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Retired lap dancer- ask me anything

813 replies

yourprivatedancerEX · 26/06/2018 05:30

It’s not something I tell new people I meet that for 10 years I used to be a very successful lap dancer. I have a very different career now but often reminisce about my secret lap dancing past, always with fond memories!
I think it’s still something that is frowned upon by many and in my view I think that’s largely down to being misunderstood. So if any of you have any questions I will answer them and hopefully give you some interesting insight into the secret world of lap dancing! Ask away.

OP posts:
yourprivatedancerEX · 27/06/2018 23:59

Ooh I can’t believe I didn’t remember this one straight away, it’s one of my favourites.

Another funny one for you:

There was this guy that used to come in once a week, sometimes twice. He always came in alone, had one pint, one dance, then left. I took him to the booth and sat him down for the dance but he would close his eyes throughout the whole dance, only opening them when you told him it was over. He said it was because he had a mrs and didn’t think he should look. Fair play but why he paid for a dance I have no idea!

Anyway I wasn’t convinced and thought he’ll be peeping, there’s no way he’s paying and not watching. So I’d do the dance, all the while studying his face to see if his eyes moved or if he smirked. Nothing. At the end he would always say ‘very good- we’ll done’ and off he would go.

After I’d danced for him a few times, one night I was feeling mischievous so decided to test whether he really was watching or not. I took him to the booth, sat him down, he closed his eyes, and instead of lapdancing I just stood there and did the Macarena, then at the end whipped off my top and told him it was done. He opened his eyes and said, ‘very good- we’ll done’ Grin

I told the girls and they found it hilarious so after that we would take it in turns to dance for him and dare each other to do the silliest dances we could think of- all agreed in the changing room beforehand. So we had the chicken dance, the robot, some weird wobbling like a jelly dance to describe a few!

I know it sounds stupid but we found it so funny and it really made us laugh for hours on end. I’ve been sat here chuckling to myself as I recall the memory of him walking in the club and from all corners of the room all the dancers eyes meet and they smile a knowing smile!

And ohh the anticipation as he slowly finished his pint, we knew the dance was next. It was like a game of Russian roulette- we were sure it was only a matter of time until he opened his eyes and caught us in the act. He never did though! Grin

OP posts:
yourprivatedancerEX · 28/06/2018 00:01

Apollo never been to Vegas so can’t comment on that one sorry!

OP posts:
yourprivatedancerEX · 28/06/2018 00:04

Earthakitty

Still made time to post a bitchy comment though Grin

OP posts:
pallisers · 28/06/2018 00:06

any one who works in the clubs have any idea who owns them? Mostly men? or women? or conglomorates?

Were the club managers mostly men or women?

yourprivatedancerEX · 28/06/2018 00:07

Daddy be good

Wow what a brilliant post, and great to have a male point of view. Thank you so much for commenting (and reading the thread!) but I suspect you may get some grief for it! I hope not as your post was honest, intelligent and kind Smile

OP posts:
yourprivatedancerEX · 28/06/2018 00:13

Wow peppa that’s a lot of questions! It will have to be one for tomorrow I’m afraid, unless the others are still up and want to begin answering some of them for you!

Bed time for me!

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HappyStripper · 28/06/2018 00:21

@Peppapigsucks

The men really vary, it’s definitely not just those 2 types. We have a lot of tech guys just because of the location, lots of them are scrawny and a bit awkward but they are great to dance for as they’re sweet and sit there pretty much giddy with excitement. There are some arty types, musicians etc. A lot are retired and they tend to be great as they come in for the day shift and make good regulars so there are quite a few I see weekly. There’s businessy people and construction workers too but those are a very mixed bunch rather than following your preconceptions.

With my daughter doing it I’d personally be fully supportive. I find the current job market can be kinda a mess and honestly university doesn’t seem to guarantee much anymore so her making money instead of getting in debt would be great. Career wise I feel like it can be one but it takes a lot of work and being very smart about it. You have to make enough money by 40 and I feel like the US is about the only place you could make that amount to then live off investments. But I don’t feel like it should only be considered a short term job.

HappyStripper · 28/06/2018 00:23

@pallisers

Owner wise most are men, and I’d say almost exclusively. I think honestly because most bars etc are also male dominated. Manager wise we have one female and about 5 male, so still not massively female but she it’s definitely more frequent to have some women managing clubs.

HappyStripper · 28/06/2018 00:25

That story is fantastic op haha, I’d love that customer. We have mirrors pretty much everywhere in the club and often when doing dances that are particularly long I’ll make faces at myself behind the guys back to entertain myself and take my mind off my burning hamstrings.

cheval · 28/06/2018 00:32

I am sad that women are still doing this. Yay great, some will say they can choose. But it’s exploitation of the female form. Good you’ve earned money by it, but we as a gender really need to move on from this.

CadyHeron · 28/06/2018 00:39

I am sad that women are still doing this. Yay great, some will say they can choose. But it’s exploitation of the female form. Good you’ve earned money by it, but we as a gender really need to move on from this.

That's each to their own,though.To me, women telling women what they should or shouldn't be doing is no better than men telling them what they should be doing.
It should be about individual choice. You as a gender might want to move on,but clearly others including myself think we should be able to decide what we want to do.

waterlego6064 · 28/06/2018 06:45

OP, in your opening post, you made reference to your ‘secret’ lap dancing past. Do you actually keep it secret, or is that just a figure of speech?

Carly46 · 28/06/2018 06:45

What were the men like were they sleazy and was u ever man handled or felt unsafe whilst working there and wat did u do with all that money did u save it and wat career do u do now

yourprivatedancerEX · 28/06/2018 06:46

Waterlego

Well those close to me know but i don’t go around using it to introduce myself if that’s what you mean Grin

Would be a little odd!

