was broken but he still seeing the DC more or less eow.

Four years on, he hardly sees them as his partner finds them too disruptive. If we need to speak about anything, he must have the phone on speaker. She asks the DC many questions about me and if I miss their Dad. I may be projecting but she appears very insecure about their life together. Are you?

I, under a different name, had a thread here and the help i received kept me going. I'm glad to know you are happy but at what cost?

Do you think you would have been as appealing if meeting as single people rather than the titillation of being an extramarital fling?

I thought she seemed familiar @AnyFucker

I vaguely recall a previous thread where she made it out to be as if they were star crossed lovers pining from afar

Why have you set the bar so low for yourself that you would settle for a cheating scumbag? Don't you wish you had more self respect?

Oh, it's you again. You do love the spotlight, don't you?

How do you sleep at night? Do you ever think about the woman whose life you tore apart?

We are completely suited. Even his exDW says that.

Yes. I suspect she does think you are well suited.

You sound a match made in heaven

@Care - no not surprised he left his wife. Without giving too much information, I was done with the situation and wanted to move on with my life. He chose to end his marriage.

No I’m not bothered about marriage he wanted to get married. Obviously I’m happy we did but it wasn’t a big deal for me.

@ShinyTeeth - in the end this is what happened.

@Rabid - that’s awful about your DC. I would never ask my DSD anything about her mum it’s too intrusive. My DH and I have my DSD slightly more than her mum so different situation.

@Joyce - Yes I think so. To be honest it was exhausting and I didn’t just do it for the sex I genuinely knew I loved him.

@AnyFucker - no I am not that poster. I posted on her thread about her waiting for her OM to leave his wife so entirely different situation if you look.

@Emma - life isn’t so black and white unfortunately. Would I have preferred to have met my DH if he was single absolutely but it wasn’t to be that way.

@Monkey - the spotlight?

We are completely suited. Even his exDW says that

Yep - she's right. Better off without him. Hardly a catch.

What specifically do you look for in a husband? Genuinely interested.

I think most people value integrity, loyalty, paternal skills.... your H gave no thought to his wife and daughter in approachjng you (as most people would expect to be kicked out if they were found out - obviously didn't worry about that eventuality), then lied to his exW & daughter, then walked out on them - his daughter must have been very young.

I would really struggle to commit to a partner without those qualities for a "connection".

If you are not NiteAndFog op, how do you feel about being pigeonholed with the likes of her ?

Op. How on earth can you trust your husband?! He will tire of you and repeat the process. They always do. They don't change their stripes!!

@AnyFucker - On this forum any poster that states they are or have been an OW are vilified. Thankfully in real life this isn’t the case so no I don’t feel pigeonholed.

@Kumanaay - those statements always make me laugh. Regardless if my relationship started with an affair or not the possibility of DH and I tiring of each other could happen just as it’s also a possibility in any relationship.

I don't consider a man who cheats as a good catch op. I met a guy once, fancied him straight away, we really clicked, he told me he was in a relationship, I said ok call me if/ when your single. How hard is that???

The Ops dh neglected his wife and family for an affair... it takes a special kind of man to do that Op.

AnyFucker- On this forum any poster that states they are or have been an OW are vilified. Thankfully in real life this isn’t the case so no I don’t feel pigeonholed

They might behind your back op. Sorry but one of my oldest friends was an ow. I still find it hard not to think less of the pair of them. We've moved on because life is too short and it's not my business.

Nite and fog met the partner at school though and has a child. This one doesn’t- although I’m sure nite and fog will be along soon......as others have said. If this was destiny, meant to be, etc. why couldn’t you be a decent human being and have him leave before you started shagging him? How long was he sleeping with you both for, before he figured he move on to you exclusively? And do you have so little reap t for others you couldn’t have said yes, I have strong feelings for you, but if you’re serious leave your wife and then we can see if we are compatible? I agree marriages dont always last. But letting the first die before moving on to the second is basic common decency.

How do you feel knowing you and your prize of a husband shat on another woman and her child and ruined their family?

Or are you so self centred that you believe yourself to be more important than that?

Nite & Fog yet again?🙄

No way are you as happy as you pretend to be - you find ways to talk about your relationship, and are too invested in upsetting women who've been cheated on, for that to be the case. You must be your DHs little shadow.

I'm at a loss as to why people tend to waste time asking you questions. You fucked a married man, he left his wife for you or was pushed into it as she chucked him out.. whatever..now you're married to him. Scintillating.