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waterlego6064 · 28/06/2018 06:50

Yes of course. You used the word secret, so was just trying to work out what you meant by that!

yourprivatedancerEX · 28/06/2018 06:52

Good morning everyone!

Not much time this morning so probably won’t get chance to answer much until later but just wanted to pop on and say thank you to all those lovely posters and dancers/ex dancers who have been and continue to be so actively involved in the thread.

@Cadyheron
@Happy stripper
@Stripstriphooray
@confusssed
@Illhavealargeglassofred
@Missconductus
@Greenday49
@Guest8426
@Ratrolypoly

And many others I’m sure I’ve probably missed, because I’m still waking up!

And to the dancers especially I have LOVED that you have been answering questions even though it has meant you’ve been on the receiving end of some stick as well.

I also love that you’ve all kept the tone of the thread even when others are being rude and disrespectful you have all remained polite and dignified and not allowed them to derail the thread or drop to their level.

Please continue! I will be back later today but have a very busy morning so will be quiet for a bit.

Have a nice day all Smile

OP posts:
yourprivatedancerEX · 28/06/2018 06:52

Carly all those questions have been answered a few times now up thread.

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waterlego6064 · 28/06/2018 07:21

Thinking about it, maybe your definition of a secret is different to mine. To me, it means something that you choose not to tell people, rather than something that you just don’t tend to tell.

I assumed your meaning was aligned with mine but maybe not.

yourprivatedancerEX · 28/06/2018 07:29

Waterlego well yes there are some I choose not to tell. There’s no need for my current employers to know for example. In fact as it was 10 years ago I can’t say there are many times it would pop up naturally in conversation with anyone. But I wouldn’t say it’s a bit secret as in no one must ever know. Just that it’s secret as most don’t know.

OP posts:
yourprivatedancerEX · 28/06/2018 07:29

*big

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waterlego6064 · 28/06/2018 07:34

Thanks for explaining.

Carly46 · 28/06/2018 07:37

Must have missed all the answers then as I wouldn’t of asked if I knew the answer to them all just curious that’s all

StripStripHooray · 28/06/2018 08:11

I always assumed strip clubs were tawdry places and the associated men who went to strip clubs were either 'sun reader' sleazy brash builder types or banker/politicians types with massive egos and money to squander. So both groups tending towards the misogynistic (to stereotype) and often in male dominated typically boys club careers. Was this your experience, ever seen any men apologetic or embarrassed to be there, any arty creative types?
Literally every kind of person (man or woman) I came across. From 18-80, all walks of life, all different kind of jobs and careers.

I imagine that both sets of men would be horrified if their girlfriend was dancing (unless they were voyeurs) as this would damage their egos?
Lots of men say "I wouldn't let my girlfriend do this" Which speaks of their own sense of ownership over their partner. Most would still have a dance.

Do you think as women enter more male dominated careers and equality in the workplace increases, strip clubs will go into decline or just go underground?
It's not illegal, so it won't be underground, it may become less obvious or prevalent and therefore close down, but I found the recession did a lot of that anyway.

You say that you wouldn't mind your daughter doing this as long as she had a proper career after it? Does this mean you are ashamed of it or don't consider it a proper career?
I'm not ashamed no, it's just not something you can do whilst about to draw a pension, and there's no guarantee about the money you will earn, so you have to have a back up plan the whole time. Savings are hugely important. Some women make careers of it (very few) but I don't consider it a career, I've said a few times, it's a job, for a relatively short time, you can be a high earner, but there's not any progression.

Or is it because once you reach a certain age the men loose interest as they want to see young lithe bodies?
No, men don't lose interest. They may be more intrieged but it doesn't stop them spending money, I know a dancer who celebrated her 50th birthday at work, you wouldn't have known she was 50. But again, it's not something you can do whilst waiting to draw a pension, there's no maternity or sick pay.

Isn't it also an ageist industry if this is true? These are genuine questions i'm intrigued to know your answer. It must be quote an ego boost for yourself to get all the attention and lots of money, but if people then lose interest as you get older this could also be quite damaging to self esteem, same could be true of modelling etc of course?
It was never an ego boost for me, it was work. It's about extracting as much as possible in the shortest time possible for as little work as possible. If the customer found me attractive, brilliant, but it didn't always make it easier to get the money. If you took each rejection personally or got upset, you'd spend a lot of time upset. Its literally every night, all night.

Watching a man jangling his bits about on a stage wouldn't do it for me to be honest much less pay him for it
Me neither.

I need a back story wink there are certainly less male strip clubs for women, why do you think this is?
Because most women won't part with cash to see a cock and balls.

And finally...what on earth sort of things did you chat to them about...hows the weather, do you come here often?!
Anything and everything. Often start off with the hello you having a good night lads? chatter. Find your target and then direct the conversation. So, what do you do? Are you local? What's that tattoo about? Where did you get that shirt? Have you been here before? Who are you out with? Is town busy? What's the occasion? Etc. Depends on the customer but I've had fascinating conversation about Greek and Roman mythology, conversation about politics, sports, the internet, space etc.

StripStripHooray · 28/06/2018 08:13

You too, ex it's been interesting to have a trip down memory lane (even though it's only a couple of years ago for me) Grin Thanks for starting the thread.

SidSparrow · 28/06/2018 08:29

Funny I had an old flatmate who used to go to lap dancing clubs and sometimes I would join him. Initially I thought everyone was friendly but then after a while the nature of it disgusted me. It was just slutty girls being 'nice' for money and attention. And lo and behold here is a former lap dancer looking for attention proving that it is the perfect career for a vain attention seeker. Who cares about lap dancing, it's really not that mysterious.